Have you heard???

Have you heard the rumor? HAHAHAHAHHAHA! RUMOR say that out loud... that's a really funny word! About as funny as the people who start them. I've always been told to not care what people are going to say but my goody goody gumdrop keep your mouth shut. If you're going to start a rumor please let it be about someone else other than a person that I haven't seen in 4 YEARS!! And possibly someone I might be interested in..... hahahahahah. i'd rathers not hear about myself being with a psychopath or a pathological liar. But just so you know, nothing like that happened....... thanks for that though..... i enjoyed it. Soooooooooooooooooooo WE HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! WHY????????????? I was so excited to leave G at my moms and get a peaceful drive to school where I could sing super loud and bust my ear drums and then get out about 11:00 to go home...... Ah well...... Week 6 of this class! and I'd rathers write a blog than do my homework that's due tonight! haha. But guess what?!!! 2 more weeks of this then I get off for break and start back in January for One class! then Capstone and DDDDDDDOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Here's My Secret

Are you ready? This is something you'll never expect. Ok.... Me and Dustin are no longer together. Yea weird, stupid, dumb, whatever you wanna say.... Talk about me now please...... Here's the truth: we're still friends and he's a GREAT guy! I still love him and I always will..... But apparently we are just two people who don't belong together... i guess? So I'm confessing this now so when you see it in the newspaper one of these days, you won't say "what happened" here's what happened....... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.... understand? hahahaha! just kidding. but really... that's something that shouldn't go public and if i've told you or if dustin has told you, then it's your business.... but don't be offended if you ask me and i tell you it doesn't matter... So now for the sympathy part.... I've been living by myself for 2 months.... it sucks, i'm lonely and yes i'm at my parents house all the time, so go ahead and judge me on that too.... but i'm bored, all the time. I hate to be on a break, I love to be at work because it keeps my mind off of things and i stay busy... at home i have nothing to do and when i get bored i get sad.... so i stay where people are all the time, so i don't start thinking about stuff...... Anyways........ that's the story.. don't ask any questions please, because seriously one time someone asked me about it and i started bawling.... do you wanna see me cry? If you don't then you better not ask me.... I mean really I'm ok... but at the same time I'm not.... The only reason i posted this is because I didn't want anyone asking when they seen it in the paper... and the second reason is because when you ask me about dustin and I don't know the answer... i can't lie about it anymore. So there's the news.... great huh.... no not really. Let me tell you what sucks. It sucks that when you're 16 you plan out your entire life.... getting married, having 3 kids and being married for the next 80 years..... and raising your children together.... then life smacks you in the face and you've been divorced twice and once again your raising your child on your own..... That's what sucks. but i guess God has a plan for everyone... although it's hard to look at it that way sometime.... it's the truth. And it's something that has to be accepted. Ok anyways I have nothing else to say... I should do my homework now... hey it's been a while since i told you I HATE SCHOOL!!!! NEVER GET YOUR MASTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! But hey listen to this.... After this class, i have ONE CLASS LEFT!!!!! and then my capstone and IM DONE!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the homework is getting harder and harder for me to do.... stress with life plus i just dont have a want to do it! but you know what.... I WILL!!!!!!!!!! Because once upon a time someone said I would never finish with my bachelors degree and you know what i did! When people say I won't do something.... I HAVE TO DO IT! People will not determind my life..... that is my choice..... alright... I hope everyone has a good thanksgiving....

holy cowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Well can you beleive it's been that long since i've wrote a blog post? I've been thinking lately that I needed to write one, but not until I had the right words to say. I've had so many negative words I would've wrote if I would've wrote any sort of blog post in the past 3 months. The past three months have been the longest three months of my life! Well actually now that I look back, it's went by really fast! I forgot that school started 3 months ago! Can you beleive we've been in school for 3 months? not me! and its almost thanksgiving and almost christmas and i had a birthday and I'm 27! that means i'm practically 30 which means i'm practically 100 which means IM AN OLD LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh really? before you know it i'll be dead... haha! Well I decided I'm not sharing any news in this blog post.... because i don't have time. I can't beleive my baby is going to be 5 in 2 weeks..... that's just insane because yesterday I was at the hospital holding my newborn.... :( boo hoo! boo hoo! ok i guess maybe i will come back later and type the important information, just don't have time right now!!!!!!!!!! have a lovely freezing cold day!

It may be a rant day!

hello bloggy, nice to see you, its been a looooooooooooooooong time... you're just as lovely as you used to be!!!! haha! that was fun. so today i feel like ranting! so you can call me a ranter! FIRST OF ALL! TO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO STUCK HER TONGUE OUT AT ME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LUCKY I DIDNT RUN OVER YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahah. just kidding but let me tell you about this... so today i stopped in the road to let two little girls cross the road on their bikes, oh how nice of me RIGHT???? yea that was nice!!!!!!! i'm soooooooooooooooo nice...... then one little girl proceeds to ride her bike across, stops in the middle of the road and sticks her tongue out at me!!!!!!! talk about maaaaad!!!! hahahaha. the bad thing is G seen it... and shes been doing that lately and i whoop her for it so now she probably thinks its ok because the litle girl in the road did it to a complete stranger! Even though we talked about it and she said she was going to stop doing that. but anyways after i thought about it, i told my mom i should've just stuck my tongue back out at her!!! HAHAHAHA NOW THAT WOULDA BEEN FUNNY!!!! but really. if you're kid doesn't respect someone they don't even know, then i'm sure they don't respect their parents. but then again she is just a kid and they do stuff like that. but my gosh it didn't make me happy!!!! Next on my list..............i get so sick of judgemental people! You know what who cares what my hair looks like and who cares what i'm wearing...... i'm still the same person! i dont like to fix my hair and i like to wear comfy clothes! shorts and a tshirt and I LIKE IT AND ITS COMFY SO QUIT STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!! haha ok that was fun. i was yelling in my mind. This happens at school it happens at walmart. I know that its peoples nature to judge but seriously stop. i'm sure i do the same thing but i dont stare. i dont like to dress up, when i do dress up then people still stare and wonder why i'm dressed up but then i feel paranoid cuz what if my boobs are hanging out?? hahahahahah! what if my fat roll slipped out the side? ok i think i'm done now!!!! Enjoy :)

im backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Well it's been so long.... and i'm supposed to be doing homework but id rathers type like crazy instead of all neat sophisticated typing!!!!!! So let me tell you about my masters...... since the last time i mentioned anything about it i was going to quit! haha. Well that class that was so terrible that the instructor gave me 2 F's.. I actually got really close to getting an A in the class... buuuuut i didn't... anyways that's the class that made me want to quit and i think it was just the instructor she didnt like me or something because in the last class i took i got a 99.7 in the class..... almost a perfect grade! and in the class im in now i'm making a perfect grade almost at week 4... soooo yea. i'm happy now! After this class, I will have 2 classes in the fall and then 2 classes in the spring and IMMMMMMMMMMMMM DOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! can you beleive that????????? can you? can you? can you? I CANT! but i dont know what possessed me to want to go back to school anyways because i really can't stand it. I need a break and every wednesday and sunday night i find myself at this computer griping about having to do it when it was my choice to do it in the first place.... ohhhhhhhh but one day ill be a millionaire because i'll have my own school that will be a famous school...... and ill be famous and thats all... ok probly not but still. we can all dream. Speaking of dreams.... you know what i dream about all the time and i absolutly HATE DREAMING ABOUT IT???? (has nothing to do with my retainer or my ex).. BASKETBALL! It makes me so mad when i wake up and realize ohhh yea that's over and i can never play like that again!!!!!!! WHen I woke up this morning, they were just about to announce my name.... and i awaken... yea sucks. then i wake up all sad. i dream about it all the time though.i wish i still played basketball or softball... thats the only 2 reasons why i miss high school. So I was watching super nanny the other night and you know what? she said the f word!!!! i actually rewinded it and then pushed record so i could show d that she did that! she said it to the kid! that's even worse... she said "and stop this f-ing around!" I was like ohhhhhh my gosh! well its weird that i have a lot to talk about and then i start typing and then it all disappears. well i have to tell you i went to a workshop last week in OKC......it was pretty amazing. You know how school is these days? Pre-K is teaching Kindergarten stuff... and they are expected to know so much before they go to kindergarten... but you know what... 4 year olds really aren't ready for all the stuff we do in pre-k! they can do it sure... but they aren't ready for it. we need to be building on other things such as fine motor, gross motor, hand eye coordination..... ya know... the basic simple stuff...... we are cramming stuff in them so hard that they are expected to learn wayyyyyyyyyyy to much! but we have to teach it to them because if we don't then we fail because they aren' ready for kindergarten..... it's kinda a lose-lose situation becuase some states are even losing all their recess..... and that's just crazy! that is why there are so many children being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD these days..... Not only did this workshop help me, but getting my masters, i did a research simulation about Play in Early Childhood... and my research question was "Does the amount of playtime a child gets in a day affect that child’s behavior or learning capabilities during circle time or learning time?" This is something I stand very strongly behind because in the class before this one I done a lot of research about why play is important and there were so many reasons why we shouldn't eliminate play.... but I feel that is what it is coming to..... and it's very sad becuase we are robbing kids of their childhood. that's what kids are supposed to do is play.... and we are taking the only thing they know away from them! For instance.... Even as adults... we work work work, sometimes we need our "play" time or our "me" time. Can you imagine how much play time children need if adults need that much. we're forcing them to sit in chairs... when they should be up and moving! If they aren't at school, they come home and sit in the chair and play nintendo games.... not good.... anyways off that soapbox... I'm ready to be done with school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know what I love? SQUASH!!!!!!! I have squash plants and they finally started making me some squash and now i have too much. I also have tomato plants that i wish would hurry up and make me some tomatoes because I LOVE TOMATOES!!!!!!!! I could live on tomatoes! Let me tell you something funny..... last week for our blog assignment.... (note: this class is about culture and diversity) we had to pretend that something happened in the US and the survivors had to be moved to a country that we knew nothing about.... we could take three things with us and only three things.... let me tell you what i picked! HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I bet you can't wait!..... #1 a cow.... #2 a gun.... #3 a bull! HAHAHAH! I read other peoples blogs and they were like... i'd take my bible, a photograph of my family and money.... hahahahah! I mentioned that I was thinking about the future.. if i had to move to a country.. you'd have to make a living somehow.. therefore I'd raise cows and shoot a steer to eat! Food to eat and cowhide to keep me warm... haha. But then i re-read our assignment and it said 3 small things.... so i commented underneath it that i'd take money, a gun and SWEET TEA!!!! hahah these people prolly think i'm crazy.. but that's ok because i am. But really imagine that happened to you? You couldn't just take material things... they aren't going to get you by.... you have a picture to look at and a bible to read (ok i can understand a bible but i'm sure they give them away over there somewhere). but you have to think about life in the future... not memories of the past... Sure you'd miss your family, BUT if you beleive in God, you will see them again (woooooaaaahhhhh, this is not where it ends... i will carry you with me... woooaaaahhh til i see you again... hahaha) Ok so I have 8 minutes because drop dead diva is coming on... and I can sit in there and pretend to do homework but really be watching drop dead diva.... i stay up til about 2 am anyways so i can do it then... lol! I'm trying to do it but my hands wont stop typing!!!!!!!!!!! Ok someone wants koolaid and apparently I'm a maid... so I'll go now so i have time to make koolaid before drop dead diva! YAY! BYE!

It's just that kinda day...

Well here we go... First of all.... I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG!!!! WOW! I love it. You know why I have a blog.... because I can gripe all I want and if you talk about me... it's your own fault... its your choice whether you look at this or not... Unlike facebook when the griping whining and complaining shows up in your news feed.... yea thats not me... So if you're gonna grip about my whining... please don't read... hahahah! So I have to tell you I've pretty much cried the end half of the day... D got up and went to work this morning while i was asleep.... so it was ok.. He text about 830 and wanted me to come take him to the doc... so i got g up and we went but then his dr. appt. wasnt until 1030 so we waited around... went to dr. he released him for light duty at work and dustin called his boss told him... dropped the paper off with him and told me to take him back to work... and guess what i do??? I CRIED!!!!!!!! like a big fat baby!!!! for 1 i was mad.. because i just knew after the dr. me and d would get to hang out alone for a while... but noooooo he wanted to go to work... needless to say he didn't tell me he was just going to talk to the safety guy from the city and fill out an accident report...and be home in 2 hours. And you know how men are... he couldn't understand why i was crying... well hmmm lets see.. the last time i kissed you good bye for work.. i got a phone call and thought you were dying.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I cried all the way to his work and when I dropped him off and all the way home. Then i was fine when i got home just sat on the couch with the tv on mute! haha it was so quiet... I never get this silence.... Then I heard a truk pull in and i'm like whaaaaaaaaaaaaat is that him already??? and then he came in and i started crying again! THen he said... if it makes you feel better i'm not going to work tomorrow... AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! ISN'T THAT JUST PRECIOUS!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Ok now that you've read my crying confessions pretend you never read these.... because remember............ I DONT CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm tough and I never cry! Remember that............... OR ELSE!!!!!!! HAHA

Honey, I love your love, the most!

Ok.......... this one may be a little sappy and sad............ So... You never know how much you take for granted until you almost lose something that means so much to you.... like my blankey... i lost my blankey! HA JUST KIDDING!!! I briefly told you on facebook my hubby was in an accident. So here's what happend. He was brushhogging on a hill on the turnpike when he turned and started going down a hill, tractor popped out of gear and flew to the bottom of the hill, throwing him out of the tractor.... I heard when the guys got down there he was face down in the rocks.... i may have died if i would have found him like that.... i would never want to find anybody like that. anyways he was unconscious. Long story short he got stitches and 14 staples in the back of his head, and stitches in his face under his eyes with lots of bangs, scratches and bruises. Also a severe concussion. He's moving around well today... especially compared to when we left the hospital and he was about to fall over walking out of there. Don't tell anyone i said this but me and my dad were fishing and when i got a call and then called to find out what happened.... we turned around and hightailed the boat ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER END OF EUCHA! I didn't want to cry because you know there's those things that won't let you cry when certain people are around... yea my dad is one of them.... I've only seen him cry once in my life at his sisters funeral and hope i never see him cry again... but I feel like he doesn't need to see me cry either.... lol! weird i know... but when I got in my truck and headed for the hospital i bawled all the way there..... just thinking... what if he doesn't make it? what if he's not ok? I was so relieved to walk in the ER and see his eyes open! I just wanted to bawl from relief. So today, he's well. Very very achy and sore. We actually went to town to buy some new shoes for the kids and he did well except for when i hit a bump.... it hurt him really bad. his ribs and insides are killing him.... but overall i must say wayyyyy better. Now... here's the bad part... today.... i kept telling him i wanted to go see the tractor and i don't think he wanted me too or he didn't want to or something, but finally we went down there.... and it was at the bottom of this MONSTER hill throught the fence in some rocks..... that's when it hit me how bad it really could have been....... i mean it was bad.. but he's so lucky to be alive! the front axle on the tractor is by the back tire..... i just got such a sick feeling from seeing it. it was terrible. I just couldn't imagine what he was thinking when it happened. But I've been home with him ever since it happened on Friday. We were home all day saturday and then today we went to town. He wants to go to work tomorrow but I DONT WANT HIM TO!!!! I don't want him to leave. I feel like a little kid who's mommy is about to leave her at school! I don't want to let him go!!!!!!!!! I need him by my side!!!!!! Let me tell you this... He never wants me to lay right by him... but earlier he said i'm gonna come lay by you... and he tried to get up but he couldn't and he said well maybe you can come lay by me.... it was the sweetest thing ever! i said awwww you never want me to lay by you!!!!!!!! that's so sweet!!! hahaha. corny but you just gotta know him.... I can't let go of his hand. I feel asleep last night right beside him holding his hand. I'm gonna cry when he leaves. HOpefully theyll send him home! I told him I was going with him cuz he couldn't drive.... but i dont think i can stop him. i dont want him to go!!!!!!!!!!! It should be the law that after something this drastic happens that the person must stay with their spouse for at least a week! maybe a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways the point is Today I'm a very thanksful person. What would i do without my husband???? I thought about that all the way to the hospital! Of course you always think the worst even if it isnt the worse. It could have easily been worse. But Praise God it wasn't! Ok now my homework is done... I better go slave some more and take him a Popsicle! HAHAHAHA!