Why hello there dear friends. It's been a while (since i could... hold my head up high... and its been a while...) HAHA! you know there is a song for almost EVERYTHING you say!!!!! I'm serious. One day I was having a conversation and everytime the person said something I would be singing a song in my head! I may be the only weirdo around that does that. So let's talk about school. Oh my gosh. First off I have to say I've NEVER had a class that rests as good as this class.... then I will say... I've NEVER had a class that sits in their chairs in the morning and does their "brain boxes" like this class does... I've NEVER had a class that sits and takes their time on a paper..! I have an AMAZING class!!!! But for some reason I am VERY stressed out about school this year. Maybe it's because I'm still in summer mode. I dont think i got all the summer out of me. I need to swim a couple more times. and tan! I woke up this morning with the worst stopped up nose i've ever had (and head) then i get to school and my nose is running....then i sit down for lunch and i can't eat because i cant keep my mouth closed cuz i couldnt breathe thru my nose. Then i was freezing in the classroom and had my coat on... and wore my coat to the busses! HAHA what a dork! it was so muggy outside. i think there was almost a fire in my coat. But now i'm so stopped up again its not even funny. my head hurts, my eyes hurt, my back hurts. I NEED A DAY OFF! haha jk! I guess i should probly start going to sleep earlier. maybe that would make me feel better. This weekend was amazing but it sure didnt last long enough. I love the weekend. I mainly love friday because on friday you think "oh yea!!! its friday i got all weekend to do what i want." then saturday comes and you think crap its halfway over and then sunday im thinking dang it, its already time to go back to work tomorrow! I LOVE FRIDAYS!!! I actually love thursdays though because i think alright the faster i go to sleep the faster its friday..lol! So did you know my place is for sale? well not my place but the place im living on... isnt that scary? What if it sells? What will we do? I seen someone put a status one time that said One good thing about living in a house thats for sale is your house is always clean. haha. but the bad thing is i don't think people care about the house. I think they'd buy the place for the 900 + acres. So they probly won't even look in the house. But i'm tryin to keep it clean anyways. I'm not very good at it right now. So my dear lovely friend talked me into taking a cake decorating class. I think it will be fun. I fear that if i feel like i do this week when i try to decorate a cake, i will probly end up crying!!! it looks kinda hard. what if i cant do it? i'm sure theres people who cant do it right? or will i be the first? hahahaha only kidding surely i can do it. its not like i will die if i can't. luckily its just for fun. You know something funny? salesmen are annoying.... but you know what i've found out? thats the only way you can sell stuff.. if your annoying! If you just lay back and wait for people to buy stuff itll never happen. I feel soooo annoying on facebook selling my scentsy stuff... buuuuut it seems to be working! Uh oh.... i'm yawning! You know what I wish I could do? I wish I could teach in a hospital!!! is that possible? or I would just love to be a teacher where you could get 1 on 1 with children. It would be so much fun. I think i have to start running. remember when i was training to beat carmelita jeter? well i failed apparently. i was really doing pushups every morning and night and sprinting..... i was doing good. but now i lose. I stopped. i should probly start doing the insanity again. that was amazing! a definite workout. i just wish it wasnt so repetitive on some things. i don't like to do the same exercise 3 times on one video. maybe i could just find 1 tape i like and do that over and over? that would work. man you know what sounds good right now? chicken fettuine alfredo from olive garden! you know i've only ate at olive garden one time!!! ONE TIME!!!! thats crazy. this is a boring blog. can you beleive i have no one to talk about????? hahahah. and i'm not mad at anybody!!!! strange huh. haha not really. i think im just blahhhh right now. don't have time to be mad or judy. In all reality.... I want to ask that everyone pray for my daughter. You know what..... what would I do if she HAD to go to her sperm donor?? I think i may die. that could never happen right? One could only hope. Sometimes I wonder who's side the law is on. If someone hasnt seen their kid since their age has actually been a number and now they're almost 4... you'd think theres no way possible he could see the kid. That's 3 years. That would not only kill me... it would kill her! i honestly don't think she could handle it. she's such a drama queen. i could see her crying the whole time. ok off this subject.... it will never happen... but one has to think about it ever so often...
Ok i think i'm tired. Good night!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Here's a for real one!
Wow! You know what's crazy. I get home from work around 430 and before i know it it's 1030! how does time fly so fast? I've been trying to put G in bed around 830 or 9 so she'll be good a rested... but tonight we were outside til 9 then she played in here til about 10 and finally got her in bed. Why does time go so fast now? It's never went by this fast. You know what else? When your setting in a meeting listening to people talk it goes by soooo slow! Then when we get to work in our rooms, times gone and its time to go home. I feel like I have had no time to work in my room. whats the deal? I"ve had plenty. But where does the time go? I always heard thats what happens when you get old. HAHAHA! So I have to talk about Teen Mom tonight! Talk about HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok so Farrah.... that was very weird. I could tell when she was picking out rings that the guy would be gone! then on the paddle boat... Yea i think he woulda rathers jumped in the water. that's why he was tugging at the neck of his lifejacket, he wanted to take it off and drown himself. haha! But what's weird is she was so different then she usually is. She wasnt hateful or any of that. She was just very pushy. But I can relate to her on that part. I can remember when I first got divorced. I was so ready to find someone because your child needs stability in their life. They don't need people in and out of their lives all the time. I was in a pretty big hurry to get married again... even though it took a while. I feel sorry for the guys i dated around with because i was like ok i'm ready to get married... haha not that pushy, but i know exactly how farrah feels on that. She was actually halfway normal on this one. Pushy, but normal. Now caitlynn and tyler are starting to bore me. I love caitlyn and tyler... they are like the most grown up ones on the show but its getting kinda boring in that area. Amber and Gary are just ANNOYING!!!! They fight over the dumbest things. Tonight was kinda understandable but it was just annoying! i left the room when they came on. Now I saved the best for last! Maci and Ryan! OHHH MYYY GOSH!!! I love ryan. He's the hottest man ever invented. He's so gorgeous and he has that dip in his mouth. I love that look (i'm putting my tongue to my bottom lip area.. haha). But wow that got a little out of hand. Maci has a right to say what she wants on twitter... and if little Judy Ryans girlfriend wasnt snooping on Maci's twitter page she probably wouldnt have found it! That's what gets ya.... NEVER nose around on an ex's facebook or twitter..... for 1:you might accidentally hit the add as friend button.... OOPS! haha! For 2 you will only find things that piss you off! For 3: It's the past, forget it! But if I was her I probably would have snooped on Maci's page too. That's what girls do. But all in all I think Ryan and Maci need to get married! I love them both. They are both cool, fun people. and I do like Kyle. Kyle spends more time with Bentley than either of them do. And you know what I think... I think Bentley is Kyle's son. Bentley looks JUST LIKE KYLE!!!! He looks nothing like ryan. Kyle is so good with Bentley, buuuuut maci and kyle need to get married and thats that. They act just alike they fight like they're married, so why not get married. haha. By the way I am thoroghly P.O.'ed about something tonight.... BUT I'd rathers not put it on here..... SORRY! Just thought i'd tell you how angry i am. Some people need to grow up. Even like 50 year olds! Talk about RIDICULOUS! (It's no one i work with by the way... haha) Tonight i told d to time me and i ran as fast as i could to the corner of our road.... then i caught my breathe and ran back. which its probably 100 meters. I felt like i was running really fast. But if he REALLY timed me, it was prolly pretty slow. HAHA! Then i did it a couple more times. Then I got on my bike and rode it to the highway and back... to the highway and back again. It was tiring! We were outside all evening though. it was so nice. I love this 80 and 70 degree weather, its so much nicer than the 100 degrees!! Ok i have to get in bed before this gets too long again! TA TA FOR NOW!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
I'm just gonna go ahead and warn you.... This is my first blog post that i've actually had a real computer to type on! soooooo theres no telling how long this will be! Cuz i'm a good typer... lol! Ok hmmm what do i have to talk about today? well first.... ITS RAININ!!!! WAHOOOOO! OH YEA!!! 2nd my dog just got in the barn cuz shes scared of thunder, scared the poo out of me cuz she keeps hitting the door. Aaaand i'm too scared to go out there and get her out. So guess she'll stay safe tonight. Well ya know what i have to go back to work tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY!!!! already? ok i am excited BUT i can't sleep. dont you just love it. I was so tired today and I kept thinking I cant wait til bedtime and then i kept saying well why?? i wont sleep. aaaaand here i am! There's 2 nights (maybe 3) during the year that I can't sleep! #1 this sunday cuz of work tomorrow. #2 next sunday cuz we get kids on monday.. very nerve racking! #3 the night before parent teacher conference. Especially my first year with p/t conferences. this last year wasnt so bad because i had already talked to several of the parents and knew them and talked to them often. I'm feeling this year will be the same way. I know most of my kids parents... several are past parents which is very exciting. luckily they're the ones i liked... haha! ok i like them all. :) You know what makes me really nervous... talking to teachers that I had when i was in high school. How scary is that? HAHA! It's just intimidating because i feel like i can't mess up. even though they are teachers and know exactly how it is. Ok its not really that bad. i love it. I never thought i would be teaching MY teachers children though. how fun is that. My kindergarten teacher was the best!!!!! I just wish G could be in her class too! I interned for her and she is still amazing. She is so fun with the kiddos. I just love her to death. So drop dead diva tonight wasnt what i was expecting at all. i was kinda bored with it. but army wives was very good! I love my tv. Both of the kids were in bed by 8! Not just in bed.... but asleep! That is very odd for these 2. that never happens. So let me tell you about the PBR! How fun was that? totally fun. i loved it. The best part was flint the clown/comedian guy. he was too funny. Another good part was the beginning when they do all the fireworks and stuff anyways the bull riders were all coming out. well there were these fake bulls on the chutes that would blow smoke or fire well when they introduced the guys it would just blow smoke. well they introduced one from oklahoma and the bull blew fire.. .well it probably scorched the bull rider that was walking past it... blew his hat off and everything. I have it on video, its kinda funny but i bet he was mad. you know what else funny happened? so you know the camera guys get in the bull riders faces afer they ride to get their reactions and stuff. well i was thinkin man thats gotta be annoying! well at the end when Lostroh won he was goin up on the big thing in the middle and the camera guy was walking backwards... he ran into the ramp and fell. it was kinda funny. kinda sad but kinda funny. I'm sure the camera guys make plenty of money that people can laugh at them if they trip right?
So i've come to the conclusion that I'm perfect...... wonder if everyone thinks they are perfect or if its just me? I can't lie because i have a guilty conscience. I can't cheat cuz thats wrong. I dont do anything bad cuz thats stupid. So I'm perfect right? ok maybe not buuuuuuut I do kinda think i'm a pretty good gal. If I think anyone is mad at me... I kinda get depressed. I dont know why. It's their loss. I HATE for people to be mad at me! But why would anyone be mad at me? I'm perfect.... HAHAHAHAH JK! But really i was getting out of the shower earlier and i was thinking... you know why I'm a good kid? because my mommy and daddy made me be! One time when i was like 5 or 6 or 7 or 8..... ? I stole quarters out of my mom and dads stash to buy ALL of my sisters beef jerkey.... along with all the kids on the bus' beef jerkey.... and everyone at school's beef jerkey (this was before i was perfect haha) ..... yea around $100 or $200 maybe..... why would i do that? BECAUSE I LOVED BEEF JERKY!!!! and i still do. but i don't spend that much. I'm not even sure if i spent it all on beef jerkey.... but anyways. Here's why I'm a good kid..... because when they found out i did it... I didnt get in trouble for stealing the money... I got in trouble for lying about it! I dont think i ever got in trouble for stealing it. They knew i knew it was wrong or i wouldnt have lied about it. Yea I think I got my butt beat for lying about it. Thats why I'm a good kid! I had good parents. Wait I HAVE good parents! they still feed me and do stuff for me and this and that. Not everyone is as lucky as me :) You know what is very weird to me though. All of my best friends from school.... have parents just like mine! We are a lucky crew. The water musta been good that year... haha! OK so i have a new favorite song. isnt it funny that everytime i write a blog i have a new favorite song? You ready to hear what it is? Its a song called "Losing" by Tenth Avenue North. I'm actually listening to it right now... make me kinda emotional. If you've never heard it you should hear it. I kinda wanna bust out singing it... but everyones asleep. It's a very touching song. Here's what he says: "Oh Father won't you forgive them... they dont know what they been doing. Oh Father give me grace to forgive them, cuz i feel like the one losing." You guys may not know this.... but i'm a very emotional person! I cry over everything. I cry at big events when the army people come out and hold the flags! I'm pathetic! I'm a whimp! I really am! I could go to funeral of a person i don't even know and i would bawl like a baby! This song makes me realize a lot of things. I really encourage you to listen. Hating someone doesnt get you anything! I have hatred in my heart for people (more than one) and I'm the one losing. You're not supposed to hate people. But sometimes you give it your all to get along with people and they don't accept it. In one case, I tried to get along....... But i am in the wrong... I talk.... i talk a lot. i don't spread rumors or nothing but sometimes people fool people and make them think they are perfect (like me lol)! And they are the exact opposite. It's when people are around that they are perfect... but behind closed doors or in a different atmosphere they are a total different person. There are some people i just dont understand. don't you wish you knew what people thought. all the time. some people i might be a little scared to be in their mind though. haha. You know on tv they have those bubbles above their head about what they are thinking.... why can't we have bubbles... haha. In case you don't know this.... i am very weird. i have very strange thoughts. but i love them. I love my brain. You know whats very weird of me. So I'm in high school right... playing basketball, softball, cross country, track, ffa, stuco... this that and everything else! And I never wanted to go to college for any of that. And up to this summer I havent wanted to do ANY of that. Well this summer somehow I started wanting to do all this stuff. I wanna play ball! I wanna own something. I wanna run a business. I wanna do this i wanna do that. Why is this just happening this summer? I'm too old now. But here's whats funny, so you watch the olympics right and they are doing the 100m and i'm like D really? I could do that!!! He said whatever. Why arent you on tv? i said ok well maybe i can't but someone can. So i see their times what was it like 9? or 11? anyways so i go get my little book full of sports stuff and i'm like see! Lauren ran it in like 11 or 13? (i cant remember now) but i'm like she could do it! He's like then why isnt she? I'm like ummm hello! We all have kids now and are a little bigger than we were then. But you know what? The olympians have had kids too. thats no excuse! Oh you know what else though. i've came up with a new olympic event..... its a race on rocks! barefoot! how funny would that be. i definitly can't walk on rocks. i can't even go barefoot in the house. i hate feet especially my own. And you know what else. They have race walking in the olympics! now thats funny! i never got to see it but I HAVE TO SEE IT! me and sara snell shoulda been on that! We used to practice race walking everyday to the gym in high school. it was so funny. the funny part was the people behind us laughing at our giggly butts! did i say giggly butts? i think i meant jiggly butts.... hahaha! anyways i'm pretty sure we coulda run that. you know what... i think ill look up a video right now! I have to see this! ok youtube was the best thing ever invented! the olympic race walking is about to begin. AHHHH AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!! really? thats not walking thats running. Wonder who judges and how they judge if they break out into a run...... i know the differences between my run and walk but i dont know that i could tell if someone else was running instead of walkin fast. It looks to me like they are running... maybe its in fast motion. i should let it load a little more. You know whats sad? did you see the girl that tripped...... AGAIN! 4 Years ago she tripped over a girl that fell. This time a girl clipped her with her knee and she fell again. talk about depressing. that had to suck. i felt so sorry for her. You know what? I may be running out of things to say. I just realized that. OK i just have to say.... these people are running..... thats ridiculous. Why is this a sport at the olympics? HAHAHAHAH! I'd have to go with ummmmm maybe i wouldnt win.... cuz if they are really walking... thats pretty fast. and i can go like 30m and be tired... its a good leg workout for sure. i couldnt imagine going a whole 400m. Ok im listening to another song now. called suitcases by dara maclean. so good! i love inspiring songs! I have to start it over and tell you what she says... "how can you move when theyre weighing you down... what can you do when your tied to the crowd... you carry your burdens, heavy like gravity... just let them go now.... there's freedom in release..." Thats for sure. I love music! i have headphones on my head and its blaring in my ears! and i love it! "You can't run when your holding suitcases, its a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart lay down your guard you dont have to be afraid. just breathe your love can be lifted, theres a better way when you know your forgiven, open up your heart lay down your guard you dont have to be afraid" I'm tellin you right now when you have a burden on you and you let it go! Its amazing! like she says... Theres freedom in release! Its absolutly amazing! You know who i really miss? Need to Breathe. they were my favorite band for so long! Their voices are just fascinating. And its that perfect voice that i loooooove. I can fall in love with a voice so easily.... thats why i married dustin... his voice on the phone is aaaaaamazing! haha. You know what i just realized.... when i talk about church i always say... "Trinity has the best praise and worship i have EVER been to in my life..." i just realized its because its LOUD!!! i love loud music. But really they do. if you ever want to hear good praise and worship go to trinity in siloam. its amazing. very touching. If you've never felt the holy spirit... go to church there..... It will happen! it WILL happen! I have this problem with my ears... sometimes i its like someone slams on breaks... or maybe like the radio loses signal.. and its static-y.... but its only sometimes... like i was at a need to breathe concert one time (but i had a cold) and my ears started doing that. like i will have to put my finger in one of them so no sound goes in that ear and i'm good. You know my favorite part about music? The parts where the music stops... and the person keeps singing! Like you know maybe the drums still go but the loud guitars and stuff stops and all you can hear is voice.... theres a carrie underwood song that she does that on... thats my favorite part. I bet you guys are bored now... i feel like i've been typing for hours! i love to type on a real computer its so much better then the ipad. i finally got my internet fixed. im so happy! You know what else i loved! HAHAHA! I'm listenin to adele now... i love adele... you know why... cuz apparently shes been heart broke (poor girl) but all of her songs are amazing. and of course her voice. but i love heart break songs. They make me happy instead of sad. isnt that funny. You know those songs i really love? the ones that remind me of stuff (i think i mentioned this in an earlier blog). I love people like cyndi lauper and alannis morisette (however you spell it). theres this cyndi lauper song i really love.... but i can't remember what its called.... hmmmmm. i have to find it. Somebody help me here. whats it called. so apparently its not a popular song cuz i cant find it. Oh i think i found it!!!!! Nope that wasnt it. really?? why can i not find it. i can hear it in my head. Ok "cuz i'd miss you.." thats all i can hear... this is gonna drive me crazy until i figure it out. i can hear her singing the chorus... its really fast.... ahhhH! maybe ill find it later... I just remember somethin i was gonna share with my blog family... lol! if you've read it this far you are to the juicy part...... You know why I think i'm good? first of all... I've never smoked... ANYTHING! Not even a cigarette. i remember when me and alicia martin tried to roll up hay in a piece of paper and smoke it.... i didnt even get close. me and sara went out one night and bought cigars.... she kept telling me not to inhale.. .. i had no idea what she meant. i was scared so i just help it like i was cool. I've only been drunk one time... and guess when that was? HAHAHA! this is a funny story. my dear lovely friend and i (and someone else) went to calf fry in stillwater. wasnt that fun.... yea it was... the bad part was... we were leaving for our senior trip at 2 the next morning! so everyone on the bus was trying to sleep... and here i was.... HEEYYYYYYY!!! hahaha. thats the only time i've ever been drunk. EVER! i've drank a little i guess but not much at all. i hate alcohol. its disgusting. if its covered up with enough fruity its alright. here's the really mushy part.... I didnt have sex until i got married! How odd is that? I married a sex addict and he actually waited til marriage!!!! (thats cuz he was getting it other places) I was with a guy (not the sex addict) for TWO YEARS!!! and we never had sex! That right there is a man! A very good man. and i was very bad to him. ok im not perfect.... i did 1 bad thing. i was very mean to him after i broke up with him. We were engaged... but didnt get married... cuz i married a jerk moron instead. what a lovely decision i made. The ONLY bad choice i've ever made in my life. (well, maybe) and it really wasnt that bad of a choice cuz look at the angel baby i got out of it! Ok so it was a bad choice but i got something good out of it. Lots of good out of it actually. made me more independent.. taught me to not let ANYBODY tell me i am NOTHIN!!!! because you know what i AM SOMETHING!!!! some people may not realize that. but i AM SOMEBODY! Sometimes people need to be told they are somebody.... if you have a friend in a relationship that you know is bad... and the man is bad.... make sure she knows SHE IS SOMEBODY!!!!! she is not a NOBODY! If you are a nobody to somebody.... then they dont deserve you. if they make you feel like a nobody i mean. i'm confusing myself with all this body talk. hahahah. Ok so maybe i should go back and cut all the middle of this out cuz the beginning is good and the end is good. Just like a book... the middle always stink because it has too many words and not enough pictures! Wow guys its 12:30! I still need to know what that song is called? wonder if case sidra brotha kingfisher is awake? i know she would know. Alright guess i better get to bed. Tomorrow will be a loooooooong day if i dont! If you know the name of that song please text me because i will lay in bed all night trying to think of the rest of the words! I really need to hear that song right now! but thats all i can think of.... "I'd miss you... ohhhhhh i'd miss you." maybe she says something something something but all you want is the other.... maybe not too. hahah GOOD NIGHT ALL! HAPPY WORK DAY TOMORROW! ENJOY READING!
So i've come to the conclusion that I'm perfect...... wonder if everyone thinks they are perfect or if its just me? I can't lie because i have a guilty conscience. I can't cheat cuz thats wrong. I dont do anything bad cuz thats stupid. So I'm perfect right? ok maybe not buuuuuuut I do kinda think i'm a pretty good gal. If I think anyone is mad at me... I kinda get depressed. I dont know why. It's their loss. I HATE for people to be mad at me! But why would anyone be mad at me? I'm perfect.... HAHAHAHAH JK! But really i was getting out of the shower earlier and i was thinking... you know why I'm a good kid? because my mommy and daddy made me be! One time when i was like 5 or 6 or 7 or 8..... ? I stole quarters out of my mom and dads stash to buy ALL of my sisters beef jerkey.... along with all the kids on the bus' beef jerkey.... and everyone at school's beef jerkey (this was before i was perfect haha) ..... yea around $100 or $200 maybe..... why would i do that? BECAUSE I LOVED BEEF JERKY!!!! and i still do. but i don't spend that much. I'm not even sure if i spent it all on beef jerkey.... but anyways. Here's why I'm a good kid..... because when they found out i did it... I didnt get in trouble for stealing the money... I got in trouble for lying about it! I dont think i ever got in trouble for stealing it. They knew i knew it was wrong or i wouldnt have lied about it. Yea I think I got my butt beat for lying about it. Thats why I'm a good kid! I had good parents. Wait I HAVE good parents! they still feed me and do stuff for me and this and that. Not everyone is as lucky as me :) You know what is very weird to me though. All of my best friends from school.... have parents just like mine! We are a lucky crew. The water musta been good that year... haha! OK so i have a new favorite song. isnt it funny that everytime i write a blog i have a new favorite song? You ready to hear what it is? Its a song called "Losing" by Tenth Avenue North. I'm actually listening to it right now... make me kinda emotional. If you've never heard it you should hear it. I kinda wanna bust out singing it... but everyones asleep. It's a very touching song. Here's what he says: "Oh Father won't you forgive them... they dont know what they been doing. Oh Father give me grace to forgive them, cuz i feel like the one losing." You guys may not know this.... but i'm a very emotional person! I cry over everything. I cry at big events when the army people come out and hold the flags! I'm pathetic! I'm a whimp! I really am! I could go to funeral of a person i don't even know and i would bawl like a baby! This song makes me realize a lot of things. I really encourage you to listen. Hating someone doesnt get you anything! I have hatred in my heart for people (more than one) and I'm the one losing. You're not supposed to hate people. But sometimes you give it your all to get along with people and they don't accept it. In one case, I tried to get along....... But i am in the wrong... I talk.... i talk a lot. i don't spread rumors or nothing but sometimes people fool people and make them think they are perfect (like me lol)! And they are the exact opposite. It's when people are around that they are perfect... but behind closed doors or in a different atmosphere they are a total different person. There are some people i just dont understand. don't you wish you knew what people thought. all the time. some people i might be a little scared to be in their mind though. haha. You know on tv they have those bubbles above their head about what they are thinking.... why can't we have bubbles... haha. In case you don't know this.... i am very weird. i have very strange thoughts. but i love them. I love my brain. You know whats very weird of me. So I'm in high school right... playing basketball, softball, cross country, track, ffa, stuco... this that and everything else! And I never wanted to go to college for any of that. And up to this summer I havent wanted to do ANY of that. Well this summer somehow I started wanting to do all this stuff. I wanna play ball! I wanna own something. I wanna run a business. I wanna do this i wanna do that. Why is this just happening this summer? I'm too old now. But here's whats funny, so you watch the olympics right and they are doing the 100m and i'm like D really? I could do that!!! He said whatever. Why arent you on tv? i said ok well maybe i can't but someone can. So i see their times what was it like 9? or 11? anyways so i go get my little book full of sports stuff and i'm like see! Lauren ran it in like 11 or 13? (i cant remember now) but i'm like she could do it! He's like then why isnt she? I'm like ummm hello! We all have kids now and are a little bigger than we were then. But you know what? The olympians have had kids too. thats no excuse! Oh you know what else though. i've came up with a new olympic event..... its a race on rocks! barefoot! how funny would that be. i definitly can't walk on rocks. i can't even go barefoot in the house. i hate feet especially my own. And you know what else. They have race walking in the olympics! now thats funny! i never got to see it but I HAVE TO SEE IT! me and sara snell shoulda been on that! We used to practice race walking everyday to the gym in high school. it was so funny. the funny part was the people behind us laughing at our giggly butts! did i say giggly butts? i think i meant jiggly butts.... hahaha! anyways i'm pretty sure we coulda run that. you know what... i think ill look up a video right now! I have to see this! ok youtube was the best thing ever invented! the olympic race walking is about to begin. AHHHH AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!! really? thats not walking thats running. Wonder who judges and how they judge if they break out into a run...... i know the differences between my run and walk but i dont know that i could tell if someone else was running instead of walkin fast. It looks to me like they are running... maybe its in fast motion. i should let it load a little more. You know whats sad? did you see the girl that tripped...... AGAIN! 4 Years ago she tripped over a girl that fell. This time a girl clipped her with her knee and she fell again. talk about depressing. that had to suck. i felt so sorry for her. You know what? I may be running out of things to say. I just realized that. OK i just have to say.... these people are running..... thats ridiculous. Why is this a sport at the olympics? HAHAHAHAH! I'd have to go with ummmmm maybe i wouldnt win.... cuz if they are really walking... thats pretty fast. and i can go like 30m and be tired... its a good leg workout for sure. i couldnt imagine going a whole 400m. Ok im listening to another song now. called suitcases by dara maclean. so good! i love inspiring songs! I have to start it over and tell you what she says... "how can you move when theyre weighing you down... what can you do when your tied to the crowd... you carry your burdens, heavy like gravity... just let them go now.... there's freedom in release..." Thats for sure. I love music! i have headphones on my head and its blaring in my ears! and i love it! "You can't run when your holding suitcases, its a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart lay down your guard you dont have to be afraid. just breathe your love can be lifted, theres a better way when you know your forgiven, open up your heart lay down your guard you dont have to be afraid" I'm tellin you right now when you have a burden on you and you let it go! Its amazing! like she says... Theres freedom in release! Its absolutly amazing! You know who i really miss? Need to Breathe. they were my favorite band for so long! Their voices are just fascinating. And its that perfect voice that i loooooove. I can fall in love with a voice so easily.... thats why i married dustin... his voice on the phone is aaaaaamazing! haha. You know what i just realized.... when i talk about church i always say... "Trinity has the best praise and worship i have EVER been to in my life..." i just realized its because its LOUD!!! i love loud music. But really they do. if you ever want to hear good praise and worship go to trinity in siloam. its amazing. very touching. If you've never felt the holy spirit... go to church there..... It will happen! it WILL happen! I have this problem with my ears... sometimes i its like someone slams on breaks... or maybe like the radio loses signal.. and its static-y.... but its only sometimes... like i was at a need to breathe concert one time (but i had a cold) and my ears started doing that. like i will have to put my finger in one of them so no sound goes in that ear and i'm good. You know my favorite part about music? The parts where the music stops... and the person keeps singing! Like you know maybe the drums still go but the loud guitars and stuff stops and all you can hear is voice.... theres a carrie underwood song that she does that on... thats my favorite part. I bet you guys are bored now... i feel like i've been typing for hours! i love to type on a real computer its so much better then the ipad. i finally got my internet fixed. im so happy! You know what else i loved! HAHAHA! I'm listenin to adele now... i love adele... you know why... cuz apparently shes been heart broke (poor girl) but all of her songs are amazing. and of course her voice. but i love heart break songs. They make me happy instead of sad. isnt that funny. You know those songs i really love? the ones that remind me of stuff (i think i mentioned this in an earlier blog). I love people like cyndi lauper and alannis morisette (however you spell it). theres this cyndi lauper song i really love.... but i can't remember what its called.... hmmmmm. i have to find it. Somebody help me here. whats it called. so apparently its not a popular song cuz i cant find it. Oh i think i found it!!!!! Nope that wasnt it. really?? why can i not find it. i can hear it in my head. Ok "cuz i'd miss you.." thats all i can hear... this is gonna drive me crazy until i figure it out. i can hear her singing the chorus... its really fast.... ahhhH! maybe ill find it later... I just remember somethin i was gonna share with my blog family... lol! if you've read it this far you are to the juicy part...... You know why I think i'm good? first of all... I've never smoked... ANYTHING! Not even a cigarette. i remember when me and alicia martin tried to roll up hay in a piece of paper and smoke it.... i didnt even get close. me and sara went out one night and bought cigars.... she kept telling me not to inhale.. .. i had no idea what she meant. i was scared so i just help it like i was cool. I've only been drunk one time... and guess when that was? HAHAHA! this is a funny story. my dear lovely friend and i (and someone else) went to calf fry in stillwater. wasnt that fun.... yea it was... the bad part was... we were leaving for our senior trip at 2 the next morning! so everyone on the bus was trying to sleep... and here i was.... HEEYYYYYYY!!! hahaha. thats the only time i've ever been drunk. EVER! i've drank a little i guess but not much at all. i hate alcohol. its disgusting. if its covered up with enough fruity its alright. here's the really mushy part.... I didnt have sex until i got married! How odd is that? I married a sex addict and he actually waited til marriage!!!! (thats cuz he was getting it other places) I was with a guy (not the sex addict) for TWO YEARS!!! and we never had sex! That right there is a man! A very good man. and i was very bad to him. ok im not perfect.... i did 1 bad thing. i was very mean to him after i broke up with him. We were engaged... but didnt get married... cuz i married a jerk moron instead. what a lovely decision i made. The ONLY bad choice i've ever made in my life. (well, maybe) and it really wasnt that bad of a choice cuz look at the angel baby i got out of it! Ok so it was a bad choice but i got something good out of it. Lots of good out of it actually. made me more independent.. taught me to not let ANYBODY tell me i am NOTHIN!!!! because you know what i AM SOMETHING!!!! some people may not realize that. but i AM SOMEBODY! Sometimes people need to be told they are somebody.... if you have a friend in a relationship that you know is bad... and the man is bad.... make sure she knows SHE IS SOMEBODY!!!!! she is not a NOBODY! If you are a nobody to somebody.... then they dont deserve you. if they make you feel like a nobody i mean. i'm confusing myself with all this body talk. hahahah. Ok so maybe i should go back and cut all the middle of this out cuz the beginning is good and the end is good. Just like a book... the middle always stink because it has too many words and not enough pictures! Wow guys its 12:30! I still need to know what that song is called? wonder if case sidra brotha kingfisher is awake? i know she would know. Alright guess i better get to bed. Tomorrow will be a loooooooong day if i dont! If you know the name of that song please text me because i will lay in bed all night trying to think of the rest of the words! I really need to hear that song right now! but thats all i can think of.... "I'd miss you... ohhhhhh i'd miss you." maybe she says something something something but all you want is the other.... maybe not too. hahah GOOD NIGHT ALL! HAPPY WORK DAY TOMORROW! ENJOY READING!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
I had this dream last night I think everyone should know about. It was honestly an amazing dream.... First of all I dreamed I was assigned to take care of a special needs guy. Well he was around my age and there wasn't much wrong with him. Mostly he couldn't walk. And maybe his speech was a little delayed. Well I was supposed to make him walk and I always carried him... Well we fell in love.... Hahahahahahaha! But anyways after that I had another dream... I was the special needs person. It was the coolest feeling ever. Honestly. I can remember someone telling me what I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to walk because I couldn't. Well my brain was telling me I knew how to walk but when I stood up and tried I smacked my face in the floor. I laid there and bawled because I couldn't remember how to walk. And then the dream goes on and turns out I have a messed up face... Like every morning I have to go to a Facial place and they put that fake face stuff on my face.... I could only see out of one eye. Well I got out to open a gate and somehow part of my fake teeth ripped off but it was hanging there and I was ripping my face off.....then I woke up!!!! When I woke up I was scared BUT I was fascinated! Don't you wish you knew what went on the minds of special needs people. Wonder if it really goes thru there mind that... I can walk its so easy.... But they just can't.... Ya know what I mean? I know that they are people that God made too! Someone needs to understand them! Does anyone understand them? For some reason I really wanna study up on that. There was a girl in my daughters class last year in a wheelchair.... Well the other day me and g were driving and I said G you know that Jesus sees you all the time... Jesus knows what you are doing and when your being bad. And I said if you wanna go to heaven you better be good!!! Then we started talkin about that girl. I said you know what g in heaven everybody is perfect! Even (girls name here) can walk and run in heaven..... I said if you wanna see (girls name) run and jump and have fun in heaven then you better be good!!!! Haha kinda a funny conversation but it was meaningful. Ok more blog later. I just Couldn't go to sleep cuz I was thinkin about that dream!!!! It was amazing!!!!
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