Now I remember why I always stay busy til late at night and why I always let G stay up past her bedtime and don't put her in bed unless I go to bed too.... Gahhhh! For one it's boring alone.... Lol. For 2 I If I stay busy I forget that I'm alone because G's company is enough for me, but 8 at night and she's in bed and it hits me that I'm alone... Ahhhhhhhh!!!! I don't care really I don't, but the past few months I've stayed so busy I haven't even had time to sit down and think. Then tonight I finally think it's going to be peaceful and I hate it. It's ridiculous. Too peaceful. Pity parties happen when I get peace....but you know what, it will make me go to bed early and catch up in my sleep. Finally. Haha! I try to find something to watch on tv and I hate it all. So I, watching G's shows imagine that... Ha! But you know what... I have it made... There are people who have lost husbands to death, there are people who have never been married..... I'm lucky because I've had that chance and now I know more about what to look for or what not to look for and the things that are red flags and lies and stupid stuff that people do. Anyways I have to say sometimes it's nice it have male companions, just someone to talk to because men think differently then women. I have the 7 best friends in the world that are girls and I can share stuff with them I can share with no one else, but sometimes there are things that men can tell you that seem to answer everything. I mean seriously. Men can judge other men better than a woman can. Men know what other men are up to. All men's minds are wired alike therefore a man is a better person to get advice about a man on... Haha! Ok that was weird, but seriously. Men can be some of the best friends in the world..... Plus I love men. Ya know ever since I was like 4 and opening the gates for the hot feed man or hurrying to the milk barn to see the hot milk man..... Oh my gosh I'm ridiculous..... HAHAHAHAHA! Ok well see I can always get myself away from my pity party by getting some humor in there..... Ok I'm done being a baby time to go to bed!