OH MAN! Isn't it crazy how fast christmas came this year. I mean thanksgiving was over then all of a sudden it was christmas. I was terrible at gift shopping this year. Maybe I will do better next year except next year it will probably come quicker. I hear the older you get the faster it goes :( how sad. Ok so for Christmas my husband bought me the movie "pitch perfect" because i tried to rent it 2 nights ago and they didnt have it. well he bought it. It was so nice to come home from dinner and sit down and we watched it together while the kids played and there was some funny parts i had to rewind for them to watch cause it was so funny. i absolulty love that movie!!!!! it was so good. anyways i rented the movie the cabin in the woods the other night it was SOOOOOOOO WEIRD!!! DO NOT RENT IT!!!!!!!!!! unless you want to be weirded out... thats up to you! haha. So I've been thinking a lot lately... everytime i look at g i think.. oh my gosh... she came out of me.... i made her!!!!!! how weird is that. she is so beautiful, she definitly has her faults but i could just stare at her all day because I MADE HER!!!! i mean God made her... BUT i made her... how weird. But really you should take time to stare at your children sometime... you will be amazed! It makes me appreciate her so much more when I sit and think about all I've been through.. for her... all the things I avoid... for her... all the things I don't do... for her! I've come so far to be here now and she is probably what got me thru and kept me sain... because i've been thru insanity and back! and now i'm even better because of it. My husband can definitly make me mad sometimes... BUT when I think of what I've been thru i can get over it really fast! I will never let a man run over me again and never let a man pull me down so far to make me feel like i'm nothing. i may be nothing... but to someone i am something... to Gracie.. I am the world!!!! Praise God for her! She may tell me I'm mean a hundred times a day... but in the end she still loves me.. no matter what! It's like children are little Jesus'... hahah sounds weird BUT they love everyone and no matter what happens they still love you! Amazes me everyday! Ok now on to my next story of the day! We bought G a hello kitty karaoke machine... you can plug your ipod, ipad, iphone or put a cd into it! and it turns up pretty loud... so you know who will be playing on it when she's home alone? MEEE ME ME!!!! I'm so excited for D to go to work tomorrow! You can put 2 microphones in it too! So i need another one so me and g can sing together. otherwise she will not get a turn! hahaha. But she is pretty good. I may upload a video to facebook later cuz she is a really good singer! haha. this is how professional singers start out ya know. for a 4 year old I'd say shes started off pretty good! So TWO WEEKS OFF FROM COLLEGE CLASSES!!!!!!!!!! hard part is after being out of the routine for 2 weeks it may be hard to get back in the routine... maybe i should take a break from my masters... hahahah jk! i have 6 hours down and 24 to go! That means I'm not toooo far. I was closer than i was when i started. always gotta look on the positive side! You know what... i wanna be a little kid again! When you're a kid all you wanna do is grow up and now that im a grown up i just wanna be a kid again!!!!!!!!!!!! life was so much easier. I wish G could be my sister too. that would be fun! and P could be my brother.... lol! I just now seen this show called killer karaoke coming on tru tv next! I'm kinda excited. i may be singing and my husband will be mad at me! HAHAHAH! So really i need to clean my house up. i need more space. i need a bigger house. someone came and looked at the house on saturday... and it was very very clean BUT like in the corners its cluttery.... Everything is piled in the corners because we have NO CLOSETS!!!!!!!!!! I need to clean it up! anyways. i guess thats it! MERRY CHRISTMAS! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!!!!!

DO YOU SEE THAT?????

This is from my professor on my week 5 assignment which is an observation of a child and then observation of group of kids: "

This is a great paper. The quick notes and write up were extensive and complete. You were able to integrate your new knowledge in the appropriate parts of this paper. You met the rubric criteria for graduate work and beyond. You were able to support your conclusions with key principles from our texts. You were reflective on your work. This was a great demonstration of your learning thus far."

Sorry had to put it big to make sure i read it right!!!!!!!!!!!! That is my first 4/4 I've got on a writing assignment in this class!!!!!!!!! My first one was a 3/4 then a 3.5/4.... then a 3.8/4... it was anything but a 4/4 and i didn't know she actually gave 100% so right now I'm ecstatic at this!!! This is amazing. Im happy happy happy!!!!! Alright! That's all! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Ok wait now I have to add to this.... Look at this........ This is on the discussion for last week!!!! AHHH! I've never got a 4/4 on the discussion either wow wowowowowowow! haha here it is "

Contributions exceed assigned criteria; frequently prompted further discussion of a topic; took on a leadership role providing direction and extension of topics; demonstrated an awareness of peers’ needs; demonstrated critical thinking to analyze and relate key points; supported personal information with content from course videos or required readings; used creditable sources in addition to course videos and/or required readings; offered specific, constructive, and supportive feedback to extend colleagues’ thinking; contributed to content by bringing in additional resources or experiences; provided clear, concise opinions and ideas with no spelling or grammatical errors."

Am i reading these things correctly???? HAHA!

Let me tell you how my mind works!!!

Alright here it goes... so Im sitting here doing homework... thinking i should write my quick writes up now and the final observation when i get out of the shower. So i get in the shower and i'm thinking about this violence right? I had a dream last night about getting shot but i think we were at church. Anyways so then I put shampoo in my hair and im still thinking about this when all of a sudden.............OUUUUCHHHH!!!! ouch ouch ouch ouch..... i have soap in my eye! then i start thinking... why in the world would they make something that makes you want to pull your eyeball out and throw it away!!!!!!! so then i start thinking... you know what... these people that do harmful things to others.... should be put in a mental place where they squirt soap in their eyes... and just when they think the hurt is gone pour the soap in there again!!! Because just like what they did to those people... killed their kids.. or kill anyone.. he hurt their family.. and just when they think the pain is gone.. it comes back! The pain never goes away when you lose a loved one. So keep squirting that soap in there eye! HAHAHAHHAHAH! ok i may be stupid. but i was also thinkin about making them work in an onion restaurant and all they can do is cut onions! hahahahahah. and that was really stupid, so ill just stick with squirting soap in there eyes! But really my eye is still burning and i've been out of the shower for 10 minutes. I guess it would take a lot of money to buy the soap though huh. man im evil. anyways but really this world has gone crazy. do you think God should be let back into schools? ummm yea! I think we should post a sign on the front of our school that says "God is welcome here" You know why? Because he is! My class says the pledge of allegience and guess what? we say "UNDER GOD!!!!!!" We have a moment of silence, where we think or PRAY about our day! i mean come on! Maybe ill just post a sign on my door that says "God is welcome in my classroom" (I will ask permission first hahahahah) I'm only kidding but seriously. God is allowed in my classroom. My children talk about God and Jesus more than any class I've ever had! And i don't even bring it up! THEY DO! Praise the Lord for that! anyways. i should finish my paper now but guess what? I dont want to!!!! But guess what else? I have next week and THEN IM DONE!!!! until January 6 of course. but I'll have 6 hours down towards my masters. i can't wait to be done. its such a hassle. I kinda wanna quit.... ok not really. I have really learned a lot of stuff already. and researched stuff i already knew and learned more about it. it's kinda fun. It would be funner if i could get the work done before the last minute. you know sunday night i like to go to bed early, but i'm always up late doing homework! (or writing a blog haha) It seems like sunday nights is when i write a blog post.... i guess i need to procrastinate more so i do this. Today when I was drivin I was thinkin of all the things I'd like to say... but i'm not just gonna put them on facebook. Because have you seen the comments people have been making lately? About the guns and stuff? People will post something which is there opinion and someone will just automatically fight or argue or disagree and attack them.... kinda crazy... so i'd be scared to put anything on facebook about it. But I will just be honest, I think Monday will be a scary day for everyone! I'm kind of scared to go to school.... It's kind of creepy when something like this happens and now every school will be worried about this! One person did it, of course its going to happen again.... maybe we should ALL pray that it wont!!!!!!!!! Maybe that would stop it. Ok let me tell you this... by no means should our guns be taken away! I've had a gun all my life! Since I was like 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or something. Ha i really dont know. But i've had one forever. When I was very young my dad bought me a real gun a 243 and i made payments to him like every week.... i still have that gun and several more. Now, me and my mom had the conversation about the big military assault rifles that have clips that hold like 50 rounds........ now that right there is why it's so easy to kill so many people at one time.... no one needs a gun that holds that many bullets.... BUT let me tell you.... D has an AR 15 and he bought a clip with it that holds like 40 bullets... and I have to admit.. it is FUN to shoot!!!! But by the time you shoot 10 your arm hurts to bad that you never want to shoot a gun again. hahah. but really.... no one needs a gun that shoots that many times! I say they should definitly limit those and outlaw those. not even make them. I have a 22 that holds like 10... thats enough. If it takes me 10 shots to hit a squirrel then i need to take a shooting class or something. hahaha! Next, well i won't say what i'm thinking next it might be illegal... hahah. but i really think that the principal or counselor or someone in the building should have a gun... right? They have to protect a whole school! But of course then some psycho would become principal and kill everyone in the school.... or there would be an accident and the gun would go off and shoot someone and people would say... "thats why we don't have guns in school." I guess I will use God as my shield! If it's my time to go I will be praying to God to watch over and protect my children and family and if I die, so be it I guess. At least, God was the last person and the NEXT person I will talk to! Praise God for that eternal life in heaven. I don't want to die of course, but if its my time, its my time right.... Anyways, say a special prayer for all the teachers tonight... you know I'm sure we're all freakin out about having to go to school tomorrow. And definitly prayers for the Connecticut people....

confession......

Ok I must confess, I am the biggest baby ever!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! These past few days I have bawled so many times! It seems like everyone is dying! Although not very many are. I recently started following this page called Loving Londona and she was pregnant but the mom had stuff wrong with her and the baby had stuff wrong with it... not sure what, but they knew the baby would die when it was born, they wanted her to terminate the baby but she wouldn't, so she ended up having the baby, well she had the baby on Friday and we got to follow it... and she had a birthing plan.. since she knew the baby was going to die. You should like the page on facebook. its amazing! I have cried over that a thousand times. Everytime i look at the pics i just bawl. Then, another person from the community died, I didn't know him personally but i know the family. I cry everytime i think about it. Why did God take him? I know i know a reason for everything but sometimes its hard to grasp things like this. I couldn't imagine being the family. I feel like God is getting closer... and touching more and more lives. I have had this strong feeling in me lately. When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was go to G's room to make sure she was still breathing. and then I start thinking what would I do without her? Things can happen in an instant. You should cherish the time you have with the ones you have while you have them! I am starting to worry too much about my children and family. I don't want anything to happen to any of them.... of course no one does, but you know one day they will die...... how sad is that. Why do people die? Why do we have to be sad? This is sad. really! I just posted a video on someones wall and i was laying in bed when i did it... while i was listening to it i started bawling... so i had to get out of bed and i thought hmm  might as well write a blog while im at it to let everyone know IM A SISSY!!!! People think I'm all rough and tough... but guess what I'm not... IM A BABY!!!!!!!!! I cry over the littlest things. Oh I have to tell you something else...... the other night......... seriousness took over... right? so i've been saying i want another baby i need a baby......... but at the same time thinking... no no no no! Well the other night (I think he was teasing) but Dustin said something........ (pretty much that we were going to have a baby.....) ok i can't explain this in anymore detail.... (HAHAHAHHAHAHA) BUT I started to think oh my gosh what if i really did get pregnant??? AHHH ! Then i was thinking what if this happens what if this happens? Well then I realized ummmm yea i dont think i want another baby! For 1: I don't know what I'd do if G wasnt my baby! My heart hurts to think about her not being the baby... i dont know why thats weird. People say I could share the love with another one... but i dont think i can. G means so much to me, I don't know how I'd handle a baby and not give all my love to her.... weird eh? and For 2: You know what........ this may sound weird... BUT this world has became INSANE!!!! I don't want to think about having another baby in this world and growing up fearing all the things that could happen to it.... There's too much.... The two we have are enough.. It scares me to think about when they get older..... I want the kids to be just like I was as a teenager. I didn't do the bad stuff and I had no urge to even try it!!! I don't want to have to fear that things could happen to them. I dont want to have to worry about what could happen..... see this freaks me out. I want them to stay little forever and not have to face the challenges that will come.... When they grow up I want them to come see us just like we go see our parents... and when they're 30 and 27 I still want to hold them like babies!!!!!!! This is depressing!!!!!!!! why do they have to get big.... The past 3 or 4 nights at bedtime Ill carry G like a baby to bed and hold her like a baby while i read to her...... she's been so sick and tired lately that she will actually let me hold her this way.... and she loves it. Now she keeps saying hold me like a baby! hahahahah. I could hold her like that and stare at her all day. I'm so thankful for the babies that I have and I don't think I have enough heart for another one. I've gave my heart away to three other kids that arent biologically mine....... and 1 that is mine..... Therefore I really have 4 kids already although I never see 2 of them but they still have my heart. See there I go crying again! GEE!!!!! BLOG LOOK WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fear them growing up to be like their d-a-d-d-y.................................. which is very scary. There needs to be ZERO more people like that in this world!!!!!! alright i won't start on that.... but one thing i urge to my child is lying is NOT OK!!!!!!! She knows that she will get beat for lying (not really beat but you know...) She WILL NOT i repeat WILL NOT turn out like that scumbag! I will beat it out of her if i have to! hahahahahah. alright anyways.... i have to pee and go to sleep now. i hope you enjoyed reading this and i hope it can sink in to some people. God is coming back some day.......so i hope you are saved..... You know what... even if I didn't beleive.... I would start beleiving just to see my loved ones again! You know something else.... this is weird... I had a dream about my uncle the other day.... (uncle Steve) It was so real... I thought he was here on earth with us,  when I woke up i cried but at the same time i was happy.... I'm so glad I got to see him again... if only in my dreams. There i go crying again....... That dream was like 2 weeks ago and it still feels real.... I was talking to him...... I miss him. You know what else my aunt showed me a picture of my mamaw the other day and she said I looked like her.... i wanted to cry but i didn't because i dont cry when people are around. But I wish I could find that group she was telling me about so I could see that again. I was young when my mamaw died but i remember her so well......... she was so beautiful! Just like Anita! Alright.... Stop Me STOP!!!! That's what the riley family reminds me of though, my uncle steve. Rob was the pastor at his funeral and he was at their house when i got there after he first died. He was so caring and loving for my family. Such a strong man and now he's going through losses hisself...... oh man I have to pee! Nighty night!

its beginning to look a lot like christmas!

alright so when i was kid it took forever for christmas to come around.... why does it come and go so fast now? everything goes by so fast! Its like I have 3 birthdays in one year... when its really been 3 years. its so fast. im getting so old. you know your old when the year starts to fly by! I don't think this happens until you have kids, and when you have kids you go from 21-80 in no time! Tomorrow ill probly be 80! You know i've been thinking of all these things i can get people for christmas and the cards and this and that... but ill prolly get none of it done because i feel like time just goes away that i have time to do nothin!
Alright let me tell you my weirdness... so i was putting christmas lights on the house.. my back hasnt been hurting in quite a while.. well i was getting on the ladder and when i got back down, when i moved my leg back to a certain spot.. it would shoot pain through my back.. well this went on for like 30 minutes, i walked like i was constipated because i didnt want my leg to go to far back... so then finally that stops and my knee starts hurting! so today my back is kinda better but my knee hurts and now my shoulder hurts! hahahahahah! i think my body may be confused. buuuuut let me tell ya i never had trouble until i had a baby! i had heard that the epidural will do bad things to your back... and now i beleive it. of course i wouldnt have had a baby without an epidural because that was awesome... but the back pain sucks also!
Anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have 3 weeks left of my second grad class.... see that just flew by! I thought id never get thru this class and finally im doing awesomer!!!!!!! I actually got a 3.8/4 on my last application! I was REALLY excited this time... because remember i've never made over a 3.5 on the applications in this class. now i'm up to a 3.8 and last week i think i did an amazing job on my observation! So hopefully i may get better than a 3.8! And let me tell you... I observed a kid in another class at our school.. and i had so much fun just following him around and writing stuff down! i did it for about 30 minutes and i want that as a new job! Is there a job where you can just follow a kid around and write down everything that they do? Cuz that was FUN!!!!!!!! It's so interesting! and you can tell so much more about a child when you are focusing on ONE child for 30 minutes. Alright so anyone want to offer me a job now? hahahhahaah!
Oh i have to tell you something funny. I can remember when i was a little kid i thought it was SSSSOOO COOLLL that there were left handed people. my cousin was left handed and i was in amazement everytime i watched him eat or write. so one time some people came over that were friends and i tried to eat breakfast with my left hand.... because i wanted to look cool! HAHAHAHAH! How funny is that. Hopefully they only looked at how cool my hand was and not how bad i was missing my mouth! ha im a dork. i can also remember when i was little that i would always think people were in the trees watching me! my dad would make me go get him some skoal out of the truck at night and i would be so scared! i would try to keep calm on the way out there, then on the way back to the house i would slam the truck door and RRRRUUUUUNNNN as fast as i could, and i would hold my scream in until i got right to the door... and when i grabbed the door handle i would scream so loud! haha! i can also remember in the day time when i would go outside i would sing, because i thought people were watching me. Sounds like i have some kind of syndrome.. you know those people who see things (or people). hahahahaha! I wasnt that bad, i never seen anybody i just thought people watched me.
So this weekend the kiddos went to branson with their nan and doodaw and at first i was thinking alright she's gonna go because i need to clean this house.. so when it comes time to go...... i started thinkin oh my gosh SHE CANT GO!!! luckily she didnt cry when they left or i probably woulda made her stay! well after i left i wanted to cry! hahah thats a long way for a baby to go away from her mommy! so friday i get one room cleaned all up and then i think ok ill do the other room tomorrow.... well saturday comes around and i spend all day with d on his land running the skid loader! and watching him run the skid loader.. we took turns. but it was FUN! then we went and got a load of hay and the dudes tractor ran out of diesel so we had to sit there and wait.... before i knew it, it was already 430......So then im thinking alright got all night to clean... so we get back and were going to go eat.... on the way to eat they called and said they were on their way back!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! yea i didnt get anything cleaned! but i had a great day with my hubby even though it was so windy and i dont think ive ever had that much dirt up my nose or in my ears....
SO let me tell you..... i've been assessing my kids at school this week and last week......... and the results are............ THEY ARE LEARNING SO MUCH!!!!!!!! YAYYYYY! i love when it comes time to assess them because you see how much they've learned so far...... This is the best part about being a teacher, when you get to see how much they've gained so far. Alright i gotta go here comes hubby.... he'll make fun of me if he sees me writing on my blog..... hahahahhahah!