OH MAN! Isn't it crazy how fast christmas came this year. I mean thanksgiving was over then all of a sudden it was christmas. I was terrible at gift shopping this year. Maybe I will do better next year except next year it will probably come quicker. I hear the older you get the faster it goes :( how sad. Ok so for Christmas my husband bought me the movie "pitch perfect" because i tried to rent it 2 nights ago and they didnt have it. well he bought it. It was so nice to come home from dinner and sit down and we watched it together while the kids played and there was some funny parts i had to rewind for them to watch cause it was so funny. i absolulty love that movie!!!!! it was so good. anyways i rented the movie the cabin in the woods the other night it was SOOOOOOOO WEIRD!!! DO NOT RENT IT!!!!!!!!!! unless you want to be weirded out... thats up to you! haha. So I've been thinking a lot lately... everytime i look at g i think.. oh my gosh... she came out of me.... i made her!!!!!! how weird is that. she is so beautiful, she definitly has her faults but i could just stare at her all day because I MADE HER!!!! i mean God made her... BUT i made her... how weird. But really you should take time to stare at your children sometime... you will be amazed! It makes me appreciate her so much more when I sit and think about all I've been through.. for her... all the things I avoid... for her... all the things I don't do... for her! I've come so far to be here now and she is probably what got me thru and kept me sain... because i've been thru insanity and back! and now i'm even better because of it. My husband can definitly make me mad sometimes... BUT when I think of what I've been thru i can get over it really fast! I will never let a man run over me again and never let a man pull me down so far to make me feel like i'm nothing. i may be nothing... but to someone i am something... to Gracie.. I am the world!!!! Praise God for her! She may tell me I'm mean a hundred times a day... but in the end she still loves me.. no matter what! It's like children are little Jesus'... hahah sounds weird BUT they love everyone and no matter what happens they still love you! Amazes me everyday! Ok now on to my next story of the day! We bought G a hello kitty karaoke machine... you can plug your ipod, ipad, iphone or put a cd into it! and it turns up pretty loud... so you know who will be playing on it when she's home alone? MEEE ME ME!!!! I'm so excited for D to go to work tomorrow! You can put 2 microphones in it too! So i need another one so me and g can sing together. otherwise she will not get a turn! hahaha. But she is pretty good. I may upload a video to facebook later cuz she is a really good singer! haha. this is how professional singers start out ya know. for a 4 year old I'd say shes started off pretty good! So TWO WEEKS OFF FROM COLLEGE CLASSES!!!!!!!!!! hard part is after being out of the routine for 2 weeks it may be hard to get back in the routine... maybe i should take a break from my masters... hahahah jk! i have 6 hours down and 24 to go! That means I'm not toooo far. I was closer than i was when i started. always gotta look on the positive side! You know what... i wanna be a little kid again! When you're a kid all you wanna do is grow up and now that im a grown up i just wanna be a kid again!!!!!!!!!!!! life was so much easier. I wish G could be my sister too. that would be fun! and P could be my brother.... lol! I just now seen this show called killer karaoke coming on tru tv next! I'm kinda excited. i may be singing and my husband will be mad at me! HAHAHAH! So really i need to clean my house up. i need more space. i need a bigger house. someone came and looked at the house on saturday... and it was very very clean BUT like in the corners its cluttery.... Everything is piled in the corners because we have NO CLOSETS!!!!!!!!!! I need to clean it up! anyways. i guess thats it! MERRY CHRISTMAS! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!!!!!

DO YOU SEE THAT?????

This is from my professor on my week 5 assignment which is an observation of a child and then observation of group of kids: "

This is a great paper. The quick notes and write up were extensive and complete. You were able to integrate your new knowledge in the appropriate parts of this paper. You met the rubric criteria for graduate work and beyond. You were able to support your conclusions with key principles from our texts. You were reflective on your work. This was a great demonstration of your learning thus far."

Sorry had to put it big to make sure i read it right!!!!!!!!!!!! That is my first 4/4 I've got on a writing assignment in this class!!!!!!!!! My first one was a 3/4 then a 3.5/4.... then a 3.8/4... it was anything but a 4/4 and i didn't know she actually gave 100% so right now I'm ecstatic at this!!! This is amazing. Im happy happy happy!!!!! Alright! That's all! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Ok wait now I have to add to this.... Look at this........ This is on the discussion for last week!!!! AHHH! I've never got a 4/4 on the discussion either wow wowowowowowow! haha here it is "

Contributions exceed assigned criteria; frequently prompted further discussion of a topic; took on a leadership role providing direction and extension of topics; demonstrated an awareness of peers’ needs; demonstrated critical thinking to analyze and relate key points; supported personal information with content from course videos or required readings; used creditable sources in addition to course videos and/or required readings; offered specific, constructive, and supportive feedback to extend colleagues’ thinking; contributed to content by bringing in additional resources or experiences; provided clear, concise opinions and ideas with no spelling or grammatical errors."

Am i reading these things correctly???? HAHA!

Let me tell you how my mind works!!!

Alright here it goes... so Im sitting here doing homework... thinking i should write my quick writes up now and the final observation when i get out of the shower. So i get in the shower and i'm thinking about this violence right? I had a dream last night about getting shot but i think we were at church. Anyways so then I put shampoo in my hair and im still thinking about this when all of a sudden.............OUUUUCHHHH!!!! ouch ouch ouch ouch..... i have soap in my eye! then i start thinking... why in the world would they make something that makes you want to pull your eyeball out and throw it away!!!!!!! so then i start thinking... you know what... these people that do harmful things to others.... should be put in a mental place where they squirt soap in their eyes... and just when they think the hurt is gone pour the soap in there again!!! Because just like what they did to those people... killed their kids.. or kill anyone.. he hurt their family.. and just when they think the pain is gone.. it comes back! The pain never goes away when you lose a loved one. So keep squirting that soap in there eye! HAHAHAHHAHAH! ok i may be stupid. but i was also thinkin about making them work in an onion restaurant and all they can do is cut onions! hahahahahah. and that was really stupid, so ill just stick with squirting soap in there eyes! But really my eye is still burning and i've been out of the shower for 10 minutes. I guess it would take a lot of money to buy the soap though huh. man im evil. anyways but really this world has gone crazy. do you think God should be let back into schools? ummm yea! I think we should post a sign on the front of our school that says "God is welcome here" You know why? Because he is! My class says the pledge of allegience and guess what? we say "UNDER GOD!!!!!!" We have a moment of silence, where we think or PRAY about our day! i mean come on! Maybe ill just post a sign on my door that says "God is welcome in my classroom" (I will ask permission first hahahahah) I'm only kidding but seriously. God is allowed in my classroom. My children talk about God and Jesus more than any class I've ever had! And i don't even bring it up! THEY DO! Praise the Lord for that! anyways. i should finish my paper now but guess what? I dont want to!!!! But guess what else? I have next week and THEN IM DONE!!!! until January 6 of course. but I'll have 6 hours down towards my masters. i can't wait to be done. its such a hassle. I kinda wanna quit.... ok not really. I have really learned a lot of stuff already. and researched stuff i already knew and learned more about it. it's kinda fun. It would be funner if i could get the work done before the last minute. you know sunday night i like to go to bed early, but i'm always up late doing homework! (or writing a blog haha) It seems like sunday nights is when i write a blog post.... i guess i need to procrastinate more so i do this. Today when I was drivin I was thinkin of all the things I'd like to say... but i'm not just gonna put them on facebook. Because have you seen the comments people have been making lately? About the guns and stuff? People will post something which is there opinion and someone will just automatically fight or argue or disagree and attack them.... kinda crazy... so i'd be scared to put anything on facebook about it. But I will just be honest, I think Monday will be a scary day for everyone! I'm kind of scared to go to school.... It's kind of creepy when something like this happens and now every school will be worried about this! One person did it, of course its going to happen again.... maybe we should ALL pray that it wont!!!!!!!!! Maybe that would stop it. Ok let me tell you this... by no means should our guns be taken away! I've had a gun all my life! Since I was like 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or something. Ha i really dont know. But i've had one forever. When I was very young my dad bought me a real gun a 243 and i made payments to him like every week.... i still have that gun and several more. Now, me and my mom had the conversation about the big military assault rifles that have clips that hold like 50 rounds........ now that right there is why it's so easy to kill so many people at one time.... no one needs a gun that holds that many bullets.... BUT let me tell you.... D has an AR 15 and he bought a clip with it that holds like 40 bullets... and I have to admit.. it is FUN to shoot!!!! But by the time you shoot 10 your arm hurts to bad that you never want to shoot a gun again. hahah. but really.... no one needs a gun that shoots that many times! I say they should definitly limit those and outlaw those. not even make them. I have a 22 that holds like 10... thats enough. If it takes me 10 shots to hit a squirrel then i need to take a shooting class or something. hahaha! Next, well i won't say what i'm thinking next it might be illegal... hahah. but i really think that the principal or counselor or someone in the building should have a gun... right? They have to protect a whole school! But of course then some psycho would become principal and kill everyone in the school.... or there would be an accident and the gun would go off and shoot someone and people would say... "thats why we don't have guns in school." I guess I will use God as my shield! If it's my time to go I will be praying to God to watch over and protect my children and family and if I die, so be it I guess. At least, God was the last person and the NEXT person I will talk to! Praise God for that eternal life in heaven. I don't want to die of course, but if its my time, its my time right.... Anyways, say a special prayer for all the teachers tonight... you know I'm sure we're all freakin out about having to go to school tomorrow. And definitly prayers for the Connecticut people....

confession......

Ok I must confess, I am the biggest baby ever!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! These past few days I have bawled so many times! It seems like everyone is dying! Although not very many are. I recently started following this page called Loving Londona and she was pregnant but the mom had stuff wrong with her and the baby had stuff wrong with it... not sure what, but they knew the baby would die when it was born, they wanted her to terminate the baby but she wouldn't, so she ended up having the baby, well she had the baby on Friday and we got to follow it... and she had a birthing plan.. since she knew the baby was going to die. You should like the page on facebook. its amazing! I have cried over that a thousand times. Everytime i look at the pics i just bawl. Then, another person from the community died, I didn't know him personally but i know the family. I cry everytime i think about it. Why did God take him? I know i know a reason for everything but sometimes its hard to grasp things like this. I couldn't imagine being the family. I feel like God is getting closer... and touching more and more lives. I have had this strong feeling in me lately. When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was go to G's room to make sure she was still breathing. and then I start thinking what would I do without her? Things can happen in an instant. You should cherish the time you have with the ones you have while you have them! I am starting to worry too much about my children and family. I don't want anything to happen to any of them.... of course no one does, but you know one day they will die...... how sad is that. Why do people die? Why do we have to be sad? This is sad. really! I just posted a video on someones wall and i was laying in bed when i did it... while i was listening to it i started bawling... so i had to get out of bed and i thought hmm  might as well write a blog while im at it to let everyone know IM A SISSY!!!! People think I'm all rough and tough... but guess what I'm not... IM A BABY!!!!!!!!! I cry over the littlest things. Oh I have to tell you something else...... the other night......... seriousness took over... right? so i've been saying i want another baby i need a baby......... but at the same time thinking... no no no no! Well the other night (I think he was teasing) but Dustin said something........ (pretty much that we were going to have a baby.....) ok i can't explain this in anymore detail.... (HAHAHAHHAHAHA) BUT I started to think oh my gosh what if i really did get pregnant??? AHHH ! Then i was thinking what if this happens what if this happens? Well then I realized ummmm yea i dont think i want another baby! For 1: I don't know what I'd do if G wasnt my baby! My heart hurts to think about her not being the baby... i dont know why thats weird. People say I could share the love with another one... but i dont think i can. G means so much to me, I don't know how I'd handle a baby and not give all my love to her.... weird eh? and For 2: You know what........ this may sound weird... BUT this world has became INSANE!!!! I don't want to think about having another baby in this world and growing up fearing all the things that could happen to it.... There's too much.... The two we have are enough.. It scares me to think about when they get older..... I want the kids to be just like I was as a teenager. I didn't do the bad stuff and I had no urge to even try it!!! I don't want to have to fear that things could happen to them. I dont want to have to worry about what could happen..... see this freaks me out. I want them to stay little forever and not have to face the challenges that will come.... When they grow up I want them to come see us just like we go see our parents... and when they're 30 and 27 I still want to hold them like babies!!!!!!! This is depressing!!!!!!!! why do they have to get big.... The past 3 or 4 nights at bedtime Ill carry G like a baby to bed and hold her like a baby while i read to her...... she's been so sick and tired lately that she will actually let me hold her this way.... and she loves it. Now she keeps saying hold me like a baby! hahahahah. I could hold her like that and stare at her all day. I'm so thankful for the babies that I have and I don't think I have enough heart for another one. I've gave my heart away to three other kids that arent biologically mine....... and 1 that is mine..... Therefore I really have 4 kids already although I never see 2 of them but they still have my heart. See there I go crying again! GEE!!!!! BLOG LOOK WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fear them growing up to be like their d-a-d-d-y.................................. which is very scary. There needs to be ZERO more people like that in this world!!!!!! alright i won't start on that.... but one thing i urge to my child is lying is NOT OK!!!!!!! She knows that she will get beat for lying (not really beat but you know...) She WILL NOT i repeat WILL NOT turn out like that scumbag! I will beat it out of her if i have to! hahahahahah. alright anyways.... i have to pee and go to sleep now. i hope you enjoyed reading this and i hope it can sink in to some people. God is coming back some day.......so i hope you are saved..... You know what... even if I didn't beleive.... I would start beleiving just to see my loved ones again! You know something else.... this is weird... I had a dream about my uncle the other day.... (uncle Steve) It was so real... I thought he was here on earth with us,  when I woke up i cried but at the same time i was happy.... I'm so glad I got to see him again... if only in my dreams. There i go crying again....... That dream was like 2 weeks ago and it still feels real.... I was talking to him...... I miss him. You know what else my aunt showed me a picture of my mamaw the other day and she said I looked like her.... i wanted to cry but i didn't because i dont cry when people are around. But I wish I could find that group she was telling me about so I could see that again. I was young when my mamaw died but i remember her so well......... she was so beautiful! Just like Anita! Alright.... Stop Me STOP!!!! That's what the riley family reminds me of though, my uncle steve. Rob was the pastor at his funeral and he was at their house when i got there after he first died. He was so caring and loving for my family. Such a strong man and now he's going through losses hisself...... oh man I have to pee! Nighty night!

its beginning to look a lot like christmas!

alright so when i was kid it took forever for christmas to come around.... why does it come and go so fast now? everything goes by so fast! Its like I have 3 birthdays in one year... when its really been 3 years. its so fast. im getting so old. you know your old when the year starts to fly by! I don't think this happens until you have kids, and when you have kids you go from 21-80 in no time! Tomorrow ill probly be 80! You know i've been thinking of all these things i can get people for christmas and the cards and this and that... but ill prolly get none of it done because i feel like time just goes away that i have time to do nothin!
Alright let me tell you my weirdness... so i was putting christmas lights on the house.. my back hasnt been hurting in quite a while.. well i was getting on the ladder and when i got back down, when i moved my leg back to a certain spot.. it would shoot pain through my back.. well this went on for like 30 minutes, i walked like i was constipated because i didnt want my leg to go to far back... so then finally that stops and my knee starts hurting! so today my back is kinda better but my knee hurts and now my shoulder hurts! hahahahahah! i think my body may be confused. buuuuut let me tell ya i never had trouble until i had a baby! i had heard that the epidural will do bad things to your back... and now i beleive it. of course i wouldnt have had a baby without an epidural because that was awesome... but the back pain sucks also!
Anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have 3 weeks left of my second grad class.... see that just flew by! I thought id never get thru this class and finally im doing awesomer!!!!!!! I actually got a 3.8/4 on my last application! I was REALLY excited this time... because remember i've never made over a 3.5 on the applications in this class. now i'm up to a 3.8 and last week i think i did an amazing job on my observation! So hopefully i may get better than a 3.8! And let me tell you... I observed a kid in another class at our school.. and i had so much fun just following him around and writing stuff down! i did it for about 30 minutes and i want that as a new job! Is there a job where you can just follow a kid around and write down everything that they do? Cuz that was FUN!!!!!!!! It's so interesting! and you can tell so much more about a child when you are focusing on ONE child for 30 minutes. Alright so anyone want to offer me a job now? hahahhahaah!
Oh i have to tell you something funny. I can remember when i was a little kid i thought it was SSSSOOO COOLLL that there were left handed people. my cousin was left handed and i was in amazement everytime i watched him eat or write. so one time some people came over that were friends and i tried to eat breakfast with my left hand.... because i wanted to look cool! HAHAHAHAH! How funny is that. Hopefully they only looked at how cool my hand was and not how bad i was missing my mouth! ha im a dork. i can also remember when i was little that i would always think people were in the trees watching me! my dad would make me go get him some skoal out of the truck at night and i would be so scared! i would try to keep calm on the way out there, then on the way back to the house i would slam the truck door and RRRRUUUUUNNNN as fast as i could, and i would hold my scream in until i got right to the door... and when i grabbed the door handle i would scream so loud! haha! i can also remember in the day time when i would go outside i would sing, because i thought people were watching me. Sounds like i have some kind of syndrome.. you know those people who see things (or people). hahahahaha! I wasnt that bad, i never seen anybody i just thought people watched me.
So this weekend the kiddos went to branson with their nan and doodaw and at first i was thinking alright she's gonna go because i need to clean this house.. so when it comes time to go...... i started thinkin oh my gosh SHE CANT GO!!! luckily she didnt cry when they left or i probably woulda made her stay! well after i left i wanted to cry! hahah thats a long way for a baby to go away from her mommy! so friday i get one room cleaned all up and then i think ok ill do the other room tomorrow.... well saturday comes around and i spend all day with d on his land running the skid loader! and watching him run the skid loader.. we took turns. but it was FUN! then we went and got a load of hay and the dudes tractor ran out of diesel so we had to sit there and wait.... before i knew it, it was already 430......So then im thinking alright got all night to clean... so we get back and were going to go eat.... on the way to eat they called and said they were on their way back!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! yea i didnt get anything cleaned! but i had a great day with my hubby even though it was so windy and i dont think ive ever had that much dirt up my nose or in my ears....
SO let me tell you..... i've been assessing my kids at school this week and last week......... and the results are............ THEY ARE LEARNING SO MUCH!!!!!!!! YAYYYYY! i love when it comes time to assess them because you see how much they've learned so far...... This is the best part about being a teacher, when you get to see how much they've gained so far. Alright i gotta go here comes hubby.... he'll make fun of me if he sees me writing on my blog..... hahahahhahah!

Crybaby!

First of all I have to say... it wasnt that hard and it wasnt worth throwing a fit over....sorry. haha. Now I have to say that... WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GO TO BED AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont wanna go to bed!!!!!!!!!!! I never get peaceful me time! and kids are in bed, hubby is in bed and IM AWAKE! I need to go to bed because it has been so hard for me to get out of bed this week. Probly because I've been staying up so late. Thanksgiving break was so great. I stayed up til midnight or 1 and woke up later than normal which was awesome. G slept til almost 10 everyday! It was awesome. Except for now... i cant go to bed at night aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I can't wake up in the morning. Come on Saturday... please allow me to sleep in a little. You know before thanksgiving break I was going to bed at like 9:00 because I was so wore out. I just need to stop typing and go to bed! I've been trying to put some potato soup in the crockpot to cook in the morning before i go to work... but i havent got up early enough to do it yet. Hopefully in the morning I will. But prolly not since its already 1045. Luckily i got my homework done before midnight this time though. So did any of my friends win the lottery? If so will you share? D bought some tickets and I tried to go on the website to check if we won ANY money at all.... and i bet everyone is on there cuz it won't load. Maybe people will go to bed before long and i can check it. So i have to tell you a secret. You know when you take a SCORCHING HOT bath? It feels so amazing. It would be so easy for me to drown in a bathtub. I could have went to sleep so easily. It was like 11:30 last night... hahaha. But man I slept so good. I wake up in the mornings and my eyes barely open now... I almost look chinese or japanese? one or the other. but anyways back to the bath.... my skin was like sooooo red when i got out! and when i went to bed, i was warm the rest of the night... didnt even have to cover up. Oh we put our christmas tree up tonight. so cute to see p and g actually get along! they put the decorations on the tree by themselves and they were so nice to eachother. Alright so let me tell you my favorite part of duck dynasty..... at the end of every show.. they pray! That's really amazing that prolly the biggest show being watched in america right now PRAYS! Thats  pretty inspirational. Maybe america should learn from it. Alright guess what! Our ticket WON!!!!!!!!! $4 that is. hahahahahah. We got the first number right and the powerball right. cool huh? I won $4. isnt that fantastic!!!!!!! ok not really. but that means we can buy 2 more. haha. alright good night.

IIII HHHHAAAATTTTEEEE CCCCOOOOLLLLEEEEGGGGEEEEE!!!!

# I HATE SCHOOL!!!!!!! #2 I QUIT SCHOOL and #3 WHY DOES THE DEVELOPING CHILD HAVE TO BE SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!! yes that's in caps... that means im yelling!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been sitting here for an hour trying to start typing an essay.. and guess what? I HAVE NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is ridiculous!! that plus duck dynasty is on. plus x factor was on... plus everything is so distracting............ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! help me help me help me!!! ok i really didnt quit school.....but id like to. its so hard. and i have to observe a 2-7 year old this week.... i better do that before i forget. i shall maybe return... until then.. goodbye

lalala

you know its so nice in my house right now! Why does it have to be bedtime??? I dont wanna go to sleep!!!!  So last night I had to say on my application for my grad course i made a 3.5!!! In this class... I've never made better than a 3! I was so excited! Theres more to the story but I can't say it on here... hahahah! Man I had something on my mind and I forgot........ because it took my computer so long to load, i had to restart it 3 times!!! I love days when I know my favorite tv show is coming on tv.... it makes my day worth while.. haha. I do have to tell you for the kids' bday I bought them 2 childrens recliners one is camo and one is polka dot... they were like 100 a piece... but I used my amazon gift card codes... and i only paid $20!!! thanks to swagbucks! I'm hoping to get more before christmas so i can buy christmas for free too! Alright since i forgot what i was gonna say i guess im done... you know whats cool tho.. when the moon is bright and the clouds arent covering it and you can go outside and see EVERYTHING!!! LIke the sun is out only more peaceful! If only it wasnt like 10 degrees. Isn't it weird how you meet someone and marry them? Like God made someone for you to marry... how weird is that. And you meet them.. and your kids have the same birthday and you have the exact same vehicle! How weird... its like God's humor... alright thats all i reckon since i forgot.............blah

Just a word of advise for parents with children ages 2-6!!! This is breaking news to me! I just read that "Appetite decreases between ages 2 and 6 because, compared with infants, young children need far fewer calories per pound of body weight. This is especially true for children today, who play outdoors less than their parents or grandparents did. However, instead of appreciating this natural change in appetite, many parents fret, threaten and cajole their children into eating more than they should ("Eat all your dinner and you can have ice cream." Isnt that crazy? I've experiences this twice with kids not eating!!! and G is the worst eater ever. She pigged out until around the age 2.... now she hardly eats. So there ya go! Don't fret if your kid don't eat, its natural!

Finding Bigfoot....

First of all I have to tell you we went and hunted bigfoot tonight... lol. We actually went to check the deer camera but before we went D told me that someone told him today they saw bigfoot near the back of our property. anyways so it was kinda funny the whole time we were drivin we were freakin out. But I have come to 2 conclusions why there is no bigfoot. #1: if there was a bigfoot, someone would have already killed one and became famous!!! I told D if we saw one we were killing it so we could buy a new house! haha. #2 if bigfoot was real, people wouldnt be walking in the woods in the dark to try to find him... isnt he scary? we were screaming the whole time and never heard or saw anything that compared to a bigfoot. i couldnt imagine being out walking where they were supposed to be found. and on the finding bigfoot show on animal planet they make it just look like a gorilla. I just had to get that out there cuz it was funny tonight. We did kill a skunk and shot at a coyote and missed (D not me). Saw a lot of deer. Tried to moon my nephews deer camera but it never flashed.... I tried to convince D, P and ronnie to all go moon it but the litle boys were freakin out and wouldnt even get out.... finally P got out and just made faces at the camera, but it never flashed... I really hope it didnt take a pic because they may see something they didnt wanna see.  You know what I can remember (speaking of mooning people) I can remember when we used to be drivin down the road in the middle of siloam and my aunt patsy would just moon people.... right in the middle of town!!! I remember doing it myself and my dad doing it. It's like back then you could show your butt anywhere and no one cared, they thought it was funny. Oh well apparently theres a lot of stuff you can't do anymore. I miss my childhood. I had a great childhood. Man those were the days. I kissed g good night and when I walked out i was thinking man isn't it sad my baby is almost 4.... when i know my mom is saying can you beleive my baby is 26? and my grandma is saying... can you beleive my baby is 50? (or 49 or however old she is). alright that's depressing... so anyway good night
Oh wait i just remembered a tv show im gonna make. Have you watched that catfish show that comes on mtv after teen mom 2? Ok so i'm gonna make a tv show of the "fake" person talking to the other person. That seems interesting to me. Ok nobody steal my idea... patent pending.. lol jk. nighty night

normalcy (is that a word?)

Sometimes I wonder why people can't be normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait what is the definition of normal? Let's see. Oh hmm this could start a wonderful conversation. It says "conforming to the standard or common type." Lovely. Because lately I think the "common type" is the CRAZY PSYCHO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! Ok not really but I know more now than I have ever known in my whole life. I know a couple people who would be perfect together because they act just alike! Controlling.... yes. Lazy, stupid, rude.... yes. Doesn't want anything to do with their own kids?.... YES!!! Ok I have a friend on facebook that I read today and she said something about they do everything with their kids because they are the center of their universe and when their kids look back they want them to remember that. That is very touching because there isn't very many people like that anymore. My daughter is the center of my universe also but I must say I need a break sometimes. She gives me a run for my money a lot and sometimes I need to free my mind because she stresses me out so bad. But praise God I am able to have her EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!! I don't see how parents do that every other week away from there child. I could NOT do that EVER!!! One night is enough. Sometimes I'd like a weekend (which i've never done) but not EVERY other weekend. That would suck also. You know what else, we've been having conversations about God lately at school (teachers). And it is so sad to see this nation falling. There are definite signs of the end of times. I can't wait to get to heaven but at the same time I want to see my daughter grow. Heaven is a hard concept to grasp. The Bible says so many things about Heaven. Will we know our family in Heaven? I've read and heard several different opinions on this. Actually you know what? I bet raising a teenager is very hard in these days! There are so many things out there for them.... I was raised right.. I never even got offered the bad stuff by anyone. I think people knew better than to ask me. I pray that I can raise my kids the same way. God is big and can do so many things in your life if you will just give him all the control. God is in control whether you accept it or not. I have been considering some VERY BIG decisions lately. I need a lot of prayer about them. Sometimes life is hard and you feel like you need to make decisions that could change your life. No I'm not divorcing my husband! HAHAHA! I started thinking it might sound like that. hahaha. It's hard to see people in church on Sunday and see them in a bar on Friday drunker than a skunk. You know what else is hard. After my last "breakup" when I was still debating on divorce we went to church together, got prayed for, and there was this very spiritual family that prayed with us and we lived  with them for a couple days. I thought they were great people and maybe they are. But when I ran into that certain someone in walmart a year ago, It was those people that told her who I was! How could they do that? Here's what I dont understand, they've seen him in his lies, caught him in lies and continue to side with him. I honestly don't understand. They probably covered for him a lot. I dont get people. People are weird. Why can't everyone be NORMAL!!!!!!!! Wait, maybe I should say why can't everyone be LIKE ME! hahaha jk. by no means am I normal, but I try to be as normal as i can. I try to be as civil as I can, but when people cross me the wrong way, it's hard to be civil. There's not too many people I don't like, but the one's i don't like I REEEEAAALLLLLLYYYY don't like. I don't understand how so many people can lie as bad as they do. Why would someone even want to lie? It gets you nowhere (possibly hell but that's it.). I don't understand a lot of stuff. Why is the law on the bad persons side? Why can't everyone be normal! haha. Ok you know what I think is really cool? In the evening when you can see all the airplanes in the sky with the trails behind them. that is so cool. and I was driving the other day and I was thinking ok, if the plane is going up that means they are coming towards us right? and If they are going down they are going away? Why is the world round? HAHAH! oh the things I can think if only I try.. haha. good night

Alright..... now let me tell you... it says I had 159 page views on my blog last night and this morning!!! WOAH!!!! how cool is that? I'm really famous! Ok let me tell you something funny... I'm the weirdest person ever. I was in hobby lobby and I was almost done, but I still wanted to look around cuz they had some neat stuff on sale.... so i go and get some deco mesh cuz i'm gonna try to make a wreath.... and when i stop to look at that stuff... my cart wheel starts acting stupid. I mean this is weird because it was fine the whole time!!! I was in there for like an hour... and after an hour it started acting up really? and i'm as far away from the registers as i can be... so i'm like crap... ok and if i turn the cart where the wheel is turning its fine but when i go straight, it messes up.. kinda embaressing, so i'm like ok crap i can't keep drivin around the store like this, i'm done.. so the wheel is like skidding across the floor making this really loud noise... i'm like gee i hope no one sees and i kept swerving cuz when i would swerve the wheel would turn right.. HAHAHAHAH I"M SUCH A NERD!!! Let me tell what else... I was sitting at a stoplight in siloam and for some reason my music was off... (which never happens) i glance over to the car next to me and this girl is by herself and she's just singing away and i thought it was hilarious because when i'm drivin on the dirt road i turn the music up so loud and sing so loud and i keep thinking i hope there's noone on the side of the road that can see me. I sing all the time, but when i'm in town.... I DONT!!! I dont want people to catch me singing hahahhah they would die laughing... cuz when i sing.... I REALLY SING!!! HAHAHA! Guess what I'm watching? TEEN MOM 2!!! YAYYY! FINALLY! So i'm making a cake for a baby shower and i'm so scared!!! It's gonna be really cute! But i thought 1 cake would fit in a 9x13 pan.. and it took 2!!! So i ran out of eggs and shortening so i had to go back to the dollar store to get some. I still have to make the second cake (2 mixes), AHHHH!! But luckily its for wednesday. I'm also making marshmallow fondant to put make decorations for the cake... never done that before. hope it turns out ok.. if all else fails at least itll taste good! haha. Oh Oh oh oh oh oh!!! i just remembered something important i needed to say.. i bought P and G some kids recliners for their bdays and I bought them off of amazon. i used all my amazon gift cards from swagbucks... and I only had to pay a little bit of money! I used $160 in Amazon Gift Cards!!!! how awesome is that, so it's like I'm getting 2 childrens recliners for free. That's why I love swagbucks! I had a $25 amazon gift card from a swagbucks survey that i did. and the rest was just from general searching and codes...... i'm amazed. i definitly didnt think it would be that awesome when my sister forced me to sign up!! So SIGN UP FOR SWAGBUCKS! You have to be awesome to get that many gift cards but if you keep trying and searching you'll do awesome! Here's my referral link. swagbucks.com/refer/Shangranew
Ok I'm done now. Ciao

Ok it says I have 58 page views and they are all from the past 30 minutes!!! Wow that's a lot of people reading my blog! How fun! Am I famous now? Cuz I really wanna be famous!!!! I forgot to say that I can't wait for tomorrow because teen mom 2 comes back in tomorrow and that show called catfish the tv show! That's all!

long time no see

Have you noticed I start almost all of my posts with the word OK? HAHA! I told myself not to do it this time and i still almost did. I havent been on here in a while. I havent had TIME!!!!!! OH MY GOSH where has the time gone! I've been so busy. Where has the year gone though really? Its almost Thanksgiving, how is that possible? One more week and we have a whole week off of school..... weird. You know what tonight I got all my grades back on the first week of the new class.... and I got a 3.5/4 on discussion and 3/4 on the application... which SUCKS!!!!!! On the first class I always got 4's on discussions, and never got under 3.5 on applications. Let me tell you what else... Professor said this in the grading thing: "You are a leader in this class" what does that mean? did she tell everyone that? that makes me want to be able to read everyone elses and see everyone elses grades. I really wish we could. I felt good when she said that, but then i get a 3 on my application and I'm thinking WWWHHHHAAATTT..... on the bright side a 3 is a B!!! not a C which is awesome. So this morning I was asleep and I was dreaming about something, cant remember what, but i do remember i was in my moms back yard... anyways i dreamed that my back was hurt... guess what happened next? I woke up...... AND I COULDNT MOVE!!!!!!! My back hurt SOOOO BAD!!!! It was the weirdest thing ever. It was because I slept on my belly all night, but dang it was terrible i couldnt move. So you know what I want for Christmas for those of you in my family that draw my name (as i whisper trent.. cuz i know your reading this!).... I want a kitchenaid mixer! You know what else i want.... I want a rug for my living room with one of those padded things that goes under it..... that's all i want. I've thought and thought and thought about what i want for christmas and those are the only 2 things i can think of. You know what I havent talked about in a long time? music! you know my new favorite song? I think its zac brown band.... that's so sad. I saw good bye in her eyes... oh and taylor swift... HAHAHA! not the weird song... the one about .. on a wednesday in a cafe, i watched it begin again... So you know what? I have to make a cake for a baby shower on wednesday!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! i'm scared. what if it turns out bad!!!!!!!!!!!!?????? I just remembered i should probably go buy a gift for that same baby shower.... man i'm so behind. G was invited to a birthday party here while back and I need to buy that dude something too!!!!!!!! I'm such a bad mom and friend!!! I'm so slow at buying gifts.... I'm the worst! I always think ok im gonna do this, or that and I NEVER DO!!!! or maybe i do but its like 3 months later!!! haha. G and P's bdays are coming up in 2 weeks and they havent got anything yet either... havent even planned a party! Ruh roh raggy! You know what I love about kids... that time called their sensitive period.... you know what that is? when you can teach them things and they stick with them.. the time they learn the best. I have kids in my class now that are in that period... G is kinda in that period also... She can copy words and letters so good and she can remember letters a lot better than she used to. and the letter sounds she does for speech, She can do it by herself! Just like kids in my class we've worked on names and letters pretty hard and its amazing to see how much they have learned so much already. Being a teacher is a wonderful job especially when you can sit back and reflect on what you have taught! It's amazing! One day I really want to open my own preschool thing...... or something. I actually want to work in a hospital REALLY BAD!!! Have i ever told you that? I want to teach in a hospital... is that possible? I would LOOOOOVVVVEEEEE that!!!!!!!!!!!! ok i better do something else now! Wait, you know what I have to do next week for my application assignment? I have to observe a 0-2 year old! anyone wanna loan me their kid for 30 minutes? lol.... I'm excited it should be fun. luckily my sis has a 6 month old that is perfect for this! ok but really now goodbye!

Ok tonight has been amazing! We got in the vehicle to drive home from school and G whines really bad.. mainly cause i told her she wasnt going to see her neena tonight because of the way she acted last night. Then i let her call her neena... and we got home and she was absolutly AMAZING!!!! we played outside for like 2 hours and then came in and she just got some books, we made her a christmas list... and then she just played by herself. Then took a shower and got her in bed at 8 hoping she'd be asleep by 10 and she's still awake at 930... lol.. But the good thing is she isnt throwing a screaming yelling fit!!! PRAISE JESUS!!! She's yelling at me MOOOOOOOM MOOMMMMAAA haha but shes in a good mood so im ignoring her. I have to quit going in there everytime she yells at me. BUT i gave her sticker chart back tonight and she was super happy and was joking that she was going to erase the sad faces on there. I absolutly love when she is in a good mood. Tonight it was like i didnt have to worry about what I said like I have been, i could say one thing about anything really and she'd just go off in a fit. Tonight if i told her no she was just like ok..... it was amazing. hopefully it stays this way. HOpefully she goes to sleep sometime tonight too. hahahahah. Last night i was so frustrated that I wanted to quit trying to get my masters degree..... because i couldnt handle it, my paper was going to be late and i was so frustrated at her and the paper and myself and stressed. It was insane. The CMA's tonight are so funny. There will never be better hosts than carrie underwood and brad paisley. they are so funny. So teen mom 2 comes on novemeber 12 I CANT WAIT!!!! i'm watching jersey shore and it cracks me up too. I need more reality shows to come on soon! The bachelor or something. greys and private practice havent came on in a week. im ready for army wives and drop dead diva to come back on. RIght now snooki is cooking and she's about to burn down the house. hahahahah. Alright I said i was going to sleep early tonight so i better work on that... nighty

ok now that i'm done with my assignment and i've had a shower and am all relaxed and less stressed.... i take everything i said back.... lol! ok i really don't. i really don't understand why she acts that way.... i think i'm more worried and frustrated than i am anything else. #1 as i previously stated her father is a psychopath.... hopefully this isnt genetic... i also think he could possibly be bipolar... some of the behaviors she demonstrates reflect bipolar..... worries me. My class now is working on child development and right now we're on the prenatal development and factors effecting.... therefore... now that got me to thinking about prenatal care with her..... during my pregnancy i was stressed, in much the same way as i am now... but not really... i cried all the time, yelled, screamed, got choke slammed, had a car wreck....The way I acted then resembles the way she acts now... what if that affected her? I honestly hope it's just a phase.... BUT if you saw the way she acted, you would think she had problems. I cry at myself because i'm so hard on her... but there is no reason ANY child should act like that... bipolar, add, autism or anything.... they have to mind and follow rules too. I'm gonna be honest.... i told g i wasnt her mom (how mean, but that is going back to the things i shouldnt say thing...) and i walked out of her room.... i think that hit her hard... she was yelling at me that i was her mom and she didnt wanna go anywhere else. She said "i want you to be my mommy" which made me sad for saying what i said..... but i said "Kids don't treat their mommys the way you treat me.... if i was your mommy, you wouldnt treat me the way you do" which she probably understood ZERO of what i was getting at.... but it made me feel better. And she calls me mean... i try to make her understand that she could be somewhere else with someone who would BEAT her until she was BLACK AND BLUE!!!!!! she can't understand that.....  she doesn't understand she has it made. I ask her "do i buy you stuff? do i get you almost anything you want? do i buy you clothes? do you stay warm at night?" then i say.... "that's real mean isnt it" haha i AM MEAN!!! but i wish she could understand how she has it made..... i wish she could see the kids that don't get fed, that don't get clothed or taken care of! One day i know she will grow up and outgrow it but it's so frustrating when they call you mean..... especially when you spoil them the way she has been spoiled!!! Now i'm done on that subject. Let me tell you about my assignment.... I got it all done at around 11:20... and then when i posted it... it said submitted at : 12:20 AM Nov.1... i was like AHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT?????? Then i checked the announcements and they said any discussion post submitted late will receive a ZERO!!!! but then i look on the syllabus and it says our assignments are due at 11:59 p.m. Mountain Time... 1:59 Eastern Time.... here let me copy and paste it.... "All assignments are due by 11:59 p.m. Mountain Time (MT) on the day assigned (which is 1:59 a.m. Eastern Time (ET) the next day). The time stamp in the classroom will reflect Eastern Time (ET), regardless of your time zone. As long as your submission time stamp is no later than 1:59 a.m. Eastern Time (ET), you have submitted on time" help me understand then? is mine late? hahaha i emailed her to find out... just in case... hopefully since its the first week she'll be lenient... if not oh well i guess.. ok good nigth!

Right now my mind is about to blow up!!!!! I have never been this stressed out!!!! I have to write a blog post because i have an assignment due in 2 hours that I havent even started on.... the reading is like 40 some pages long and i havent read that either..... wanna know why? because every night at bed time my child decides she wants to be a demon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am very angry...... if you can't tell. I just started my new class on monday...... so monday night i get g in bed come in here and start trying to do my work and she just out of the blue starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs at me. this probably lasts til about 10:00......... same thing on tuesday..... tonight she got in bed at 830 and was having a fit until just now. 9:50..... i CANNOT handle this child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok actually i can. but sometimes she is so out of control that i lose my temper and i say things i shouldnt say. i have never been so stressed out. it started about 2 weeks ago.... and at the drop of a hat.. she goes from happy.... to a child i've never seen in my life. Some of you probably think i'm crazy.... but if you could see the way she acts you would want me to take her to a psychyatrist... or something like that. Once she starts.. she doesn't stop until she throws up or scratches her face...... and they usually last about an hour or an hour and a half. One would say... just ignore her...... BUT it's hard to ignore a screaming kid when you are trying to read a book. plus when they hurt, you hurt.... it's like shes a newborn all over again..... it's like shes crying but she has no idea why shes crying..... and neither do i.... sympathy doesn't work... i bawl and she sees me bawling and she cries cause i'm crying but then after a while she'll just start all over again screaming at me. I pray every night for it to get better or for something to change... but it only seems to be getting worse. Today she had such a good day too. Me and D told her this could be her First day ever to NOT CRY!!!!.... well werent we wrong... after trick or treating was over we were heading home and she starts screaming that shes hungry.... then we get home and she plays for a while then the screaming begins. so she almost had a good day. i had her a sticker chart also,.... when she was good she got stickers... we've been doing that for about 2 weeks... well tonight i ripped it down because i told her she didnt deserve stickers.... i can't find anything that worse.... One may say... spank her..... well that only makes her madder and makes the fit last longer. I gaurantee you she's had more whoopins than probably any 4 year old on this earth.... just because of her attitude. ok now that i've got that off my mind... maybe i'll try to write my paper............ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

blah blah blah

Alright tonight is one of those nights when I wish I could just run away. You know when you start hearing about people you know, that they know people you know that you don't want them to know. Anyways you get what I'm sayin? haha. I would so love to just move far away. Don't even have to be FAR AWAY.... just like tulsa would be fine with me.... or the rural part of tulsa... is there a rural part of tulsa? There are some things in life that are just so disgusting to think about. #1 how can people kill people and get by with it.... that's the most disgusting thing ever. If someone kills someone they should be in jail.... that's not really what i'm thinking but i had to put that to be nice.... i'll just say if you should treat others like you want to be treated... then people who treat people in deadly ways... should get the same treatment. right... thats how i feel. I'm gonna tell you right now I am a Christian but there are more than a few people on this earth i could totally live without..... is that bad to say? ok i take it back.... but seriously. There are people who don't deserve to be here. People in this world who run around and make it a point to ruin peoples lives... that should be illegal... i don't understand. This is one of those times i could sit at the computer and stew all night about it. I could even sit here and cry while typing.... but there are people watching... lol. Some things stress me out to the point of no end. My life would be so much easier if i just moved. I can't stand worrying about "wonder if they know where i live...." all the time!!!!! or going into a store thinking "i hope i don't run into them..." I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! no one will EVER understand how i feel! not even my husband understands. he thinks im stupid for not doing things at certain places. But i'm telling you i'm not. I will do everything in my power to protect my child from that EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean EEEEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLL!!!! I'm so wound up right now I could go on and on and on and on and on!!!!! ARRRRGGGG!!!! Sometimes life isnt fair. Sometimes life is hard. and I pray everyday for things to change or to get things off my mind.... but you know its still there. and it will always be there. I'll always be afraid. I once heard a sermon about fear. and that if you just pray it will go away..... apparently i dont have enough faith..... i dont know. but really i cried when i heard that sermon because i have so much fear. People don't know how much fear i have. I try to act like I'm not scared or worried.... i try to be tough. but it doesn't work. deep down...i fear..... oh gosh i could cry right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop!!!! People also say I couldnt move because my kid would miss her neena..... lol!!! but im telling you i could. i would still drive down here every day.... hahahahah. I am gonna be honest again though.... every night i go to bed and i shut my kids tv off and i think... ok i have to shut it off because if someone breaks in... they won't go in her room..... and i have a gun by my bed and every night when i lay in bed and i think about things... EVERYTHING.... i have to look again beside my bed and make sure its there. to be honest again theres like 4 guns by my bed... hahahahah!!! I check every now and then to make sure they're loaded. This is a scary blog..... i could never kill anybody by the way.... thats scary to think about. anyways onto something else. I ate at JL's tonight. I've been wanting it for so long because I remember how good there potato wedges were and when i got them they werent as good as i once remembred. BUT.... they also i got beans.... they put the potato wedges in the beans.... seriously people!!! I CANT STAND FOR MY FOOD TO TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!! how inconsiderate!!! hahahah jk. luckily there was plenty of potatos anyways... D is watchin a movie about cowboys and indians... g says mom are they real? i said what she said are indians real? I said yea... I'm an indian your an indian d and p are indians.... she said noooo indians are mean they have guns... i said uhhh hello d has a gun i have a gun p has a gun..... she said but i dont... i said DUHHH!!! hahahhaaha. Oh by the way I've been off facebook for 3 weeks now... can you beleive it... i love it! sometimes i get on my moms and look at some things... BUT i really have no interest in it. it's stupid and annoying. i do like it to keep up with people but i've stopped the nosey crap..... well thats enough blab for one night...

first of all my house is so dirty i should be cleaning it instead of sitting here. I made cupcakes the other day and i havent felt like washing those dishes yet! oopsy haha. maybe ill clean tomorrow. i used to love to clean now i hate it. if i had a dishwasher it might not be so bad Oh plus i didnt have dish soap and i just now went to walmart and bought some so i guess i can wash dishes now. darn. second of all... i have to talk about swagbucks because i love it so much...haha. Today alone I have earned 544 swag bucks.. just by searching and doing surveys. I think that was 3 surveys and search. A $5 amazon gift card is only 450. So i've earned 1 in 1 day. But you can only get 5 in a calendar month and i've already got my 5 this month, but i can save them for next month to make sure i get my 5. For the kids' birthdays im gonna try to spend only the free amazon gift cards that i've won. That way it will be free and i won't have to buy anything. that would be super. I used to just search a little, but now that i've realized i could have a free christmas or birthdays, i'm kinda hardcore.... lol! if you are interested in signing up do it thru me.. .heres the link.. swagbucks.com/refer/Shangranew   i think its fun, but it takes a while to start earning and really getting into it. They have codes also that get you free swagbucks sometimes. I just counted and i have 21 amazon gift cards that i've collected since july 6, 2012. So in 4 months i've made like $105. And i have more on some other sites like superpoints and viggle and mypoints. None of them cost money, but sometimes they can just take a little time. If your interested in any of them let me know and ill refer you. I also have a houseparty.com account and i've got in on an avocados from mexico party that i'm supposed to host. I'm excited to see what i'm gonna get from them because my sister had a fisher price party and she got TONS of free toys just to show off at her party and she got to keep them! I hope they don't give me like 50 pounds of avocados! hahaha. So this week is weird. fall break is weird. I wish i actually went on vacation somewhere because when i'm here its all weird. i feel like its friday and its only thursday. ok thats all for now

cupcakes

alright so tomorrow is our fall harvest party and i made cupcakes! I'm excited to show them off so i had to write a blog post... lol! I did it with the homemade icing and its hard to get the icing to stick to the cupcakes... guess you should dirty ice cupcakes too haha. I've been in the mood lately to just cook cool things. I mean thinking about cooking cool things... but have i? No. i just like to think about doing it. But the cupcakes were pretty fun. Makes me want to make more cool stuff. Now I'm going to bed so here they are... hope you can see it

Bzzagent glade campaign

I have to Bzz about my latest campaign. Glade expressions is a great way to make your home smell amazing (unless of course you have scentsy). I've been testing this product for about a month now and I am in love with the pineapple mangosteen! They have spray and they also have a fancy thing that diffuses the scent, which I have in my bathroom and it smells very good! I have enjoyed testing this product and I am sad the campaign will be closing in 2 days! Thanks glade for letting me test your product for FREE!!!!! Wanna test free products go to Bzzagent.com I have tested products from reckon makeup to hidden valley ranch, it is very fun to do!!!

houston we have a problem!

Ok so when the home button doesnt work on your iPhone.... thats a problem! I was hoping i could hold out until april (when my contract is up) for a new phone so we could switch to verizon... you know my screens been cracked almost ever since i got it and then super badly cracked about 6 months ago... like glass in your finger cracked... haha! but now the home key doesnt work. So as long as im only texting on it, its ok because i can stay in text... but when i want to get on the internet with it or set my alarm.. i have to shut the phone completely off and turn it back on to get to the home screen. Then if i set my alarm.. i have to shut it off again to get back to the home screen. HAHAHAHAH! how fun! Another problem... It always seems like we plan food things at schools on mondays! bad bad bad bad idea! I always have to be reminded if we are having something that im supposed to bring something. It's 10:00 and i just now remembered i'm supposed to take something. So i was makin tuna salad for lunch tomorrow and the rest of the week.. but apparently I have to share with everyone else because thats all i have hahaha! maybe they won't eat it because it looks like throw up! hahahahah. anyways. we took pictures today! They turned out so cute i CANNOT wait to get them developed... we did family pics with us and the hollands. it was pretty fun. the men did very good cooperating, i'm very proud. haha. and my husband looked HHHOOOTTT!!! Today i have had like 4 or 5 pops! I havent had pop in soooooo long! I've done so good. but this week was bad. I have to tell you.. i lost 10 pounds.. i probably gained it back last week! Red lobster and pop! Gotta get back on the shake and stop the pop again. i was doing so good. I was even running there for a while. I'm watching the final destination.. i love these shows. even though they are all the same. I'm in need of a scary movie night! like one i havent seen. i saw paranormal activity 4 was coming to theatres thursday.. but i watched paranormal activity 3 in theatres and it was more funny than scary... because of all the little teenagers watching it with us that just screamed at everything that happened. it ruined the movie. but i love scary movies. They need to come out with a good one... new one! So I have 2 more weeks of my first online class for my masters. then my next one starts. im scared because it's probably going to get harder! AHH! It just feels relieving to have 1 finished though. Like i've actually succeeded at something. Gotta start somewhere I guess. Although I feel like it's gonna take forever. I have done so much research on so many early childhood articles and its actually pretty fun. I found out that Oklahoma ranks 49th in the US on how much they spend per student! I can't beleive that. That's crazy. I feel like we get so much stuff each year for our classrooms.... maybe ts just pre-k though. I've also read about how important play is in a child's life. I feel like we really need recess for social and gross motor skills. It also talked about the imaginitive play. We do so much of that in Pre-K! I love that. it's so fun. I love this class. I love how much i've learned through reseraching. Anyway yea see facts are boring.................. MY MIND... however is very exciting. If only you could make everything fun to read. or maybe this is boring? who knows but it's fun to write! ciao!

First of all..... I've been on pinterest all day oh my gosh i would love to do so many things on there!!! they look so fun. I wish i was creative. Now... I was driving home tonight in the dark on the dirt road. And at night time when i'm outside i always have crazy ideas! I used to run outside to get something and I would try to stay calm all the way back to the house... then i'd get halfway there and id freak out and start running and i would scare myself so bad!! Well so i was drivin home... and all of a sudden i was thinking.. ok what if there was a guy on the side of the road with a bloody face.. like he had been hit by a vehicle or hurt and he was just sitting there or laying there or waving me down.... would i stop??? I would feel bad for not stopping but i don't think i would! I would prolly freak out and put it in reverse! hahaha. no but really? would u stop? what if it was just that fake blood and they only wanted to kill you? I freak out about stuff like that all the time.They should put that on the show "what would you do" cuz i'd like to know what other people would do. You know what else that reminded me of. One time we were mad at someone.... around halloween. So we hid in the woods and we knew he was coming down our road... so we hid about 4 miles from my mom and dads house.. me and a couple of friends... we put a little dummy with a balloon head in the road, then we hid on the top of the hill and when he drove by the first time we threw biscuits at him.. (note: we also had syrup with red food coloring.. we dipped our biscuits in this mixture then threw them.)  but guess what? they were raw biscuits out of the can.. they didnt throw very far... anyways then i can remember we had the video camera and we had to run to the other side of the hollar before he came back and we all took off running and i stepped off the edge and rolled all the way to the bottom of the hollar!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! it was leafy and lots of trees and rocks... it was so funny. i think i still have it on tape somewhere and you can hear me laughing the whole time. I'm not sure what video it was on but ill have to find it. oh my gosh it was funny. Turns out we didnt scare him at all. I like halloween... i started decorating my classroom today for halloween... that's why i was looking on pinterest. There's some really cool things on there to make for halloween. So i've decided I'm going to start saving my money more than i have been! I've been doing terrible the past few months! i dont know why. but i have to stop. Have to save!!!! So please don't ask me to go out to eat unless your buying! HAHA! I've been watching those scary movies again.. before i go to bed and i keep having scary dreams!!! But i love them after i wake up! when i'm havin them im scared to death though. The other night wrong turn 4 was on and the ending made me laugh so hard!!! The 2 girls were free.. they finally made it and thought they killed all the bad guys. so they get on the jet ski and take off laughing and smiling when all of a sudden they run into a barb wire fence right thru their necks and cuts both of their heads off and they fly thru the air!!! OH my gosh! I laughed (mainly cuz of how fake it was) but holy cow it was funny!.

Psychopath

Ok you guys may think I'm weird... of course you do! You read my blog! haha. but I saw this commercial for a movie called seven psychopaths or something like that and it showed the #3 way to know if someone is psychopath.... anyways my mind wanted to know the real signs of a psychopath so i looked it up... here's what i found...

Hare Psychopathy Checklist

Factor1: Aggressive narcissism
Glibness / superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lyingConning / manipulative
Lack of remorse or guiltShallow affectCallous / lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Promiscuous sexual behavior
Factor2: Socially deviant lifestyle

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Parasitic lifestyle
Poor behavioral control
Lack of realistic, long-term goals
ImpulsivityIrresponsibility
Juvenile delinquency
Early behavior problems
Revocation of conditional release

Many short-term marital relationships
Criminal versatility

Ok now that I did that.. let me see if I can go back and highlight some things.... ok i changed them to red...

So now.. guess what I'm getting at? I KNOW A PSYCHOPATH!!!!

HAHAHAH! That was pretty fun. it was like i was doing a research paper... but honestly apparently I really know a psychopath. can you diagnose people? haha. anyways that was fun!

Did those pics show up? They showed up on my ipad but not on my computer. Anyways you know what i love about days like today? and this time of year? I cleaned out all of G's closet, went thru all her clothes, put her summer clothes up got her winter clothes out. Got rid of the ones that don't fit! I love doing this. its so fun. and she's taking a nap now and so is D, so it's a lovelly day. hahahaha! I also put our summer clothes up and got our winter clothes out. and i tried to get rid of a lot of toys while she was in the living room not paying attention. I've been thinking about not having her a bday party this year. They are so overrated. Maybe just a family thing for her and P. or maybe taking them to eat with some friends maybe? i'm not sure i just hate planning a party. its hard. BUt you know what i have been wanting to do? have a halloween party in our barn. I've been in the mood to cook stuff that i've never cooked. like snacks and stuff. that sounds fun. but then again i hate planning parties. I just wanna cook for one. haha. so last night was the first time i've ever used skype and you know what it is SO COOL!!!! we got to talk to sara in new york! and there were 5 of us here and the other was in tulsa.. and we skyped with the friend in tulsa also. it was so cool!!!! Why have i not had this earlier. I love those cleany days when your in the mood to get rid of everything!!!!!!!! I have so much stuff i need to be doing instead of typing on here but i finally got a peaceful moment to myself so i thought i'd write on here  and clean my mind cuz this is fun. I have been off facebook for a week now. yea yea! who lost that bet? haha. anyways i do have a scentsy group on there but thats it. Im glad i kept it cuz i've sold quite a bit on there since i've got rid of my facebok .You know what else. I still have swagbucks and guess how many amazon gift cards i have right now? i have 16 right now and 4 that are posted but verifying. and then i have a $10 one from super points and i've almost got a $25 one from mypoints. so, so far for christmas or birthdays i have $110, + 25 if i get it before christmas. plus i will have 5 next month also. I max out on amazon gift cards every month. 5 is all you can get. and i get 5 every month. All you have to do is search and get the codes and do the little things for points. its super easy. anyways guess i need to go to walmart now. and wake G up before she sleeps too long. ciao!

Someone be proud of me please.... Lol

I need to brag because I thought I would be making c's and d's! Here are my grades so far during this course! 



That's one I the papers I wrote for one of my classes! Now look at my grades....


Ok now  I may be bragging a little but I NEVER thought I would make A's In grad school!

So here I am 230 in the morning! I wake up to G screaming at me! You know why? She almost pooped her pants! Hahahaha! This is the 2nd time tonight. Guess what now its 530 and I'm up again! Geez I'm gonna be tired!!! Poor baby girl threw up twice yesterday and now she ha the runs! Bless her heart! And hr temp is 101 but she feels like you could cook an egg on her! Well maybe I can go sleep now

Bzzagent

First off this blog post is for my Bzzagent! Let me tell you what that is.. You fill out surveys based on your answers you get in on a campaign and they send you products to test and give them feedback on! So I got this one called Unreal candy! It's candy that is better for you than regular candy. Here's a website if you'd like to check it out! http://getunreal.com/ I also have a few BOGO coupons left to share with my friends. You can get them at Walgreens. The only one I tried was nougat and caramel in chocolate, it wasn't too bad. It was actually pretty good, but seeing as how I was on a diet when I bought it, I didn't eat the whole ing because it still has around 190 calories. I would like to try it again and I may do it, I'm sad they will no longer be a bzz partner. But glad I got to try it when we got to test it! Thanks Unreal candy and Bzzagent!

My Cakes!

Ok the two cakes on top are the two i made for my friend that she paid money for! haha! I never thought i'd ever get money for cakes. Good thing she isnt picky though cuz the writing is terrible! But the F one is for this week at school our letter is F.. and i put all the cutters i had that started with F.. it was kinda fun. But it was square and it was really hard to get the corners iced. and i was playing around with the border... thats why it's all different. My kids will love it no matter what it looks like! Making cake is fun, its just stressful when you've been working all day to come home and have to get it iced before class.... PS I skipped class tonight... oops. i wanted to be a rebel! plus i had a really bad headache and gracie didnt act like she felt good. So if you ever want me to make you a cake just tell me what you want! I love to make it as long as you don't want it perfect! haha. And please want it round cuz the square was kinda hard! Anyways.... Ciao!

Alright isn't it weird that there are certain things your parents dont teach you? I was drivin home the other day and i was thinking of all these things... and i was like why did i not know that?? but honestly i can't remember what they were. But some of them had to do with buying a house. One that I was thinkin about is when your at a 4way stop. those are the most awkward moments EVER!! Especially if you stop at the same time as someone else!!!! I ABSOLUTLY HATE THAT!!!! But you know what i do? I either stop really fast, so I stop before them.... Or i keep rolling for a long time.... so they stop before me. I always make it where we don't stop at the same time. haha. i'm a nerd. you know what. I think I'm OCD. really! Today, I rearranged my living room... yay! I love it. I have a new living room. haha. But it's so small you cant do much with it. I can't wait to buy a new house. Hey by the way G can whistle now!!!! she's so excited! She can also write her name and that makes her super happy also! Guess what else. I had a request to make some cakes the other day. and I made two! and I got money!!!! hahahahah! I stayed up til midnight on thursday night making them for friday BUT you know what I learned something and i actually enjoyed doing it. It definitly comes to you better with more experience. I remember the first cake OH MY GOSH I WAS SO MAD!!!!! It just gets easier and easier to get the icing smooth! How about I upload the pics of them... I actually got the icing smooth, it was so awesome! I did terrible on the writing but I will get that part figured out later. All that matters is I had fun. and the lady i made them for loved them, of course she wouldnt complain even if she hated them... haha! Such a sweet lady. Have you been by Eucha lately? OH MY GOSH now that's low! So i've been running lately! Isn't that weird. I want to run down the highway cuz its so much easier to run on the highway than on the gravel.... but i'm scared. i dont wanna be kidnapped.... or i guess it would be adultnapped now huh? hahah. I listen to my Music while running it's actually fun. I love loud music in my ears. I could run forever and never realize i was tired. that's what music does to me. The other day i turned it on and didnt realize it was so loud though and it about blew my eardrum up. We bought some zebu... they're like miniature bulls.... they're so cute. I think it would be so cool if we could train them like a horse.... they are wayyy crazy right now. but they're so tiny it wouldnt be hard to halter break them. You know the clowns at rodeos sometimes ride bulls like a horse. We have 2... i think itd be cool if both of our kids could ride their zebu like a horse! So in case you didnt know its about winter... i never wear shorts anymore unless i'm home... so if you come over and i'm in shorts... don't look at my legs! I am not shaving them. It's ridiculous to shave your legs when no one sees them... ok i might shave them in a day or two but gee why shave? It's a waste of time... just like let me tell you how bored i get brushing my teeth.... it's like the same thing EVERY MORNING!!! It gets soooooo old!!! That's why I brush my teeth in the shower whenever i can. it saves so much time! Ok i'm done i have to go make some buttercream icing... MMMMM!!!!

Just gonna tell you, you can subscribe to my blog by email! How fun!!!! I subscribed to it myself just to see what it'd do! It's pretty cool. But anyways the football game tonight was VERY good! I was driving home with my French vanilla cappuccino..mmmm...when I started thinking about how when I was young I always carried people's coffee and I ALWAYS spilled it on myself. Why did I carry people's coffee? I remember doing it a lot... But I don't remember why.... Anyways ciao!

Are you talkin bout me??

My ears are burning? What does that mean? someones thinking about me? talking about me? what's weird is, its only my right ear.... my left ear is cold. I've always heard people say "we were talking about you were your ears burning" I've never known what that meant? I thought it meant the inside of your ear... but my ear is burning and its like the top part ya know where people get them pierced? i mean its burning!!!! its so hot! This actually happened the other day also! maybe my hubby is thinkin about me! Aww! Ok so I have a weird obsession lately... when i deposit money into the bank... i have to make it an exact number! like no change... I add change to my deposit to make it a whole number. how weird is that. i noticed myself doing it the past 3 times i went to the bank. I'm like uhhh what am i doing? Ok so remember i'm deleting my facebook...? i havent yet because my scentsy page is how i get a lot of business!!!! So i made up a fake facebook and made my fake person administrator on my scentsy page. so now i will still keep my scentsy page! yay! but i will be writing on it as a different person. i just wont have any friends so i can't snoop thru  all the stuff! and i promise myself i won't look at anyones profiles! So parent/teacher conferences went amazing! I felt like i knew most of my parents this year and that makes it so much easier. I either knew them from previous children... or had to have lots of talks with them already.... HAHA! but all in all they went well. i was very pleased. It was actually my best parent/teacher conference ever. Well that's all I just felt like typing! :)

FACEBOOK!!!!!!

I pick up my Ipad first thing I do is click on facebook to see whats been going on today. Facebook here facebook there, facebook everywhere!!!!! FACEBOOK IS STUPID!!!! Here's my problem with facebook. #1 I'm just going to say i'm addicted. I know that you can limit yourself to when your on it and so on so forth. I don't want to limit it, i want to quit it. I have 2 kids at home who are only going to be little once. I should be spending the time with them instead of worrying about everybody elses life!! My #2 Problem with facebook is.... If something is going on in my "real" friends life, I shouldn't have to find out about it by reading it on a public forum. #3 you can delete someone from your facebook, but guess what? They are still there in walmart, or at school! Or even at your family reunion! Deleting someone will never solve a problem in itself. You shouldnt have to worry about your personal safety on a computer, and you should never have to worry about what other people think. You should be able to write or put what you want when you want. I like this blog because if people care about what i have to say they can read it here instead of people i barely know on facebook reading what i write. and finally #4 In almost every conversation i have, Facebook is brought up in that conversation. I feel like the world is revolving around freakin facebook! That just gets on my nerves so bad! I do like facebook being able to keep up with friends i went to college with and stuff, but i dont like finding things out on facebook that i should have found out in person or from that person to me! It may not last very long, but for now I'm going to try to focus on other things instead of everybody elses stuff. I'm too nosey for my own good. I love being nosey, but i feel like i have been too nosey sometimes. I hope you will follow my blog if you'd like to keep up with me! (which i may be back on facebook tomorrow hhahahahhahaha) One bad thing about getting rid of facebook is my scentsy business. I sell a lot of scentsy thru facebook! But I will give you all my phone number and hopefully you will text me! I may even have giveaways on my blog somehow. My conversations will no longer start with "did you see what ___________ put on facebook!!!" I'm sick of it. I do love facebook and I'm not sure what I'll do without it! HAHAHA! So if you need my number for scentsy please let me know. Maybe my blog will become more exciting also! I  may write more often maybe even put pictures. who knows! Maybe I'll just stray from communication altogether. lol. Next I should cut down on my texting... hahhaha NAH! It may be a day or two, but my facebook will be gone! I'd love to hear your opinions. And by no means would I ever put a person down because they have facebook. I honestly love facebook.... but it has made me become extremely nosey, and a little gossipy! Gossip is for the birds. But I feel like facebook has brought it further. Anyways I think you can follow my blog by email if you wanted! If you're not interesed thats fine too. I do like to keep in touch with my friends though. But my very very close friends I see almost every week anyways, so that's all I need! Thank you all for reading my blog! Maybe I can still feel special on here! LOL!

I've had a lot on my mind lately! But it all went away! haha! So first of all I'm going to invent a teacher toolbelt (tm) see i already have a patent! hahahaha! but really i really am. i spend half of my day looking for stuff. or maybe i could just be more organized. nahh you can be organized and still lose stuff. Teacher toolbelt it is. I can never find my pens!!! I lose them and can never find them. of course my pencil holder thing is FULL of pens and pencils and markers BUT I have my favorite ones and they are the only ones i use. therefore. i need a teacher toolbelt to put my pen in. along with bandaids.... oh and my center list. i always lose my center list at school. I would also put glue in it. i have a hard time finding my glue alot of the time. oh and tape! my whole classroom would be in my belt because apparently i lose everything. ok its not really that bad. mainly the pens. oh and in the winter time i would have tissue in it for the kiddos. nobody steal my idea ok. its gonna be too cool. so my masters.. hows that going? well its going good. i kinda love it. i have my own blog for that. we have to have a blog and she tells us what to put on it each week. we do like 4 assignments a week and thats it. its the same thing every week just over a different subject. we do a discussion board. and we have to comment on 2 other peoples. we have an essay to write and we do our blog. thats it. its kinda easy. just a little time consuming. i wrote a paper last night. I felt i did a very good job. it was about passion for our job. i had fun writing it. its kind of hard sometimes because you know how my runs so out of control, sometimes i have to slow myself down or ill be typing things that don't even need to be in there. haha. Ok serious talk. why are there country songs about exes, boyfriends, girlfriends, drinking, smoking, shooting, killin, blah blah blah.... how many songs do you hear about kids? hardly any. theres that one.... by that one guy.... about his kid had a happy meal and said a 4 letter word.... "My 4 year old said a 4 letter word, it started with s and i was concerned.... son whered you learn..." something something. and maybe a martina mcbride song... ok maybe there a few. but not very many at all. maybe famous people dont have kids? haha. so the other day i seen these people in walmart that i hadnt saw since i was like 14... i worked at the salebarn with them and the last time i saw them was when me and one of my ex boyfriends broke up... remember i was 14 hahahah! but i went to his football game anyways. isnt it funny that you can remember the last time you saw some people that mean the most to you. it was funny because i heard my name really quiet and i looked around and saw this old couple walking towards me and i was like OH MY GOSH!!!!!! and they started laughing and betty said "jim said that looks like shanda, so i told him to say your name kinda loud and see if you looked and if you did then it was you and if you didnt it wasnt!" hahahaha. you know i hate to hug people.... adults.... but i just hugged them and it was exciting. its exciting when you see someone you havent saw in a long time. you know what.... knock on wood... G has only been REALLY sick one time in her life and she was around 1..... she had a really high fever and it was just me and her... but she just laid on me for hours on end. i've never seen her that still. sick babies are so loving. Tonight she was throwing a fit.... and i swear it lasted an hour... i almost ran away(jk). It went from one thing to the next. first it was something i cant remember, then i moved the ipad so she wouldnt throw something on it, then she wanted the ipad, then the tv was too loud, then she wanted to call neena, then she wanted strawberries, then she wanted to jump on the trampoline.... it was a neverending cry! I mean nonstop cry for an hour and a half! she got plenty of spankins throughout this hour. i was so mad. but i told her she wasnt getting anything she wanted until she stopped crying.... and she kept saying why can't i do anything? hahahah i said ummm i said because you cant have anything until your done crying... then i kept saying can you hear me? can you hear me? she just kept screaming..... i said IF YOU STOP CRYING YOU CAN CALL NEENA, YOU CAN HAVE STRAWBERRIES, YOU CAN JUMP ON THE TRAMPOLINE. and shes still screaming..... i say can you hear me..... finally i was like ok apparently she cant even hear what im saying. so i started to ignore her. well then she got madder..... and says MOMMA........ MOMMA!!!! oh my gosh it was a long evening. the good thing is.... she hasnt had a fit like that in months... so i guess she was due for one... but good grief! an hour and a half??? really??? good night!

In case you can't tell.... I love to reminisce! Just now I was looking for something to watch on tv and I saw King of the Hill.. So i put it on there and just the music from the show reminds me of my stillwater days. Every afternoon at 630 I'd watch King of the Hill in my room in bed while i did homework! I looooved that show. It just seems to relax me. I miss stillwater. Ok this morning the worse thing EVER happened!!!!! I woke up and was talking to D and i all of a sudden realized that my retainer wasnt in my mouth! I started to freak out... (secret time... in case you didnt know.. my retainer has fake teeth on it! EEEEEEK) So I said OH MY GOSH!!!! and i looked on the night stand it wasnt there.. D looks in the bathroom i look in the kitchen. We looked everywhere. Well after about 10 minutes i remember i had got up in the middle of the night to pee and i heard something fall in the floor off of my shirt... and under the night stand... so i look under the night stand and there it was!! i was so rellieved! If I had lost my retainer, i couldnt go to work! I would probably cry and wouldnt go anywhere until a dentist could get me in... lol! I used to take it out to eat.. now i dont because im too afraid to lose it. I have bad dreams ALL the time! about losing or breaking my retainer. and its only broke once.. only one side of it. I've had it since January of 2007! so i've had it over 5 years and its only broke once and it was only a wire on the back so it didnt even hurt it. Ok so did anybody see my cake on facebook? HAHAHAHAH! Monday night we have to ice a cake and im kinda nervous about it. i feel that i should practice again but i dont wanna cook two more cakes.... when i still have this one left! I'm totally gonna embaress myself at class. So my online classes have started... so far so good. seems like it wont be too bad this time around. but im scared itll get tougher. its mainly introduction this week. i love the fact that i can look ahead all the way to week 8 and if i want to do it now I could go ahead and do it and have it saved! How cool is that?! and I have to make a blog!!! That's awesome!!!! I've decided I'm going into the shirt making business.... lol im ONLY KIDDING!!!! Isn't it weird how here lately I've been doing that.... Example: I wanna be a photographer. Another Example: I'm gonna make cakes... hahahahah! I just feel like i want to find more to do. anyways so i had to write a self portrait for one of my first assignments this week and Here's how it started... "Naptimes over, it's time to get up," my kindergarten teacher would say as we all woke up. As I rolled over, I looked to see if my Hershey's Kiss was beside me. I absolutly love this feeling! When we would go to sleep in Kindergarten Mrs. Stockton would put our candy beside us and when we'd wake up we'd be so excited to find it! I have been doing this in my class too. I'm tellin you i've never had a class nap like these guys. I have a younger group this year. But i started putting the candy beside them when they go to sleep and they LOVE to wake up and find their candy!!!! Just like I did. Mind you the good resters get candy too. They don't HAVE to go to sleep..... Anyways... hmmm. I'm already ready to get this masters thing out of the way. i wish you could just do it at your own speed.... and if you were slow it'd take you 10 years and if you were fast it'd take you 1 year..... that'd be awesome. I actually got approved for an unsubsidized loan... which is awesome... because one of these days i could get the teacher forgiveness and they will drop the rest of the loan.... and I'm volunteering for the YMCA in a couple weeks to get $3000 knocked off my tuition total... pretty cool! Welp Ciao!

This is gonne be a good one!

First off I want to start about yesterday! Yesterday was the weirdest day ever. I saw the weirdest things ever! First I heard the fire between colcord and west siloam on the scanner. And the guy was like yelling at the other guy. Then I was drivin thru colcord and all these trucks were at the fire department then there was this woman out in the front of the parking lot on the phone with her door open looking in her window at her vin number I guess. It just looked very strange. Then, I was driving on 412 back to Kansas and I saw this lady pulled over in a van... She jumped out of her car and was looking back down the highway and there was this other car back there with a guy out of the car too and she was like yelling at him... But she was wayyyy down the road. I don't know if she about hit him or what. Then I go in the store at twin oaks and this weird dude stares at me and says Hiiiiii How are you? HAHA! I almost busted up laughing. I just said good how are you and he took off out of the store. Then I got back outside and there was this one guy standing out of his truck then he got in and turned his hat around backwards. Then this other guy got in the drivers side of his car, then got out and got back in on the passengers side. It was very very weird. Then I'm in Gentry getting gas and there's this guy trying to push his vehicle across the parking lot. I woulda offered help but don't think I could push his truck..... anyways it was just very weird. Today I saw a jet ski on lake Eucha! Now that is weird. I dont think thats even legal. Anyways so today i was driving to Wal-mart and it was so peaceful cuz G had fallen asleep (FINALLY!!!) and so I'm listening to this Sugarland song "Already Gone" which brings back crazy icky thoughts from the past. I love that song but i hate it so much! The first time I caught the douche bag cheating on me, this song came on the radio. and i just listened to it a whole bunch. You know when your emotional and you will listen to a song over and over just so you can cry (ok maybe im the only one that does that). Well thats what i did then. It definitly doesnt make me cry now but then it did. and now i just hate it. but i love it. But i was thinkin about all these times i was so foolish. One time i was at a softball game and this girl was playing on our team and everybody kept apologizing to me about asking her to play while i was playing too... I was like oh no big deal I could care less. well i asked idiot why everyone kept saying they were sorry and of course he said i dont know...... well yea come to find out way way way way way way way after the fact I guess he was screwing her too... hmm. Then this other time when I was like 8 months prego (I will not mention names) but these 2 people (boyfriend and girlfriend) came over. Well they decide to take off on my dirtbike and our fourwheeler. Well moron and the girl were on the fourwheeler today and the other dude drove my dirt bike. Well they were gone FOREVER!!! and i kept goin outside and listening to see if they were coming yet. Well like an hour later they get back and the dude is bleeding.... So they said he wrecked my dirtbike, because he swirved to miss a cow. This was like 11 o clock at night by the way. So then the dude and the girl are fighting and i have no idea why. But dumb butt just says they are fighting cuz the dude is drunk. Well so the girl and dumb butt are outside FOREVER! She's sitting in the car and hes talking to her. While the other dude is sitting in the house. Well then a day or two later someone tells me that dill weed's brother told her that he took a girl to the creek on the fourwheeler and screwed her. Then it all sinks in!!!!! This is how good moron is..... He gets caught, gets in a fight. Then tries to scratch up my dirt bike and say that the dude wrecked it! and that's how nieve i was! The girl that told me that I said that's not true. whatever. well then after the fact of me finally catching him in all the other lies i realize OH MY GOSH!!!! THATS WHAT HAPPENED!!! geez don't you just love it when you wake up and figure things out. I can think of another incident or two where i think hello me! Duh! Now I'm hearing that there's some stuff going on with the girl hes married to now and it just makes me sick because I know how good he is at brain washing people. And She is gonna think everything he's doing is ok. Someday he's gonna find a woman that will beat him back and throw stuff at him. Hopefully it'll be a cast iron skillet!!! HA! oh and the sad part is... he's doing it in front of his kids and they're the ones telling that he's doing it! super sad. that's why my child goes nowhere near him. And as far as i'm concerned, she never will. I think I would run away, far far away and get arrested before i let that happen. He can definitly make me sound like a bad person BUT he's psycho. Why are all my blogs about this certain person? I should stop that. But sometimes I just get so frustrated with my choices that I just need to yak it out somewhere before i blow up! I actually think that's exactly why I needed a blog. sometimes i fume and fume about how STUPID COULD I BE??? But thank God it has turned out like it has. So today I get like $300 worth of groceries (GOOD GOSH!!!) and I get home with all these bags and I'm like ok wheres all this crap gonna go. So I start cleaning out the cabinets and there's things in there dated from like 2010 I'm like ok this has to go! So now my cabinets are all clean and there's plenty of room! So maybe I won't have to buy groceries for a year now! Except I get home and I'm making biscuits and gravy and I have no stick butter. Isn't that lovely! Gah I hate when I forget something. I love when I feel like I clean something though. haha! i used to love to clean. I would keep my moms house clean for a whole week and she'd pay me like $20 a week. it was so awesome. Now I kinda hate to clean. I have to be in the mood. You know what else i remembered today. I was drivin by the show barn in jay and I remembered like 8 years ago when i turned 18, the show started on my birthday and we had to load our calves and take them up there. Well i went to school for a bit cuz it was my bday then at like 9 i left and i hurried to andersons to buy a can of skoal!!! just because i could! I could not wait to get up that morning so I could go buy some skoal. ha how dumb. but with that.... im out!