once upon a time........

Once upon a time, there was a perfect world. Oh wait.... no there wasnt. ha who am i kidding? Ok I'm going to avoid the ranting.......... and go straight to something else.. So apparently some people do not know about the divorce... because I've had 2 people at work say something to me about D... and it's so awkward... i just shake my head and say uh huh uh huh uh huh... lol! So you know like a couple months ago i was miserable and crybabyish and feeling sorry for myself and all that good stuff.. but now i'm fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! Not really but i am. Me and Dustin are still friends and I'm very thankful for that. I can still talk to him anytime I need to and I think I've come to realize that the things that weren't working for us, never would work for us..... Maybe in 13 years I can marry him again.... lol. Although that's a long time to be alone. After thinking about some things I've realized there were even more things that weren't right in our relationship... but it's too late to fix them now right.... AAAANNNNYYYYYWWWWWWAAAAAYYYYYYSSSS I was talking to a friend about this and she told me one thing that I wish i would've looked for before my very first marriage.... she told me something that really meant a lot to me.. of course this isn't always true because apparently some men just don't show as much emotion... buuuut she told me that one day there would be a man who "worshipped the ground I walked on".... and you know what I think she's right. Someone out there needs me... whether it be dustin in 13 years or someone else...... This is kind of corny and dumb.... but for real.... I've noticed myself being "too needy" several times in my life..... you know what it's ok to be alone because i'm free to do whatever i please... but one day someone will just love everything about me and make me feel like i'm the greatest thing that ever walked the earth... I will not be looking for love.... because i know it will come to me... and if it doesn't i guess oh well... at least i have friends...... Let me tell you something sad though... This year I don't like Christmas...... I haven't been in the christmas spirit. The main thing I want to do this christmas is to make someone else's christmas...... and make someone else happy... Because i'm not the only person spending christmas alone. I'm not the only single parent alone with their child just watching how happy their child is on christmas morning! I'm sure there are many stories worse than just being alone. And at least I get to see how happy G is..... and make her happy... that's worth quite a bit... i'm sure some kids don't even get to open christmas presents. okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk anyways................ there i go being a crybaby again... but im done now.

Have you heard???

Have you heard the rumor? HAHAHAHAHHAHA! RUMOR say that out loud... that's a really funny word! About as funny as the people who start them. I've always been told to not care what people are going to say but my goody goody gumdrop keep your mouth shut. If you're going to start a rumor please let it be about someone else other than a person that I haven't seen in 4 YEARS!! And possibly someone I might be interested in..... hahahahahah. i'd rathers not hear about myself being with a psychopath or a pathological liar. But just so you know, nothing like that happened....... thanks for that though..... i enjoyed it. Soooooooooooooooooooo WE HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! WHY????????????? I was so excited to leave G at my moms and get a peaceful drive to school where I could sing super loud and bust my ear drums and then get out about 11:00 to go home...... Ah well...... Week 6 of this class! and I'd rathers write a blog than do my homework that's due tonight! haha. But guess what?!!! 2 more weeks of this then I get off for break and start back in January for One class! then Capstone and DDDDDDDOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Here's My Secret

Are you ready? This is something you'll never expect. Ok.... Me and Dustin are no longer together. Yea weird, stupid, dumb, whatever you wanna say.... Talk about me now please...... Here's the truth: we're still friends and he's a GREAT guy! I still love him and I always will..... But apparently we are just two people who don't belong together... i guess? So I'm confessing this now so when you see it in the newspaper one of these days, you won't say "what happened" here's what happened....... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.... understand? hahahaha! just kidding. but really... that's something that shouldn't go public and if i've told you or if dustin has told you, then it's your business.... but don't be offended if you ask me and i tell you it doesn't matter... So now for the sympathy part.... I've been living by myself for 2 months.... it sucks, i'm lonely and yes i'm at my parents house all the time, so go ahead and judge me on that too.... but i'm bored, all the time. I hate to be on a break, I love to be at work because it keeps my mind off of things and i stay busy... at home i have nothing to do and when i get bored i get sad.... so i stay where people are all the time, so i don't start thinking about stuff...... Anyways........ that's the story.. don't ask any questions please, because seriously one time someone asked me about it and i started bawling.... do you wanna see me cry? If you don't then you better not ask me.... I mean really I'm ok... but at the same time I'm not.... The only reason i posted this is because I didn't want anyone asking when they seen it in the paper... and the second reason is because when you ask me about dustin and I don't know the answer... i can't lie about it anymore. So there's the news.... great huh.... no not really. Let me tell you what sucks. It sucks that when you're 16 you plan out your entire life.... getting married, having 3 kids and being married for the next 80 years..... and raising your children together.... then life smacks you in the face and you've been divorced twice and once again your raising your child on your own..... That's what sucks. but i guess God has a plan for everyone... although it's hard to look at it that way sometime.... it's the truth. And it's something that has to be accepted. Ok anyways I have nothing else to say... I should do my homework now... hey it's been a while since i told you I HATE SCHOOL!!!! NEVER GET YOUR MASTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! But hey listen to this.... After this class, i have ONE CLASS LEFT!!!!! and then my capstone and IM DONE!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the homework is getting harder and harder for me to do.... stress with life plus i just dont have a want to do it! but you know what.... I WILL!!!!!!!!!! Because once upon a time someone said I would never finish with my bachelors degree and you know what i did! When people say I won't do something.... I HAVE TO DO IT! People will not determind my life..... that is my choice..... alright... I hope everyone has a good thanksgiving....

holy cowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Well can you beleive it's been that long since i've wrote a blog post? I've been thinking lately that I needed to write one, but not until I had the right words to say. I've had so many negative words I would've wrote if I would've wrote any sort of blog post in the past 3 months. The past three months have been the longest three months of my life! Well actually now that I look back, it's went by really fast! I forgot that school started 3 months ago! Can you beleive we've been in school for 3 months? not me! and its almost thanksgiving and almost christmas and i had a birthday and I'm 27! that means i'm practically 30 which means i'm practically 100 which means IM AN OLD LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh really? before you know it i'll be dead... haha! Well I decided I'm not sharing any news in this blog post.... because i don't have time. I can't beleive my baby is going to be 5 in 2 weeks..... that's just insane because yesterday I was at the hospital holding my newborn.... :( boo hoo! boo hoo! ok i guess maybe i will come back later and type the important information, just don't have time right now!!!!!!!!!! have a lovely freezing cold day!

It may be a rant day!

hello bloggy, nice to see you, its been a looooooooooooooooong time... you're just as lovely as you used to be!!!! haha! that was fun. so today i feel like ranting! so you can call me a ranter! FIRST OF ALL! TO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO STUCK HER TONGUE OUT AT ME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LUCKY I DIDNT RUN OVER YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahah. just kidding but let me tell you about this... so today i stopped in the road to let two little girls cross the road on their bikes, oh how nice of me RIGHT???? yea that was nice!!!!!!! i'm soooooooooooooooo nice...... then one little girl proceeds to ride her bike across, stops in the middle of the road and sticks her tongue out at me!!!!!!! talk about maaaaad!!!! hahahaha. the bad thing is G seen it... and shes been doing that lately and i whoop her for it so now she probably thinks its ok because the litle girl in the road did it to a complete stranger! Even though we talked about it and she said she was going to stop doing that. but anyways after i thought about it, i told my mom i should've just stuck my tongue back out at her!!! HAHAHAHA NOW THAT WOULDA BEEN FUNNY!!!! but really. if you're kid doesn't respect someone they don't even know, then i'm sure they don't respect their parents. but then again she is just a kid and they do stuff like that. but my gosh it didn't make me happy!!!! Next on my list..............i get so sick of judgemental people! You know what who cares what my hair looks like and who cares what i'm wearing...... i'm still the same person! i dont like to fix my hair and i like to wear comfy clothes! shorts and a tshirt and I LIKE IT AND ITS COMFY SO QUIT STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!! haha ok that was fun. i was yelling in my mind. This happens at school it happens at walmart. I know that its peoples nature to judge but seriously stop. i'm sure i do the same thing but i dont stare. i dont like to dress up, when i do dress up then people still stare and wonder why i'm dressed up but then i feel paranoid cuz what if my boobs are hanging out?? hahahahahah! what if my fat roll slipped out the side? ok i think i'm done now!!!! Enjoy :)

im backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Well it's been so long.... and i'm supposed to be doing homework but id rathers type like crazy instead of all neat sophisticated typing!!!!!! So let me tell you about my masters...... since the last time i mentioned anything about it i was going to quit! haha. Well that class that was so terrible that the instructor gave me 2 F's.. I actually got really close to getting an A in the class... buuuuut i didn't... anyways that's the class that made me want to quit and i think it was just the instructor she didnt like me or something because in the last class i took i got a 99.7 in the class..... almost a perfect grade! and in the class im in now i'm making a perfect grade almost at week 4... soooo yea. i'm happy now! After this class, I will have 2 classes in the fall and then 2 classes in the spring and IMMMMMMMMMMMMM DOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! can you beleive that????????? can you? can you? can you? I CANT! but i dont know what possessed me to want to go back to school anyways because i really can't stand it. I need a break and every wednesday and sunday night i find myself at this computer griping about having to do it when it was my choice to do it in the first place.... ohhhhhhhh but one day ill be a millionaire because i'll have my own school that will be a famous school...... and ill be famous and thats all... ok probly not but still. we can all dream. Speaking of dreams.... you know what i dream about all the time and i absolutly HATE DREAMING ABOUT IT???? (has nothing to do with my retainer or my ex).. BASKETBALL! It makes me so mad when i wake up and realize ohhh yea that's over and i can never play like that again!!!!!!! WHen I woke up this morning, they were just about to announce my name.... and i awaken... yea sucks. then i wake up all sad. i dream about it all the time though.i wish i still played basketball or softball... thats the only 2 reasons why i miss high school. So I was watching super nanny the other night and you know what? she said the f word!!!! i actually rewinded it and then pushed record so i could show d that she did that! she said it to the kid! that's even worse... she said "and stop this f-ing around!" I was like ohhhhhh my gosh! well its weird that i have a lot to talk about and then i start typing and then it all disappears. well i have to tell you i went to a workshop last week in OKC......it was pretty amazing. You know how school is these days? Pre-K is teaching Kindergarten stuff... and they are expected to know so much before they go to kindergarten... but you know what... 4 year olds really aren't ready for all the stuff we do in pre-k! they can do it sure... but they aren't ready for it. we need to be building on other things such as fine motor, gross motor, hand eye coordination..... ya know... the basic simple stuff...... we are cramming stuff in them so hard that they are expected to learn wayyyyyyyyyyy to much! but we have to teach it to them because if we don't then we fail because they aren' ready for kindergarten..... it's kinda a lose-lose situation becuase some states are even losing all their recess..... and that's just crazy! that is why there are so many children being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD these days..... Not only did this workshop help me, but getting my masters, i did a research simulation about Play in Early Childhood... and my research question was "Does the amount of playtime a child gets in a day affect that child’s behavior or learning capabilities during circle time or learning time?" This is something I stand very strongly behind because in the class before this one I done a lot of research about why play is important and there were so many reasons why we shouldn't eliminate play.... but I feel that is what it is coming to..... and it's very sad becuase we are robbing kids of their childhood. that's what kids are supposed to do is play.... and we are taking the only thing they know away from them! For instance.... Even as adults... we work work work, sometimes we need our "play" time or our "me" time. Can you imagine how much play time children need if adults need that much. we're forcing them to sit in chairs... when they should be up and moving! If they aren't at school, they come home and sit in the chair and play nintendo games.... not good.... anyways off that soapbox... I'm ready to be done with school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know what I love? SQUASH!!!!!!! I have squash plants and they finally started making me some squash and now i have too much. I also have tomato plants that i wish would hurry up and make me some tomatoes because I LOVE TOMATOES!!!!!!!! I could live on tomatoes! Let me tell you something funny..... last week for our blog assignment.... (note: this class is about culture and diversity) we had to pretend that something happened in the US and the survivors had to be moved to a country that we knew nothing about.... we could take three things with us and only three things.... let me tell you what i picked! HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I bet you can't wait!..... #1 a cow.... #2 a gun.... #3 a bull! HAHAHAH! I read other peoples blogs and they were like... i'd take my bible, a photograph of my family and money.... hahahahah! I mentioned that I was thinking about the future.. if i had to move to a country.. you'd have to make a living somehow.. therefore I'd raise cows and shoot a steer to eat! Food to eat and cowhide to keep me warm... haha. But then i re-read our assignment and it said 3 small things.... so i commented underneath it that i'd take money, a gun and SWEET TEA!!!! hahah these people prolly think i'm crazy.. but that's ok because i am. But really imagine that happened to you? You couldn't just take material things... they aren't going to get you by.... you have a picture to look at and a bible to read (ok i can understand a bible but i'm sure they give them away over there somewhere). but you have to think about life in the future... not memories of the past... Sure you'd miss your family, BUT if you beleive in God, you will see them again (woooooaaaahhhhh, this is not where it ends... i will carry you with me... woooaaaahhh til i see you again... hahaha) Ok so I have 8 minutes because drop dead diva is coming on... and I can sit in there and pretend to do homework but really be watching drop dead diva.... i stay up til about 2 am anyways so i can do it then... lol! I'm trying to do it but my hands wont stop typing!!!!!!!!!!! Ok someone wants koolaid and apparently I'm a maid... so I'll go now so i have time to make koolaid before drop dead diva! YAY! BYE!

It's just that kinda day...

Well here we go... First of all.... I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE READ MY BLOG!!!! WOW! I love it. You know why I have a blog.... because I can gripe all I want and if you talk about me... it's your own fault... its your choice whether you look at this or not... Unlike facebook when the griping whining and complaining shows up in your news feed.... yea thats not me... So if you're gonna grip about my whining... please don't read... hahahah! So I have to tell you I've pretty much cried the end half of the day... D got up and went to work this morning while i was asleep.... so it was ok.. He text about 830 and wanted me to come take him to the doc... so i got g up and we went but then his dr. appt. wasnt until 1030 so we waited around... went to dr. he released him for light duty at work and dustin called his boss told him... dropped the paper off with him and told me to take him back to work... and guess what i do??? I CRIED!!!!!!!! like a big fat baby!!!! for 1 i was mad.. because i just knew after the dr. me and d would get to hang out alone for a while... but noooooo he wanted to go to work... needless to say he didn't tell me he was just going to talk to the safety guy from the city and fill out an accident report...and be home in 2 hours. And you know how men are... he couldn't understand why i was crying... well hmmm lets see.. the last time i kissed you good bye for work.. i got a phone call and thought you were dying.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I cried all the way to his work and when I dropped him off and all the way home. Then i was fine when i got home just sat on the couch with the tv on mute! haha it was so quiet... I never get this silence.... Then I heard a truk pull in and i'm like whaaaaaaaaaaaaat is that him already??? and then he came in and i started crying again! THen he said... if it makes you feel better i'm not going to work tomorrow... AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! ISN'T THAT JUST PRECIOUS!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Ok now that you've read my crying confessions pretend you never read these.... because remember............ I DONT CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm tough and I never cry! Remember that............... OR ELSE!!!!!!! HAHA

Honey, I love your love, the most!

Ok.......... this one may be a little sappy and sad............ So... You never know how much you take for granted until you almost lose something that means so much to you.... like my blankey... i lost my blankey! HA JUST KIDDING!!! I briefly told you on facebook my hubby was in an accident. So here's what happend. He was brushhogging on a hill on the turnpike when he turned and started going down a hill, tractor popped out of gear and flew to the bottom of the hill, throwing him out of the tractor.... I heard when the guys got down there he was face down in the rocks.... i may have died if i would have found him like that.... i would never want to find anybody like that. anyways he was unconscious. Long story short he got stitches and 14 staples in the back of his head, and stitches in his face under his eyes with lots of bangs, scratches and bruises. Also a severe concussion. He's moving around well today... especially compared to when we left the hospital and he was about to fall over walking out of there. Don't tell anyone i said this but me and my dad were fishing and when i got a call and then called to find out what happened.... we turned around and hightailed the boat ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER END OF EUCHA! I didn't want to cry because you know there's those things that won't let you cry when certain people are around... yea my dad is one of them.... I've only seen him cry once in my life at his sisters funeral and hope i never see him cry again... but I feel like he doesn't need to see me cry either.... lol! weird i know... but when I got in my truck and headed for the hospital i bawled all the way there..... just thinking... what if he doesn't make it? what if he's not ok? I was so relieved to walk in the ER and see his eyes open! I just wanted to bawl from relief. So today, he's well. Very very achy and sore. We actually went to town to buy some new shoes for the kids and he did well except for when i hit a bump.... it hurt him really bad. his ribs and insides are killing him.... but overall i must say wayyyyy better. Now... here's the bad part... today.... i kept telling him i wanted to go see the tractor and i don't think he wanted me too or he didn't want to or something, but finally we went down there.... and it was at the bottom of this MONSTER hill throught the fence in some rocks..... that's when it hit me how bad it really could have been....... i mean it was bad.. but he's so lucky to be alive! the front axle on the tractor is by the back tire..... i just got such a sick feeling from seeing it. it was terrible. I just couldn't imagine what he was thinking when it happened. But I've been home with him ever since it happened on Friday. We were home all day saturday and then today we went to town. He wants to go to work tomorrow but I DONT WANT HIM TO!!!! I don't want him to leave. I feel like a little kid who's mommy is about to leave her at school! I don't want to let him go!!!!!!!!! I need him by my side!!!!!! Let me tell you this... He never wants me to lay right by him... but earlier he said i'm gonna come lay by you... and he tried to get up but he couldn't and he said well maybe you can come lay by me.... it was the sweetest thing ever! i said awwww you never want me to lay by you!!!!!!!! that's so sweet!!! hahaha. corny but you just gotta know him.... I can't let go of his hand. I feel asleep last night right beside him holding his hand. I'm gonna cry when he leaves. HOpefully theyll send him home! I told him I was going with him cuz he couldn't drive.... but i dont think i can stop him. i dont want him to go!!!!!!!!!!! It should be the law that after something this drastic happens that the person must stay with their spouse for at least a week! maybe a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways the point is Today I'm a very thanksful person. What would i do without my husband???? I thought about that all the way to the hospital! Of course you always think the worst even if it isnt the worse. It could have easily been worse. But Praise God it wasn't! Ok now my homework is done... I better go slave some more and take him a Popsicle! HAHAHAHA!

Guess what time it is?????!!!!!

HOMEWORK TIME!!!!!!!!!!! And this time i've waited even later than usual! because tonight its a hard one. So while I'm NOT DOING MY HOMEWORK... let me tell you my complaints now...... who made the decision that women do the "housework"? It's ridiculous. Apparently women have to do the things that are repetitive... and men do things that change. I get sick of this laundry, dishes, cooking, dishes, sweeping, cooking, dishes, laundry, cooking dishes, picking up after everybody, laundry, cooking, dishes........... get it... yea its the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..... while the men sit on the couch and watch tv. I guess what they do is repetitive to... lets see...... eat, dirty their clothes, throw their clothes in the floor, eat, sit on the couch watch tv, throw some socks in the couch, popsicle wrappers in the window seal or floor, eat, dirty some more clothes, sit on the couch again........ if they wouldn't do that stuff, women wouldn't have to do their repetitve stuff. ok so i'm not griping, i just think it's funny. my husband does work and is never home actually because he works all the time. but when he is home that's what happens... lol. It's just weird how when I'm doing laundry or dishes and I think didnt i just do this??????? haha. buying groceries is stupid too. Here's what i need: a green house, a milk cow, and some steers to butcher ever now and then. But someone would have to teach me how to grow hominy because thats about all my husband eats.... that, potatoes and meat! but i would love to be able to grow tomatoes, potatos, squash and green beans year round. that would be so cool! I'd never have to grocery shop! And I HATE milk, i only need it to cook with. i think i could live off of meat, potatos and tomatos. yea that would be cool. anyways. i cant even grow those things when they're supposed to be growed so i probly couldnt do it in a green house either.... lol! So drop dead diva is back on FINALLY YAYYYYY! TV has been pretty boring the past couple of weeks because I only watch bachelorette mondays, voice whatever night it comes on and that was it! I need army wives to be on sundays, bachelorette monday, voice whatever nights, teen mom 2 whatever night that came on, greys anatomy thursdays. Yea i love my tv. but only the good shows, thats the only time i watch it. I do watch it at night and i've been watching LMN.... hahahah awesome lifetime movies!!!!!!! They keep me up til 1AM! I start watching the 11:00 one and its over at 1............ so needless to say for the past month I've not been going to sleep until about 2 AM.... haha thats baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. what am i gonna do when school starts back? i guess i can try to go to bed early but who knows if thats possible. luckily g has been sleepin til at least 9 everyday and sometimes later. i kinda hate summer. i've been so bored! i need a job. I just run around all the time. i haven't been home at ALL! i need to do more swimming though thats for sure. my arms are the only place i'm tan at. I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED TO TAN!!!!!! ok. im about out of stuff. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT WANNA DO HOMEWORK! hey good thing is this is week 7... next week is the last week of the class and the hard assignment for next week is just this weeks assignment revised... so if i do good this week i wont have much at all to do next week.... hmmmm i should get busy. ok im done then .......... i guess......... but i dont wanna be..................... i guess i should stop.......... and do my homework......... nooooooooooooooooooo

don't read this or you may cry... it just so happened to do that to me!

Ok I'm selfish. You know why? Well I heard that my papaw (Dow) was really sick (like deathly)... and yea it makes me cry. I am selfish because I can't even imagine going and seeing him the way he is. I can still remember watching the video tape at christmas time when ma maw was alive and we were waiting for dow to bring in the presents and we were all chanting "papaw papaw papaw" such a sweet memory. I can't imagine distorting that image of him. It would make me sad to see him in the harvest house not being very healthy too. I am selfish because I know if i went over there to see him that I would just BAWL!!!! I'm crying just writing this..... I can't see what use it would be of me going to see him... because it would just be a pity party for myself. ok so i had to take a break. for some reason i have this thing that i can't let people see me cry... i started bawling so i had to go take a shower so no one would see me. that's another thing if i went over there i would be all baby.... but you know i'm sure there are a lot of people like this. Here's the deal... i havent even been that close to him in the past several years. i would hug him when i saw him and everything but i never went to see him. let me explain that part.... That house (i guess he still lives in the same house) reminds me of my mamaw. I think i was only like 5 or 6 or 4 i really dont even know, but i remember after she died we went over there and i got to pick out a stuffed animal of hers and i still have it. For some reason I got the ugliest one ever but yes i still have it! Just like everytime i get on an elevator.... i ALWAYS and i mean EVERY TIME, i think about mamaw... because i can just remember going to the hospital to see her and riding on the elevator and my little tummy tickled. I don't even remember going in the room to see her or anything like that... i ONLY remember the elevator. just like the house... i only remember christmastime and us chanting for papaw to bring the presents out and the time i got to go pick out an animal... There's one more thing i remember about that place... when my aunt anita lived there and I guess she was about to move or something my dad went over there and killed a dog for her that she couldn't take with her i guess... i remember anita just bawling.... and then i can remember him shooting it and then taking his hat off, pulling his pants down and putting his hat over his butt (this is something only MY DAD would do!!!!) hahahah! I haven't even been down that road since those times. I drove by it once and I'm like now i don't remember that road being like that.... anyways just some memories. OH how they make me cry... and I better stop or i'm gonna get caught! I know that he has kids and a wife that love him dearly and may not like what i'm saying.... surely they won't mind right? I do love him and I know they love him so much and are suffering dearly... bless their hearts. But those are my memories and I think I'll just stick with them.... I love you Dow David! Ok I posted but had to go back and add some...... Some people didn't even know I was "related" to dow... so let me explain how... and what it got me thinking.... My dad's mom was married to Dow before she died... so he was like my step-grandpa.... we called him papaw.. and my dad's mom we called mamaw... OK so when i was in the shower i was thinking... I am an ex-step-mom to two little boys... would I want them to come see me if i was dying?? hmmm makes ya think right? It's not about me... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHh I HAVE TO STOP!!!!!!!! GOOD NIGHT!

Just a little venting... not too much...

Ok so where shall I start? people who don't pay me back? people who whine and gripe all the time? people who act to be a Christian but still do certain things? or those freaky helicopters that fly right above your house? hmmmmmmmm should I keep going? Ok first of all.... if you owe me money and I've asked you nicely to pay me back two or three times, i'm not going to ask anymore, I will just write it down as a loss on my part. Even thought it's a hundred plus dollars... but I'm telling you when I see you putting something on facebook about someone ripping you off or taking your money, I must refrain from commenting.... UMMMM THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!!!!! I do know that sometimes people can't get the money to pay you back, but hey just say I'm sorry I don't have the money right now? or possibly I will never pay you back, but I can return your product to you, that will work too. But the whole "ignore me" thing just doesnt set right with me. And here's another one.... "I've been trying to break a $20 to get change so I could mail it" really?? you're not supposed to send cash in the mail and I know you're not that stupid! This person owes me like $28 and told me several times he will try to send it soon, he just hasn't had time. Yet, they have time for facebook? When i se them post EVERYTIME i just wanna comment... "umm can you please take one moment and put my money in an envelope and send it to me" but ya know what oh well.... it's always the people you think you can trust that you CANT! but i guess life goes on. God forgives... so can i right? but..... GIVE ME MY MONEY!!!!!! lol. ok that vent is over. I still really like both of those people by the way. I never see them anyways, but if i did i'd still say hi and act like nothing was wrong because that's how i am. I'm afraid to ask people after I've already asked them that many times, i feel like i'm never gonna get it anyways. ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOO you know what else i hate? people who whine and gripe ALLLLLLL THE TIME!!!!!!!!! if its not one thing its the next (sounds kinda like me huh?) haha! The only difference is I whine and and gripe in a blog post so people only read it if they want to... they aren't forced to read it on their news feed!!! I'm not like this.... It's cold... I whine... it's hot... I whine.... (ok maybe i do... lol) anyways.............today must be one of those annoyed type of days. Maybe i'm annoying but GUESS WHAT???? YOU CHOSE TO READ THIS!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T FORCE YOU TOO!!!!!!! SO DON'T TALK ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH ONLY KIDDING. talk about me if you please. just don't let it get back to me or i will talk about you.... haha! You know what I noticed the last time i wrote a blog post? I read it the next morning and realized exactly how random i was.... I went from one thing to the next without even finishing the last thing i was talkin about. wow my mind... crazy thing i tell ya. hold on let me look on facebook and see if i can find something else to gripe about..OH I DID!!!!! I just seen that there is a sherri thomason on facebook and she has a profile picture??? I bet her daughter did that! That sherri thomason lady told me she would NEVER have a facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!! um um um sherri!!!!!!!! You know what else.... the last time someone told me something would never happen... that happened also........... um um um..... A.T...... ok back to real life. ok actually in real life i have nothing to talk about.... lets go back to imaginary life.... I have a headache...... OH YEA!!!!!! GUESS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?????????? Remember last night was wednesday... and my homework is due on sundays... I DID ALL OF MY HOMEWORK!!!!!! I'm done like 4 days early? that never happens im gonna have to try that again next week. I don't have to sit in front of the computer sunday night for 4 hours trying to do my assignments. I only have 1 thing left to do, but i can't do it until the other people post their stuff so i can comment on it. that's what suck i have to wait on other people to do it and they wait til last minute... lol. Who does that? WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!! oh yea.... i would... ok moral of the story........ *If i owe you money... please tell me.. i would never not pay someone back on purpose.... *If you're whiny and gripy on facebook, I'm deleting you... i mean only if its constant... if it's just sometimes, i'll let it slide because we are all whiny and gripy sometimes but not ALL the time! *NEVER SAY NEVER!!!! *DO YOUR HOMEWORK EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey that was kinda cool... it was like at the end of a chapter in a textbook and it gives you a summary... now i just need some review questions.......... lol

yabba dabba doo!

oh my gosh its been so long! not really.... but it feels that way! Tonight I got my homework done before 6:00! Isn't that wonderful! I looked at my homework for the rest of this class and it didn't look bad. only 4 weeks left! And guess what? Still all perfect grades! That last professor had a problem...... that's right she was mean! anyways so As i was doing laundry earlier i was thinking...... Remember the day they said the storms were going to be really bad. They kept saying it was like a powderkeg..... yea and i was up until 230 AM? and it barely rained? but well I stayed the night at my moms that night because it was supposed to be really bad ya know? So before I left home I made sure I cleaned... dishes, floors (swept and mop), laundry.... and then i thought about it... If a tornado were to hit my house i WOULD NOT want my dirty underwear to be seen! HAHAHAHAHA! so I made sure all the clothes in the house were clean!!! anyways but then i got some stuff and got ready to leave and i was thinking oh man what if this is the last time i see this house standing?? I mean we had tons of warning that it was gonna be bad... those moore people had little warning... and it defintely got us to see what could really happen.... so see there's God..... It happened there... and now we are all VERY PREPARED for when we have a chance of tornados like that. He's saving our lives.... I stayed the night at my moms for no reason.... it didn't get bad at all. now the night before on the other hand was very scary... we even got in the cellar! and i can only remember one time before being that scared when i was a kid... and we had to go to the milk barn because thats all we had.... now lets talk about the night before... yea it was fun! This is why God creates these situations.... let me tel you why... you know EVERYONE used to know there neighbors... walk to the neighbors and ask for flour.... well now noone knows their neighbors... (or at least i really kinda dont) (well actually i do) (HAHAHAHA) anyways my mom and dad had all the neighbors on top of their hill in their cellar.... let me tell you what all led up to this... first it was just me mom and the woman neighbor... dad and the woman neighbors husband were outside... well it started POURING and HAILING they were about to come in but i guess they decided not to and the door SLAMMED close and busted my eardrums.... then they got in there... we had the door locked... just 6 of us.... well dad was talkin about that old tree falling right on the door and us not being able to get out... and then all of a sudden BANG..... BANG BANG..... BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! then finally we realized it was someone trying to get in! HAHAHA. at first i was like omg... theres a tornado and stuff is hitting the door! well we opened it they get in and stink like wet rain ya know cuz they been running in the rain.. haha! and then it gets really muggy in there and im about to pass out because theres too many people in such a small space and oh my gosh it was just terrible.... but i lived... thats the good part. overall it was fun. Then we had to go drive around and look at the damage before i went home... anyways it was fun... let me tell you i like an adrenaline rush... its like playing in a state championship basketball game! what a thrill! speaking of basketball.... i had a dream that night that i was playing softball.... and i was catcher and i had to get all my gear on but for some reason i didn't have my cleats on and coach odle was already yelling at me... and then i stepped on a piece of glass.. and part of it came out and then i put my foot down on the cement to wipe some blood off (while he was still yelling at me) i really put my foot down so he could see the blood but i dont think he cared.... well then i looked again and the glass was still there.... well then i couldn't even walk... then i woke up... and you know what???? MY FOOT HURT SOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!! but you know it was only my imagination. ok im done i guess

I don't think I can get it all out!

HAHA Out of my mind that is.... I have ALOT to talk about. blah blah blah blah blah blah! Ok really though first of all I have to tell you that in my new class, I'm already in week 3 and I've made nothing but perfect grades so far! Remember the last class I took and I was making like 1.5/4 or 2.0/4... that was ridiculous! This instructor is so much awesomer and she gives us awesome feedback on exactly what we wrote, not random crap like the last lady! and she also told us if we don't do good on an assignment she will have us redo it... I emailed my last instructor and asked her if I could redo it and she told me no and pretty much that I was stupid... in a nicer manner.... and you know what I forgot to evaluate her... ohhhhh shes lucky! I probably refrained from evaluating her because I knew I would do and say bad things. It's not good to evaluate someone bad, i would feel bad, maybe I'm just that stupid... but really 50% on like 3 assignments when I've never made a freakin F in my life!!!!!!!!! Yea RIDONCULOUS! yea I said ridonculous not ridiculous. Ok now let me tell you something thats been on my mind a lot lately.... Have you ever wonder if you are where God wants you to be in life? Did you follow His plan or go with your own? I have recently learned from a friend the true meaning of being a follower and how you should wait for God to clearly show you what you should do. So I've been wondering.... is this where I'm supposed to be or where I want to be? Another thing... I have seen and heard and listened to a few people talk about "Where was God" during the tornado.... and they all came to the conclusion about not to celebrate that God was with you... cuz he wasnt with someone else? Here's the deal though... if it happened to me you're dang right I'd be Praising God for protecting me.... whether it bothers someone or not... HE was the ONE who protected your hiney and you better bet I'll be praising HIM!!! He's protected me and my children more than once in my life and while it may have harmed others... I could care less.. It's between Me and God.... BUT now where was God with those little kids in that school who got killed? That's hard to say but you can be dang right he was there. He was probably welcoming those children into heaven before they were even gone.... This world contains so much evil that maybe he was saving those children from something. Or maybe he is providing an eternal life for their parents... There is only one way those families will see those children again and that is thru Jesus Christ! Maybe they didn't know him........ Maybe they hate HIM now... but you know what... I know someone who was mad at God and it led to one of the most God praising people I've ever known in my life. There is something good to come out of that. I do have one complaint..... There should not be 20,000 houses in a 30 mile radius.... or however far it was.... that's a lot of houses in a small area!!!! If their houses were as spread out as ours in the country... it wouldn't have been so much.... I mean i know there are places bigger than colcord american... but still. Here's whats weird.... you see all the hosues destroyed and then one right across the street that isn't even damaged.... one leveled and one not touched.... weird... Maybe those people pleaded the blood of Jesus over their house.... Hm. Who knows? God is amazing and works in very amazing ways.. you just always have to look for the good in a situation. Although I'm telling you I would have a very hard time finding good out of a situation if my children were killed. that would be so hard... I do pray for those families and of anyone that died... super sad. Anyways........ hmmmmmmmmmmmmm so i had a yard sale and made like 300 and some dollars! Cool huh! 300 and some dollars worth of junk! Oh yea another thing.... actually no i better not say it... maybe i should have a private blog that only i read... then i can vent some more.. lol! Alrighty................................................. GOODBYE!

AH HAHAHAHAH! THIS IS HYSTERICAL!

OK so first of all i have to tell you, i've been seeing these blogs that are all cool looking. They are pretty and organized and spaced and stuff, mine are all munched together. Like i can push enter several times so theres space between the lines and it still jumbles it all together. Dang i wanna cool blog..... (Gonna push enter three times here....) Ok so now for the hysterical part... I'll just get straight to the point before I tell the whole story.... I GOT BUCKED OFF OF A PONY!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ISN'T THAT HYSTERICAL?! HHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!Ok now... G wanted to pet the pony but she wasnt going to ride it because last time she fell off of it cuz the dog bit its tail.. so i went and got it and said wheres the saddle? G said no i'm not riding it... so i didn't put the saddle on it, well she pet it and she was done, so i thought... i didn't go all the way out there to get the pony just so she could pet it.. so i tied its leadrope so it was like a bridle.. and hopped on... well its back is really little and narrow anyways so i was trying to get situated... finally get situated and say come on .... and make the kissin noise ya know... well he dont go so i barely kicked him on the belly and all of a sudden i thought he was just going to take off running... but it was kinda like a run stop and buck type thing that i was nowhere near prepared for... and next thing i know im face first in the ground.... hahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Well i'm laying there thinkin about how bad my legs hurt cuz i hit the ground really hard..... and my mom is just busting out laughing..... so then i start laughin and g is on the swing set bawling......... i guess she thought i was hurt.. i dunno. but i was laying there almost crying but laughing at the same time.... When i finally get up i go get the pony in the pen find a little rock and chunk it at him... and hes lucky it didn't hit him.. because it hit a pine tree and bounced off of it really hard... then mom proceeds to tell me that all their ponies they had when they were little just had 1 eye.... and I'm like hmmmmmm i wonder why???? NOW I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! Theyre stupid! next time i'll be prepared to hold on... hahahahah! I seriously couldn't beleive i just got bucked off..... i was in pure amazement. So the earthquake you felt tonight... yea that was just me.... no worries. I probly won't be able to get out of bed tomorrow! I bet my mom just can't wait to tell my dad I got bucked off that pony. I think that made her day. I said mom what if i broke my legs? she said I'd probly still be laughing because that was funny! geeeeeeez. So as i'm driving home down the dirt roads i'm thinking about stuff.... because i think alot, if you haven't noticed. And actually i'm thinkin about men... HAHAHAHAHHAHA! MEN! anyways you know what i LOVE about men (well, some men)... VEINY HANDS! isn't that weird. that comes second to teeth..... This sounds weird... but my cousins all have really veiny hands... and you can see the veins go up their arms... i think its REALLY cool! i love veins. i think they're cool. HA anyways.... Now actually heres what i was thinking. i wish when i thought about stuff i could just say it and it type it on my blog.... cuz sometimes i have really interesting stuff in my mind..... Like this...... When i was a little girl, i thought bruises were so cool! I thought they were so cool that in 5th grade, I repeatedly punched myself in the face so i could have a black eye.... ok so that sounds bad... but of course i wasn't hitting myself hard.... that would hurt. i just sat there and tapped my fist below my eye because i wanted to look cool.... to this day i still love black eyes! I've only had i think 2 black eyes in my life... and guess what? They were both from baseball! Once my uncle threw the ball REALLY high (it's weird that i still remember this) i was probably like 8 or 7 or 6 or something i was young... and i tried to catch it and the sun was in my eyes.... or something... and the ball smacked me right in the eye ball! i thought i was so cool! FINALLY I HAD A BLACK EYE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH. at the time i didn't think it was cool because it hurt so bad, but then you know you have to go look in the mirror to see how bad it looks. ok the second time (weird i remember this one also) i dont think it was really my eye... but i do think it got black around that area.... i was playing a baseball game and you know i was the pitcher (because i'm awesome.... or WAS awesome) i was probably 10 this time... and there was a hit to the outfield they threw it home and the catched missed it, so i ran home because the 3rd base runner was running home... and the catcher threw it to me hard but the sun was right in my eyes.... and it hit me right in the temple (well not right in the temple or i would've died) but i think i was knocked out for a minute cause i remember waking up to the umpire in my face asking if i was alright? AM I ALRIGHT? DO I LOOK ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! haha. well it left stitch marks on my head..... now that was REALLY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was pretty soon after that when my mom made me stop playing baseball and i had to go play sissy softball with the girls! dang her..... it was only because they all tried to hit me when i batted, because i struck them out. That sounds sarcastic but i'm being serious...... they really hit me almost everytime i got up to bat.... they hated me. I love how i can remember things from baseball, those were the best years of my life. I remember having a crush on a boy..... and i think one time i cried becuase it was our last baseball game or something and i wouldn't see him no more.... HAHAHAHAH! i can still remember some of their names... tucker.... and ummm there was a ben.... ha thats about all i remember.. i just remember it was so fun! i wish i could be a kid all my life. isn't it sad that you have to grow up..... not really but really! well i hope my spaces worked... if they didn't they'll be all jumbled............ sad face.......... good day matey!

Issues and Trends in Early Childhood---------------------> MISSION COMPLETE

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT YEA!!!!!!!!!!! IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE!!!! CAN YOU BELEIVE IT! I ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS COURSE! I have never hated a course as bad as this one. ohhhh boy i cant wait to evaluate that teacher! heheeh. would you like to read the last paragraph of my assignment... oh wait speaking of my assignment i must turn it in to my eportfolio... one moment while i submit that.....(I sounded like those people you call to cancel stuff huh? "One moment while i take care of that for you... ok can i help you with anything else today?") "Throughout this course, I have struggled quite a bit. Through this struggle I have dug deep inside myself and pulled out the true me. I have always been taught to never give up. In spite of these struggles, I’ve come to realize they are nothing compared to the struggles some children face everyday. Whether it be the fact that they are facing poverty, racism, hate and oppression or the fact that they have autism, bipolar disorder, mental retardation or some other disability. My struggle is nothing compared to theirs. It is an option for me to continue through my struggles or quit and be completely struggle free. For these children, it is not an option. They are starving, naked and cold and they can do nothing about it. So I have come to face the fact that I will continue to struggle by my own choice to better educate myself on these children’s struggles, so one day I can make a difference and maybe protect children from these types of struggles. I may not be able to help every child, but I will do my best to help every child that I can." Isn't that just precious... Believe or not the world doesn't revolve around me. That is one thing I've learned an abundance about in this course, about poverty. So you know tomorrow it's back to real life.... gotta love it! I had an amazing three days away.. a very lovely drive on the way up there, great conversation, great friends... and last but not least... MMMMMMEEEEEMMMMMOOOOORRRRRIIIIIIEEEEEESSSSS! haha. I so wish we could've watched that baseball game, but since we didn't at least we went back to the stadium and got forms to fill out for a refund! THANK GOD! I'd hate to pay 48 bucks for NOTHIN!! And i also got to practice changing a flat tire on my tahoe. I've never had to put a spare tire on the tahoe. of course i've changed many flats, but never on the tahoe..... so getting the spare tire down took about 20 minutes and the rest took about 5... hahahah. that was probably the best part of the trip... luckily at least one person with me knew how to help... while the other 2 directed traffic.. lol! just kidding. It was a fun memory... and a great trip. at least we made it home safe... right? Yep safe and sound and slept amazing until about 930 this morning in my own bed! Alright now that my stress is OVER, i will get out of here and actually relax for the rest of my sunday night! WAHOO!!!! Hope everyone has a lovely week!

I'm An Inventor!

Ok so you know I'm getting pretty creative. First of all, remember my little "teacher toolbelt" (Patent Pending) that I was going to make because of that terrible invisible person in my classroom that ALWAYS steals my pens!!!!!! Well today while teaching color words, I decided I need to invent crayons, that ONLY have the color word on them in big print! Teaching color words would be so much easier if they did this! They could be called "Teachable Crayons" or "The Crayon Box That Taught" (instead of talked... lol!) (Patent Pending... HAHAHAHHA)Oh my gosh I'm a genius (did I spell that right). While I'm at it I may just write a song! If I wrote a song it would have to be about how perfect I am... and how ridiculous everyone else is!!!! hahaha jk. Isn't it weird how YOU (talking about me) are normal and your friends are normal but a lot of other people are very weird.... hahahah. I mean really... to the other people, i bet they think YOU (not talking about me here... haha) are weird. It's weird how everyone thinks their beleifs (that's spelt wrong, i before e except after c) are right and other peoples are wrong. Who is to say who is right? I feel like I'm always right... unless I'm wrong of course, but you know what I'm never wrong. and if i just so happen to be wrong (which i never am), then I'm not very happy, but I'm always happy cuz i'm never wrong.... get what i'm tryin to say there.... hahahah! Remember when I started the blog how I stated I have to start a blog because I like to blab... and my friends don't like me if i blab, so i start a blog... haha only kidding. I blab all the time, in fact I never shut up. I mainly love to tell dreams.. you know why? because the dream is so clear in your mind and when you start to tell it.... you are reminded of how it is alllllllll weird and you shoulda never started telling it in the first place. That happens to me everytime. It goes something like this "so last night i had a dream and we were at the milk barn... no wait this is weird... actually the milk barn was at school... no actually it wasn't a milk barn... It was just a school that had milk stalls in it... ok now i can't remember what else happened" hahahahah you know how dreams are sooooooooo weird!!! I love dreams, but I haven't had a dream in a long time... usually if i do it's about me losing or breaking my retainer.. (which I MUST have or i could possibly die)... or some ex scumbag trying to find me or suck up or make up to me or something like that. but about 3 or 4 months ago i dreamed every night and it was so awesome! I LOVE dreams! anyways................... wow haven't been blabby in a while. Soooooooooo. I started this to talk about my inventions and it turned into this... but at least now you know how perfect I am! Right?

why hello there.......

ha! what an intro... so do you remember at the beginning when i started the blog how i mentioned my mind wants to blow up when it gets soooooooo full....... well guess what? it's been how long since I wrote a blog post? so yea.... my mind.... on the verge of blowing.......... wayyyyyyyyyyyy to much crap going on right now! I hate grad school! next week is my last week of this class and Praise the Lord I'm done with that one! That teacher is soooooooooooooooo not nice! (Hope I don't accidentally post this on my school blog that we have to have..... that would suck!) I'd definitly get an F then.... This is by far the hardest class I"ve had yet. I thought oh man this is a piece of cake.. until this class and I try my best and still get freaking F's on assignments! Then I'll get 100%'s for a couple of weeks then back to F's..... I think she's picking on me. She is being very bias and grading based on her opinions and not being open to the ideas of others..... yea anyways.... I actually get a week off after this class... then back to it again... But if my NSU crap gets figured out, I'll be there this summer instead of the other place. So I'm supposed to be doing an assignment right now that's due tonight... but guess what? HA IM NOT!!!!!! ok so you know used to i'd write a blog like every sunday night because I'd be up all night doing an assignment.. well here i am again. I feel like if i blog before i write then my mind is clear of everything I'm mad about or worried about or anything like that. Man this coming week is a big week!soooo busy! You know the last week of this class is the week of the "major assignments" that must be submitted to the eportfolio.... which means they have to be gooooooooooooood! and i just so happen to be unavailable this coming weekend.... therefore I MUST get it done before this weekend!!! By this weekend I pretty much mean has to be done WEDNESDAY!!!! that will probly never happen and I'll be up until midnight next sunday night doing the same thing I am tonight except minus the blogging because I will actually HAVE to get it done or I will fail the class. I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about this...... but i guess ill stop! So lets talk about yesterday..... first went to a tball game.. how fun... next played basketball against the harlem wizards.... now that was fun. but bad.... because now I wanna play basketball again!!!!! I think we should start having a monthly game for a fundraiser or something... that would be fun. It was totally a blast and those guys were really funny. You know what would be real cool... like a league of basketball put together that consisted of old teams.... like and we could play kansas vs. colcord.. but the old teams! that would be soooooooo fun! of course were all old... but who cares it would just be for fun and be fun! And the money could go toward the Pre-K fund.... HAHAHAHHAHA just kidding. You know when you have those times in your life you feel like you should be doing MORE with your life.... apparently I'm at that stage. I guess that's why I'm getting my masters... so i can go and do MORE for early childhood. I love teaching pre-k and the main reason is because it's not like you have the same job every year.... my job is different every year because the kids are different every year...... you will never have 2 kids that are the same... and its fun. My patience has seemed to go downhill since I've began though... but i think its because all the crap that has went on in my life since then and now..... i need to relax a little more... sometimes i am way to strict and i totally know that... but sometimes there are those kids that you need to get strict with to get the point across.. the main thing i love about my job is the way you get to see the kids change throughout the year and how much knowledge they gain.. and also through the years.. my very first class is now in 2nd grade.... and i love to see how big they are and how much they've changed... can't wait til they're seniors... well maybe i can because that'll mean i'm old! Let me tell you what I love about playing sports when my daughter can watch me... after the game i said "was that funny? did you like watching mommy play?" she said "yea!" I said "so are you gonna play ball when you get big?" she firmly said "NNNNOOOO!!! Not against those guys!!!!!" HAHAHAHAH! i said no no you won't play against those guys.. itll be people your size.. she was like ohhhhhh... I feel like if she sees me play and sees that i enjoy it and she enjoys watching it that she will play it too. She better! D keeps saying .... your gonna be a cheerleader like your mom! I'm always like noooooooooo i was not a cheerleader and if you're a cheerleader i WILL NOT come watch you!!!!!!!! hahahahahha. nothing against cheerleaders of course... if you know me, you know cheerleading is not something i like..... at all! Alright better really do homework now...........

Wow it's been a while!!!

Wonder if someones thinking about me right now??? Hahahaha just kidding! I can't go to sleep!!!!! You know why?? Because I got my homework done 24 hours before it was due!!!!! Does this ever happen??? Ummm no! A whole day early!!! I barely get it in in time. Let me tell you what's weird. Last Sunday I wrote a 12 page paper for my eportfolio, for some reason that to me was so hard I needed a whole week off, so I started my new class Monday, and had discussion due n Wednesday, I didn't wanna do it so bad that I copied several other people's posts together and made a new post! Oooooops I added a lot if my own opinion, but I couldn't get the video to load either so I had no choice but to cheat...... But it wasn't really cheating cuz I still had to write my own opinion on the facts in the video... Anyways so I did all that being lazy and then I planned in slacking in my application due tomorrow.... But i sat down tonight and I did it!!!! And did an amazing job I must say!! Especially After slacking all week on that stuff!!! On Tuesday I decided I wanted to quit.... It's soooooo much to do!!!!!!' And I soooooo don't have time for it.... Bt you know what when it's over... Ill be glad I did it! I'm almost halfway there, can't quit now! Ok so I'm still ecstatic about having my assignment dine earlier! So let me tell you my life story.... Last week I hate healthy almost every day, and I gained a couple pounds so I thought you know what... This isn't worth it.. So Monday and Tuesday of this week I had a dr pepper and one of those big maple logs for breakfast.... Well on wednesdayni felt SOOOOO FAT!!! So I said ok I'm going to eat healthy the next two days... And I did! String cheese and a banana for breakfast, smart ones for lunch and not too much for supper.... Well I'm not losing any weight!!! I've even been walking a mile on Thursday and Friday.... Come on!!!! I just wanna weigh under 140...... It's such a struggle to get there...gah who cares! I gonna eat some more donuts.... Haha only kidding.. Like my mom says my butt is gonna be 2 ax handles wide.... Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That could be from that Oreo pizza I had on Wednesday night!!! Anyways... I have had so much on my mind and wanted to sit down and type so bad... But when I sit down it seems to just go away.. So apparently it's not important... Ok guess ill try to sleep now...

Life is like a box of chocolates.... Or toothpaste tube.. Lol!

I have a photo to upload but it won't let me on here! It's a pic of our toothpaste..... It's been all scrawny for like a week now... Like we have to get every last drop. Hahaha. It's funny because earlier when I out it on my toothbrush I was thinking I don't know what I'm gonna do when this runs out! Haha! And then I was thinking man sometimes I feel like this toothpaste... Like I've had the life sucked out of me. I read in a magazine the other day about a lady who gets up at 5 every morning just to enjoy the "me" time, and she even mentioned how much she loved her sleep... This sounds like a great idea! I try to get every minute in I can!!!! Usually I'm in bed til like 7:08.... Hahahaha and I leave around 7:35... I LOVE my sleep! But I stay up late too! Maybe if I go to bed early I could get up at 5.... But I doubt it... It sounds like a wonderful idea... Just wished I drank coffee then it's be perfect! Haha. I ate 2 of those caramel eggs a while ago man I'm gonna get fat!!! Hahaha! I have to stop eating so much! When im at school I eat good but when I'm at home for a whole day bam that's gone!!! You know what else I read??? That exercising doesn't make you lose weight..... Exercising makes you lose inches.. To lose weight you have to eat right also..... Hmm. I'm not cut out for eating right. It sucks its like when I turned 25 I started gaining weight when I eat bad! I used to could eat and eat and eat and not gain a pound.... Now it's not like that at all! Today was the best day off Ever!!! Me and g were home until like 230! Then we had to take some movies back but she was an angel! I think she's finally last those devil fits.... Last time I said that she had one right after that. Now just have to get the whining to stop!!!! That is sooooo annoying! She has to get shots this week! Ahhhhhhh noooooo! I'm going to cry!!!!!! I told her though... I didn't want to hide it from her. I think she will be prepared a ready since she knows, instead of her not knowing and them pulling out the needles! I could see her freakin out if that happened! Man I had a lot to say! But it's too hard to type it on the iPad!!!!! My class is almost over! I so can't wait. This is the last week for stuff and then next week I just have one assignment and its a major assignment that I have to turn into my portfolio... But so thankful it's almost over. Then a new class begins! I haven't wrote a blog post in forever!!! Bt I have to stop now and go to bed! Maybe ill get up at 5! Haha NOT

The Importance of Play (My week 4 assignment- letter to the editor!)

Dear Editor: Have you ever made a mud pie? Do you know what a mud pie is? Of course you do! If you’re old enough to read this, I’m sure you’ve made a mud pie before. The question is, have your children ever made a mud pie? Most would answer probably with a no, but why haven’t they? Children would rather sit in front of the television, Ipad, Ipod or computer than to go outside and play. I hear Mrs. Obama speak about eating healthy and having a healthy lifestyle, but if we are in school for eight hours a day and stuck inside for 7.5 of those hours doing paperwork or busywork, then how can we be healthy? Physically? Mentally? Look at this research project done by Phsychologist Harry Harlow. “Interested in the role of play in socialization of young monkeys, Harlow took away their natural playtime, keeping them in social isolation for up to six months. When he reunited these monkeys with their normally raised peers, they exhibited aggressive social behavior like biting and hitting, as well as autistic-like qualities of rocking and avoidance. However, with the addition of a half an hour of playtime, Harlow found that the socially awkward monkeys could be re-socialized to be comparable to their peers. So, that leads me to wonder, “Is it possible that our kids are like these monkeys?” As they miss these experiences in their childhood, will they become less flexible, less able to agree upon and make rules with their peers, and more aggressive?” (Warner, 2008). Have you ever wondered why there are so many more children in elementary school with labels now than there was 50 years ago? Today, children are forced to sit in a room doing paperwork after paperwork, made to constantly follow directions, all because play is unnecessary. People like to think that academics are more important. The Common Core is pushing teachers to do more and more paperwork so there is less time for other things. I can remember when preschool was just playtime, you were lucky if you’d learn one letter. Kindergarten was meant for teaching letters and more playing. First grade was meant for reading. This year my class is very brilliant and I have started them on reading. I have a preschooler who is able to sound out words and read books on his own! There is only one problem, “Pushing children to perform at a level they aren't old enough to handle increases behavior problems and failure rates and takes away from a focus on the importance of play, which is what 5-year-olds really should be doing. Playing is the best way to learn social skills and self-control—which just might result in kids deciding that they really like going to school” (Shute, 2009). Our state website even stated, “The development of motor skills is essential to the total growth process of children. Current research indicates that movement activates the brain and prepares it for learning. The outdoor environment is the natural place for this to occur” (n.d., p.40). Hand-eye coordination, balance, strength, endurance, negotiation, turn taking, role playing, vocabulary development and social skills are just some benefits of play. Play is the best way in which children learn, not only young children, but also older children. I also read that our body produces Vitamin D from being outside in the sun and you can meet your Vitamin D requirements this way. “Vitamin D is important to the body in many other ways as well. Muscles need it to move, for example, nerves need it to carry messages between the brain and every body part, and the immune system needs Vitamin D to fight off invading bacteria and viruses” (Vitamin D). I found this very interesting because it seems important to be in the sun! If you have a Vitamin D deficiency, your brain and muscles may not function properly. That is one reason why I would love to see older kids having class outside or going on nature walks. Now that I’ve explained how important play is, can you continue giving your school children paper work? There are better ways to handle these things. Children learn better when they are able to put their hands on it. For example, instead of doing math papers, put shaving cream on the kids desks and let them draw math problems, solve them and then “erase” them by smearing the shaving cream back out. There are many different ways to do this. Remember, we are trying to save trees, so slow down with the paper work and get your hands dirty! References Oklahoma Department of Education. (n.d.). The early childhood learning environment. Retrieved February 2, 2013, from http://ok.gov/sde/sites/ok.gov.sde/files/EarlyChildLearnEnv.pdf Shute, N. (2009, April 7). Kindergarten Tests and The Importance of Play. [Blog message]. Retrieved from http://health.usnews.com/healthnews/blogs/onparenting/2009/04/07/kindergarten-tests-and-the-importance-of-play Warner, L. (2008). "You're It!": Thoughts on Play and Learning in Schools. Horace, 24(2).

i love the fact that i wait until 8:00 every sunday night to start my homework that is due by 11 sunday night! HAHAHAH IM AN IDIOT!!! i had to keep singing to myself "i like myself, i like myself" hahaha because i was thinkin man i hate myself i'm so stupid why do i wait until 3 hours before its due to EVEN START ON IT!!!! anyways i got it dont. way early too. it was pretty easy. i thought it was a lot harder than what it was. sure when i was done it was 15 pages long... but it was still easier than i thought hahahahah. here's whats weird: after sitting here fretting over how terrible i was doing and what the heck am i gonna write next.... when i'm done and i reread it, I'm thinking DANG this sounds professional and I'm kinda proud of myself and then i want to print it off and post it everywhere for everyone to read. These classes are hard and they beat me down and make me think i'm so dumb, but after i do the stuff, it reall picks me up and makes me think dang did i do that? Makes me feel good about myself to know that I can write something THAT GOOD! HAHA! anyways. If you'd read one, you'd be amazed. especially after writing on here with no capital letters except for HAHA and .... and !!!! haha. i actually can type normal. i'm just too lazy especially having to double space, indent, .5 margin, 2 spaces after a period.... hahahah APA is ridiculous! and after all that typing... i still have time for a blog post. how fun. i should get my butt in bed because ill not be able to get up in the morning. its so hard for me to get out of bed. probably because i stay up so late. i should start going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. that might work. but i doubt it. don't you hate when you have dreams and when you wake up they seem so real...... i really HATE that. and especially when you think about it all day. and you're like i know that really happened. ok no more! Ciao

Ok I'm in bed early tonight! You know why? Ok the number one reason is because I stayed home with my stinky butt kid today (and I mean stinky butt.... Will explain later) and she didn't have a nap so she was in bed at 745.... She went to sleep pretty quick, poor sleepy baby! The number 2 reason is because I wanted to watch a lifetime movie!!!! I've gotten so addicted to them! Only problem is they have commercials when they go to commercials I fall asleep and miss the good part! The one on tonight doesn't look very good! Ok now on to my stinky butt child... Well Tuesday she threw up all day, and had the runs. My mom told me how bad it stunk but I didn't think it could be THIS bad... So we leave moms and get almost to the bottom of the hill, and SHE POOPS HER PANTS!!!! She says "I'm poopiiiiiing" I said what? Your pooping? Well stop!!!! Are you still? She said yes and was about to bawl.. And I busted up laughing!!!! Then she laughed instead.. But she had the runs SSSOOO BAD! And it smelt TERRIBLE!! Worse than a dead animal! Poor baby! Luckily she had the poops this morning... But hasn't pooped anymore. So I think she is all better! So this morning I was layin in bed waiting for her to wake up and I was watching tv playin on my iPad and I had it propped up on my leg and it fell and hit my lip and it hurt SO BAD!!!!! I coulda said a bad word! Speaking of ba words... My mom French braided my hair and it hurt SO bad! I seriously felt like I was gonna pass out! I said several bad words I couldn't control them.... My head hurt so bad... It was like I wasn't in there.... I think I almost died! Actually dying might have been less painful!!!!!! Gah! Ok hm what else have I thought about today? I guess nothing.... It's supposed to freeze drizzle In the morning... OH speaking of that colcord is out of school the next two days! Geeeeeeez!!!! So I have to do an observation and interview this week for my class.. I'm so unprepared! Haven't even looked at the assignment .. Oh but in 2 weeks, I get to "Write a letter to the editor designed to educate members of your community about the critical role of child-centered curriculum and play in children's development and learning. Cite specific references and give examples that illustrate your thinking." I am super excited about this!!! I have SSSSOOO much to say on this subject!!!! I may even send it to the editor.... Hahaha jk only kidding! But I've been talking about this for a while now and I'm ready to spit my opinions out so someone can read them!!!! Here's what's strange to me... The other day I heard some negative comments about our school.... I'm gonna be honest.. In my classes, when I talk about our school, I always say we have the best elementary school in the county (other than grove....lol).. I really think we do! Others may not see it this way, but if they seen how much work and money we put into what we do, they would change their mind.... I feel sometimes that I push my kids too hard, but I want them so bad to learn what I'm supposed to teach them... Even though sometimes it just takes maturity to catch on.... Some kids aren't mature enough to learn their letters (or whatever) yet.... Therefore need another year. And by no means is another year a bad thing.... It will only help them in the end... Anyways back to what I was sayin... I don't know much about the upper grades, I DEFiNITLY know they work hard cuz they are ALWAYS at school before I get there and after I leave for quite a while. They have a lot harder curriculum than us for sure, so I guarantee they work twice as hard! I absolutly love where I work! I don't think I could ever have a job that I would love as much as I love this one.... It's just Sooo relaxed and laid back, everyone is down to earth and friendly.... I LOVE my job. I can't say that enough. Why am I getting my masters? I absolutly love what I'm doing..... I'm sure one day it'll get old and ill HATE everyone I work with and they'll hate me back.... Hahahahahaha jk... But I'm sure I'm not always gonna wanna be a pre k teacher. Man I feel like I'm ranting.... That class just opens my mind so much! Brings a lot of insights to me. It's weird this year things are soaking in so much faster with my class.... Seems like when I first started it took them forever for the kids to learn to write their name!!! Right now mine can all write their first AND last.. And we're working on middle name! I've NEVER had them write their middle name..... But they have mastered first and last names.... Might as well give them an extra boost since they have already caught on to that so easily! Ok welp hope my rant isn't annoying.... Oh wait it always is! OH WELL!!!!!! :)

OMG!!! Tonight is the best tv night EVER!!!!!!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE monday nights!!!! I just cried on the bachelor. it was sooooooooo precious!!!! at 9:00 teen mom 2 and Lizard Lick towing comes on!!! YAYYYY! and then catfish at 10! YESSSSSSSS PERFECT NIGHT! today was a much needed day off from work! I went to walmart and spent a good day in town. soooooooooooooo i have to tell you.... if you use cream of mushroom or cream of chicken soup quite a bit.... go to campbellskitchen.com and click on coupons, print off the $1/5 of soups or whatever and go to walmart right now they're .75 so you can get 5 for .55 each.. which is cheap because its REGULAR priced $1.25 per can!!! so GO NOW!!!!! it's on sale from thanksgiving and christmas stil, but i'm sure itll go back up soon!!! i have like 30 or more cans.... that i've bought. as soon as i can print more coupons ill get more too because itll keep forever and its cheap! yes... that was my coupon queen moment!!! You know what I forgot about how exited I was!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in the 3rd week of my class and the first week was only discussion... Which was AWESOME!!! Last week we had discussion, blog, and an application.. which was a workshop outline.. we had to create a workshop for teachers that talked about why its important to get parents involved.. and then a 3 page reflection! Anyways on my week 1 discussions i got 3.75's on both. on my week 2 discussion I GOT A 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In case you dont remember, on my last class my first few weeks i just got 3's and 3.25's it was soooo hard to get 4's. and now I've already got a 4! SO EXCITING!!!!!! This week for our application we have to do an observation, when parents are around... so like when they bring their kids in the morning.... i guess. anyways itll be fun hopefully! I decided today I need to sit down and do all my applications so they are ready to turn in.. that way i'm not up til 11 every sunday night doing homework! I'm sooooo bad at that. maybe ill get better. it's just so hard... because i'm too tired every night, i'm just ready for bed and i can't do it when G is awake. let's see... anything else? hmmmm.... i had over half my class out of school last week with sickness... craaazy! 2 days i had half of them gone. thursday they helped me clean my whole room.... it was fun!!!! alright i guess i'm gone now!

IM AMAZED!!!

Right now I'm 100% amazed! I just asked my husband if he would ever adopt a kid.. And he said yea... I said WHAT????? Then I thought oh I bet he thinks I'm talking about g... so I said "you would? Like between g and p's age?" He said "yea."..... I'm shocked! I totally thought hed never even consider that!!!!!!!!! That kinda made my heart melt...... Awwwwwwwwwwww! My husband may have a heart....... That's precious! I would never bring another child into this terrible-becoming world (unless its Gods plan of course) but I would totally love to help one that is already in the world and needs someone! Now this was NEVER in my plan... But some things have been brought up and I've actually thought about it..... Whether it will ever happen.... I dunno, BUT if its meant to happen, it will! It kinda makes me happy to think about... Anyways.... That's all! That's just made my day almost! :)

new years resolutions..... cuz everyone has them!

Ok my new years resolutions are kinda insane! and I will probably break every one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! last year i made a resolution to dress better and dress myself up more... did that happen... well maybe at first but that was like unrealistic! HAHA! I wear nice clothes to work and what happens? I get paint on them and theyre stained and RUINED!!!!!!!!! i might as well have wore my nice clothes to the milk barn! So if anyone wonders why i never dress up dress up at school its cuz of that! and maybe im a little lazy at 7 in the morning... I've been thinking a lot in the past week about what i need to do better this year. and then today i was driving and i was thinking about things that would make me a better person! I was thinkin about those times in walmart (or AT SCHOOL) when you see those people you really DONT wanna see..... and you either get your phone out and look at it, act like your looking at something, or act like you don't see them..... I'm going to make it a point to not make myself miserable over things like that. I will stare them in the eye and they can be the ones to pretend they don't see me because honestly thats annoying and immature(even though i do it all the time) We are all adults! Unless i see a certain someone somewhere then i will probably be hiding! HA! but that is very unlikely to happen since i havent seen that person in like 3 years. My sister asked me last week to go to church with her.. i said no and my excuse was to sleep in! sorry excuse.... if Jesus slept in, we would have no forgiveness... nothing to look forward to in life... no heaven in the future! instead HE AROSE!!!!!!!!!!! good testimony ehh? I just thought of that all by myself sitting here on my lil ol blog typing words! haha. but really i should arise as did Jesus.. and get my butt to church! I shall find a church and go to it! all the time! I don't think i've ever been a member of a church.... in my adult life i know i never have. i've been to the same church quite often but never became a member of any church.... I don't like to be the center of attention and they make you go to the front of the church....... how embaressing! haha jk. But you know what i'd like my husband to go to church too.... but he would never attend the type of church i like to go to! He would think they were crazy! haha! Nothing against ol baptist churches... but i like churches that sing and you can feel the presence of the Lord! I've been to baptist churches that say.... ohhhh do you feel the presence of the Lord... and my answer has always been NO!!!!!! but at the kind of church i like.... yes i do feel the presence of the Lord. anyways. next my resolution is to LOSE WEIGHT!!!!! doesnt everyone have that resolution? But really i need to lose some weight and look better that way i can wear nice clothes and not look fat! no im not fat at all.... but i weighed 120 when i graduated high school.... i'd love to be 120 again and be able to run and have all that energy again! i would love to run a marathon or half marathon or 5K or 1 mile! hahahaha! ill stick with the mile for now! Now, you guys may think I'm crazy..... BUT.... I would love to have my own business of some kind.... and really I would like to start my own preschool type thing... not a daycare because I'm not a babysitter. I love to teach kids and see them actually learn something. I push my kids hard because I want them to learn! I really never see that happening but it sounds fun. I would at least like to move up somehow in the early childhood field. Not gradewise... I honestly don't think i would like to teach kindergarten or higher... too much testing for starters.... and they have curriculum.... i like doing my own thing.. what i want. I don't have to be on the same thing anybody else is on.. i can teach what i want when i want... i love it. I have the best coworkers anyone could EVER have where i work at. I would love for them all to come teach at my new school.. HAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!! I told my sister the other day... wouldnt it be cool if you could invent a town... fenced in with HUGE fences.. and noone could come in or live there unless you invited them! and this town had target, walmart, harps, old navy and all those good stores? and noone had to work there because the only people that lived in your town were honest people that would leave the money for what they took in the cash register. hmmm interesting. Now here's a good one... sometimes i just let people run over me and say what they want.... and i get very irritated but i just hold it in and keep the anger to myself but sometimes it all adds up and i just wanna BLOW UP!!!!!!! I have to stop doing that. Then sometimes, I see such happy families and I wish i had such a happy family... people think i do... and i do....... BUT sometimes i feel like i'll never be accepted... (by p) and i feel like i just don't belong here. he never wants to stay with me or do anything with me or when we go somewhere (all of us) he always asks if we are going and if d says yes.. he'll just be like awe man... and i get very mad sometimes...... i should stop because he's a kid and theres no telling what people tell him about me and i don't care honestly... but OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON but ill stop just in case........... but it's really hard to go from my first marriage and practically raising the two kids i mean not really raising them but they always wanted to be with me to this marriage and the kid not wanting anything to do with me. Maybe its a part of me... me not wanting to be close to someone elses kid because of what happend the last time i got close to someone elses kids..... i dont know... but i really do treat him like my own...... i mean i try... if he'd let me i would... our family is like me and g... and then p and d... and people probly think i'm a bad person cuz i never take him anywhere with me... but i ask... i ask him all the time to go with me and he never wants to... there's so many things i want to say that have to do with this subject but here i go again holding it in... maybe i should let it out and i would feel better.... nah.. it would be like i was bad mouthing someone and i dont wanna do that and have everyone else read it. i'll just say some people just arent cut out to be moms.... HAHAH! and i'm talkin about myself... (NOT REALLY) sometimes i lie on here just so people don't think i'm talkin about them.... hahahahahah. i may not be a good mom but you know what i try! I could NEVER go a day without seeing my daughter and you know what I NEVER WILL!!!!!!!! and thats my new years resolution!!!!! hahaha. If i see my daughter being mean to someone you can guarantee she will be in trouble.. she seems to be tender hearted.. the one thing i truly love to see that i have instilled in her is to not lie! Sometimes when she doesnt wanna tell the truth about what happend she will say i dont remember... but then she will bust out bawling and tell the truth! She NEVER lies!!!!! that's one thing she better not EVER do!!!!! I was thinking last night that i was gonna make a resolution to not say ANY CUSS WORDS this year.... you think i can do that? i dont think i can... sometimes i get so mad at g and her whining that it slips... alot! HAHA! but i have to quit doing that and losing my temper with her.... i need to learn to stayyyyyy calm! count to 10! haha. but you know sometimes i have tried that and just tried to go to the other room and she will follow me screaming yelling at me!!!! and then i get even madder.... haha. anyways. so were you able to read my resolutions in all that jumble...... i hope not because i probably wont own up to any of them. i've had a lot of things on my mind lately... so this was fun because i havent wrote a blog in a while. guess what i have one more week off from grad classes and then bak to work! the two weeks off have been wonderful OH AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!????? I GOT AN A IN MY SECOND CLASS ALSO!!!!! so far I have 2 A's I'm so excited..i bet they just get harder and harder. but maybe not..... hmmm. alright i reckon thats all!!!! I have another new years resolution too i forgot! I need to save money!!!! Actually I'd rathers buy some cows first and then make money off of them to save.... that way i can spend all my paycheck! HAHAH! I need to buy a house this year! My very own house! I've never owned a house! neither has my hubby... maybe this is the year we will finally own a house! hahaha. alright ciao!!! by the way did you eat your hog jowls and black eyed peas? I DID!!! HAPPY NEW YEARS!